Venting One, eight, three hundred and forty-six

[Lavínia]

- I saw the bottom of a bottle, small coins stuck in it, the metal kissing the rest of the soda. That texture, the fixed scraping your teeth while there's sweetness on your tongue. The nauseating color, brown, multicolored and black of the bottle. Two heads, 7 cents.
- I saw my mother gnaw on a piece of meat today. She killed a rat, delicately tore off the left part, threw it away with disdain, and began to eat the body. Her tongue went into the carcass, gnawing at the rat's organs and dirt, then nibbled on the skin, like something extra. She gnawed, she gnawed. She gnawed, what does that make me feel?
- Today I wanted to die, I think about it.
- Today I saw small birds that reminded me of why I lived, of what I sought before, and lost.
- I thought of a song, a song to sing and write for those I love, how to bring together passion and regret, feelings so similar that it's hard to tell the difference.
- I hate everything around me, people, time, objects and even the nonexistent. This facet, made of glass, that is not present and does not kiss me, does not allow me to look at understanding, disgusts me.
- I think.
- I saw.
- I heard.
- I guess.
- I believe.
- I did.
- I will.
- I want.
- I. I. I. I. I. I.
- I will rip out my throat.
- I will jump off a bridge.
- sn.
- partial hanging.
- co2.
- exit bag.
- caustic soda.
One, eight, three hundred and forty-six.

 

[kamikaze_shark04]

What's the one, eight, three hundred and forty six mean?

 

[Lavínia]

What's the one, eight, three hundred and forty six mean?

just playing with dates, making a counting game is how much time I have left. I memorize the numbers and share them with my family and colleagues to vent about, but it needs to be disorganized so it doesn't look like a countdown.