Discussion What are your plans for your last day?

[Your Own Ghost]

Somewhere, someone is writing the cliché in their journal "And I saw the world, as if for the first time."

But when you're certain you're going to die, you may encounter a similar awareness. You may zero in on minute details and see the world, as if for the last time. The person who plans with certainty on exiting this world may go for a walk, or eat a favorite meal, or simply do what they have been doing, but with this awareness by their side that heightens sensory experience and frees it from extraneous baggage.

Do you know what the hell I'm talking about? Even if you don't, what are your plans for your last day?

 

[sadsoul]

I have no special plans for my last day, I will just do the stuff I do normally, maybe listen to my favorite music one last time and write messages to a few people. And I know what you're talking about, I can confirm that when you think it's your last day you have this awareness and perceive things differently, especially the small things.

 

[Hopeless_soul]

I've been doing things that I used to love lately, as a way of saying goodbye...But my last day... I don't think I will have the strength of doing anything. It's very hard for me to do this. I have to and I want to, but I wish my life was different, and I didn't choose this. I'd love to talk to him once more before I die, that's my wish, but it probably won't happen.

 

[Guld]

I don't think I'll know if my last day is my last, I've had too many attempts at this point. But if i did, I'd have a beer and think about what my life could have been. Probably a few beers actually.

 

[Cookiedough8956]

Hmmm
Last day huh- eat /drink my favorite things, do something special for the ppl i love, (fam and bf).
Get all dressed up and pampered (ik it sounds vain but i wanna go out looking nice)
Then die.

I've been doing things that I used to love lately, as a way of saying goodbye...But my last day... I don't think I will have the strength of doing anything. It's very hard for me to do this. I have to and I want to, but I wish my life was different, and I didn't choose this. I'd love to talk to him once more before I die, that's my wish, but it probably won't happen.

Same here, trying to come to terms with it. And its very, very difficult.
I pray that I'll be forgiven and still giving Him a chance to better it and im trying as well.
But this option isnt going anywhere. Its here and at this point. Its gonna take some some miracle for me to change my mind.
Its wishful thinking the things i WANT to do before CTB. But will I? I highly doubt it..prob be crying my eyes out.

 

[Roberto]

I will buy a bottle of Baileys whisky cream, or beers, or wine ... one of the three. May be see a film. I'll buy headphones to put music with my mobile.
It will be on thursday evening, because I'll send a letter to my psychologist and write down how much I appreciate her and say how much I'm so glad the help she gave me to cope with my situation. I'll tell her I'm sorry, but at last I did it. She will see probably my email on monday morning. And I expect her to call the police to come into the flat. Using amytriptiline cocktail with cimetidine I hope to be well dead after more than 48h.
The last time, I didn't cry. I don't think I will.

 

[Roadkill]

My plans for my last day will be to get this nightmare over with as quickly as possible

 

[Hopeless_soul]

I will buy a bottle of Baileys

I was thinking that if I drank something before ctb I'd end up messing the whole thing up... but then I read Baileys, and yeah, I think I'd drink a glass of that. I can say that now, don't know how I would feel at the moment. But Baileys is great no matter what :)

I'll send a letter to my psychologist

If you are going to send a letter to her, that means you know she cares. And that's precious.

My plans for my last day will be to get this nightmare over with as quickly as possible

That's my idea too. I feel sad and angry to have reached this state of mind... I just want everything to get over with asap. But sometimes, I get nostalgic... My mind is a mess...

 

[Roberto]

If you are going to send a letter to her, that means you know she cares. And that's precious.

She is currently my only friend and contact with the world. It's a beautiful person for me. And she had a lot of patience with me. That is the only person I'll contact. There has been years since I saw a family member or friends. I wish all of them all the best, but I will not send any other message to anyone.

 

[Hopeless_soul]

She is currently my only friend and contact with the world. It's a beautiful person for me. And she had a lot of patience with me. That is the only person I'll contact. There has been years since I saw a family member or friends. I wish all of them all the best, but I will not send any other message to anyone.

That's very good. I do have contact with my family. Sometimes it makes me anxious. My psychiatrist is good, but he believes or follows some theories about suicide, that refrain me from talking about it with him. I just go to see if it helps, but I don't trust him so much. But there are way worse doctors than him, so I just stay.

It's ok if you don't want to contact anyone else. It's one of the most important decisions you will ever make, and you have to be comfortable with every step you take.

 

[chrijo]

I'll spending my last day alone in my darkened apartment. I'll spend the whole day hopped-up on drugs and listen to the only love that has never lied to me ... music. I know you can hardly plan your last day, but that's my idea of it.

 

[Dead beat dad]

Somewhere, someone is writing the cliché in their journal "And I saw the world, as if for the first time."

But when you're certain you're going to die, you may encounter a similar awareness. You may zero in on minute details and see the world, as if for the last time. The person who plans with certainty on exiting this world may go for a walk, or eat a favorite meal, or simply do what they have been doing, but with this awareness by their side that heightens sensory experience and frees it from extraneous baggage.

Do you know what the hell I'm talking about? Even if you don't, what are your plans for your last day?

Some people might love to go for a walk and eat nice food etc, but for the severely ill and mobility impaired this may just be another source of frustration (don't know, would be happy to listen to those that are willing to talk about this).
I hope what ever we 'plan' for our last day it gives us the courage and peace we need to proceed with our hearts desire.
Personally for me the thing I crave is realease from chronic tiredness and ironically the concept of sleeping forever would be my perfect plan.
Peace friends.
DBD

 

[zadig777]

i can ctb in few hours if i want to its that easy
but im having doubts to prolong it or not
im too indiferent to this
i miss the spark to push me over this

 

[Quinlor]

In my last day I will probably pass most of the day in a catatonic state...

 

[Your Own Ghost]

I didn't supply an answer of my own. Sorry.

I've thought "today is my last day" so many times. When I was younger I used to treat it more like I was actually going somewhere fancy and get a shower, shave, and put on something nice. Nowadays, not so much.

I thought I had one of those last days not too long ago. I visited family, played some scratch off lottery tickets, and then ate pizza and drank alcohol while I listened to my favorite music. That was all right. Still here, though, because dying is hard. Dying can be like a gorgeous woman who wants you only as long as you don't want her. Or man. Or three-armed amphibious rectangle that weaves between dimensions. Whatever you're into.

 

[Addy92]

Unfortunately I have zero money. But if I hang instead of SN I will go to my favourite place. The place that now hurts from memories. BUT those memories aren't the reason I'm going.

 

[zadig777]

I didn't supply an answer of my own. Sorry.

I've thought "today is my last day" so many times. When I was younger I used to treat it more like I was actually going somewhere fancy and get a shower, shave, and put on something nice. Nowadays, not so much.

I thought I had one of those last days not too long ago. I visited family, played some scratch off lottery tickets, and then ate pizza and drank alcohol while I listened to my favorite music. That was all right. Still here, though, because dying is hard. Dying can be like a gorgeous woman who wants you only as long as you don't want her. Or man. Or three-armed amphibious rectangle that weaves between dimensions. Whatever you're into.

how long are u prolonging ur death?

 

[Your Own Ghost]

how long are u prolonging ur death?

Until I die.

 

[AnnihilatedAnna]

I will probably spent that day saying goodbye to everyone I love, but not in an obvious way of course. I plan on going to school that day and making sure that my friends know I love them. Making sure my teachers know I appreciate them. The night before I go I will tell my father I love him one last time. Kiss my dogs for the last time.

 

[zadig777]

Until I die.

i meant periodically for how long now
people who aren't going to ctb shouldn't even be part of this forum imo

 

[AnnihilatedAnna]

i meant periodically for how long now
people who aren't going to ctb shouldn't even be part of this forum imo

Why not? Peope who aren't planning on ctb'ing can still be suicidal. Besides this forum is pro-choice, so it goes both ways.

 

[Addy92]

i meant periodically for how long now
people who aren't going to ctb shouldn't even be part of this forum imo

This forum once offered me therapy through reading. I hope everyone chooses not to CTB. But it's their choice as much as it is mine or yours. My personal opinion.

 

[ShadowOfTheDay]

I'm thinking of going camping in a remote, wooded area near me. I'll bring a tent, some charcoal, some alcohol, and a nice, juicy steak. Once I'm drunk, and have finished my last meal, I'll bring the charcoal inside the tent and take a forever-long nap.

 

[Your Own Ghost]

i meant periodically for how long now
people who aren't going to ctb shouldn't even be part of this forum imo

Oh, believe me, I'm not still here for lack of trying. And I wouldn't really say I'm prolonging anything - my brain is... messed up. Among it all, I've been pretty much looping over the thought of death and suicide every day, multiple times a day, since I came out of a coma about twenty years ago. I've tried hard to live, to better myself and my situation, but alas I am here and in worse shape than ever.

Also, I agree with what the others wrote about it being a pro-choice forum. I would hope the forum would have more to offer people than a stepping stone before the grave.

 

[Addy92]

Oh, believe me, I'm not still here for lack of trying. And I wouldn't really say I'm prolonging anything - my brain is... messed up. Among it all, I've been pretty much looping over the thought of death and suicide every day, multiple times a day, since I came out of a coma about twenty years ago. I've tried hard to live, to better myself and my situation, but alas I am here and in worse shape than ever.

Also, I agree with what the others wrote about it being a pro-choice forum. I would hope the forum would have more to offer people than a stepping stone before the grave.

Yeah I can relate. You're not alone on that one. And I agree with the forum offering more too. I was suicidal at one point and a reddit thread gave me hope. Whilst being full of methods etc etc. It gave me a place I could be open without judgement.

My therapist got that mad with me I left. Simply because I stated I'd lost all hope after all the repetitive win... Lose everything stages.

I really wish everyone could live out their whole lives in happiness. But it's just not possible for some. The constance up and down can be as much as a battle of one becoming purely low. Only you can make that choice as to how much you can take.

I'm done. Not long left and that's okay.

 

[Lost]

No plans. Just poof and gone. As simple as that

 

[GeorgeJL]

My plan is to play a huge end of life spotify playlist. I'll probably have to start the day before. LOL And I will meditate a lot. I will take a psychedelic a few days before hand to help prepare for letting go. I will burn some incense. And bang an escort. LOL OK maybe I'll do that one a month before exiting life.

 

[GreyMagic]

Okay so aim to stay three nights at a hotel.

First day - travel & sleep
Second day - have a massage somewhere posh and take my N
Third day - just for safety to make sure there are no interruptions before properly dead.

Ps. Two of my favourite things are sleep and having professional massages.

 

[Pentobartbital]

I plan on retreating into the wood.

From there I wish to fast for as long as possible whilst reading the Bible.

When the dry fast becomes too agonising or I finish the Book, whichever comes first, I find the most cleverly inconspicuous spot and cast off.

 

[Funkbunny]

As carer for my mum, my last day will be when she's died. My last acts will simply to be to leave letters to those that count, warning notices to the emergency services for when I'm found, turn off utilities then to the noose.