Once i know i am about to die i will thinK . finally! I finally was able to do it and escape this hell , the only rational act of my life
I win the final victory which is what counts
all my problems are solved now instantly and forever , I'm out of danger of suffering extreme torture . all the horrible things undone vanished as if they never existed or happened
back to non-existence this time forever . it's like going back in time to the year 1859 when Darwin wrote the theory of evolution i didn't exist then and had no problems then
non-existence forever no pain no suffering no problems no bad memories ever
I didn't have any problems before i was born for all of 13.8 bilion years. the problems began for me when they birthed me in to this evil world as a fragile decaying small animal whose brain is capable of suffering unending constant unbearable pain.
I don't want any part of this evil prison world and evil life . this horrible imposition undone, this abomination called life undone, from my point of view it's as if this whole evil world doesn't exist and never did and niether did i 30 trillion monstrous cells and a brain that can suffer unending constant unbearable pain for no reason but an evil imposition
What did i do all my life only what they programmed me to do since i was born a child ,mostly form 0 to 7 but all my life. are any of those garbage addictions meaningful or important that i did like watching youtube videos, sports, news , media , social media , movies , TV , etc ? no that's all meaningless garbage. all i did was suffer in this evil prison hell.
this is just page 1 of out a 1000 page book and not even 1% of how bad i found out how bad life is and how much i want to leave it