What are you guys reasons for ending it all

[MM's the name]

What are you guys reasons for ending it all?

 

[kore18]

A 5 year long struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts (plus anxiety but idk how much that contributes).

 

[brood]

An ageing body no longer capable of doing the things that I want to, my mind is so much duller and feels less connected, the endless tedium day after day after day.
I can see no future that I wish to be part of, preparation is complete just need to activate.

 

[lovedread]

Lol idk where to start. Everyone hurts me and literally nobody cares about me. Its all so so so conditional. I can't do it anymore

 

[Praestat_Mori]

A big failure in life made me suicidal and causes depressive episodes from time to time.

 

[AdamOndiAhman]

i damned myself through my idiotic stupidity, pride and arrogance. and i also negatively affected those around me ie my family. and my reason for wanting to ctb is because i dont want to experience the full consequences of my actions. id rather not exist in this body than suffer the full consequences of my idiocy.

 

[lostintheloop]

1 -I hate every part of myself, i'm worthless waste of space. Hideous inside and out. Will never fit in as autistic mess.
2- I hate life itself, nothing I want out of life, I don't care about relationships, having family, jobs, travel etc. none of it appeals to me .
3- i am victim of mind control . People will die if i don't

 

[outrider567]

Endless depression after longtime girlfriend died

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Life is just undesirable for me. I don't want to suffer. I don't want to pointlessly wage slave away for decades until I suffer through more decades of old age and die in pain. Life itself simply has nothing in store for me which I want but life does have a lot of things that makes me want to avoid it. Ever since I was born, there wasn't really much things that I enjoyed to begin with. I will always wish to be dead because I never wanted to live through life

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Used to be because I thought of myself as a complete burden on those around and saw myself as a monster who deserved to die to atone for my sins. On a deeper-level, I think I thought of myself as the root of everyone's suffering. It felt like my existence in of itself was the single cause of everyone's (and I mean EVERYONE'S) issues, as ridiculous as it sounds. I thought of myself as this entity whose existence came about by accident and who should have already been killed by the universe to protect everyone but somehow wasn't.


Now, I just want to die because I don't want to live a long life. It's just not appealing to me. Once I've gotten some stuff sorted out, which may take a while (lol), then I plan on ctbing.

 

[cowboypants]

What are you guys reasons for ending it all?

Being like a failure. Adhd/ autism spanking my butt. Been a neet for 7 years now. I could go on but in short I feel too messed up to live a normal life

 

[Spaceman Spiff]

I have never fit in no matter how I try, multiple failures throughout my life. Abusive parents, sexual childhood trauma, I'm about to turn 50 and I have accomplished nothing, my kids treat me like an ATM, going through another divorce. I quit

 

[justgivingup]

horrible tinnitus, hppd and other health issues that are just stacking up
really just dont see the point with the way the world is

 

[oneirataxia]

The trajectory of my life is in the hands of people who were tasked with raising me to be a healthy daughter, but did the exact opposite. Now I must suffer the consequences of their recklessness until the day I die. Consequences of choices made with none of my volition. Why should I continue living a whole 50-60 more years an emotionally flattened, ruined puppet when I never asked to be born into a horrendous life of abuse? Why should I accept the neverending cycle of trauma, rejection, shame and disconnection that I never consented to? Better luck next life.

 

[Eternal Sleep!]

Severe depression, anxiety disorder, OCD, intense fear (stuck in fight or flight modus) all the time, autism, very bad RSI in my right hand. Typing this just hurts due the RSI!

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't believe that suicide even needs a reason at all, rather I see it as a very valid personal choice. In my case I see no reason and point to being burdened with this existence for decades on end that was always so unnecessary and undesirable in the first place just to inevitably be tormented dying in agony from old age. Existence truly is nothing more than an unnecessary harm, it's an hellish imposistion with no limit as to how much one can suffer.

I personally just want non-existence, suicide is all that feels rational to me, I only find comfort in eternal nothingness but more than anything I wish I never existed at all, to me the existence of life was the most horrific tragedy that caused nothing but suffering and I don't want to suffer in any way.

 

[Vicolo cieco]

Failure on all fronts: NEET, uneducated, avoidant personality disorder, depression, complete erectile dysfunction, inept at everything I try to do, never had a relationship or even kissed at 29 years old, can't socialise, etc.

 

[lostinwoe]

Failure on all fronts: NEET, uneducated, avoidant personality disorder, depression, complete erectile dysfunction, inept at everything I try to do, never had a relationship or even kissed at 29 years old, can't socialise, etc.

I completely relate I dropped out of hs just cause of the socializing reasons and I haven't been able to do anything since I can't enjoy anything I used to enjoy, never found love and probably never will. I struggle with depression everyday

 

[Vicolo cieco]

I completely relate I dropped out of hs just cause of the socializing reasons and I haven't been able to do anything since I can't enjoy anything I used to enjoy, never found love and probably never will. I struggle with depression everyday

There are very few people who can relate to the predicament we're in, even online. I'm the biggest loser I know in real life.

 

[Promised Heaven]

Sexually abused from an estimated age range of 8-13. Was put in therapy for 3 years due to suddenly being suicidial. Feel miserable from the forced treatment and forced SSRIs. Lost most friends due to mental health and refusal for trying therapy again. Am the only person over 18 who never attended any form of college or university (out of 15 cousins my age, large Asian family) due to mental health, lost most respect in the family.

Stuck with constant emotional trauma, and too shaken up to reach out to any support that isn't fully confidential (therapy will break confidentiality if I am actively suicidial). Probably have PTSD, but told instead I have depression, resistant to treatment in general, and have an irrational fear of adults as a child.

Oh, and when I finally told one close friend IRL about my SA, she stopped talking to me. We used to talk at least once a month for a decade.

Cannot trust almost anyone outside SaSu. I want to live, but I equally want to die.

 

[lizzywizzy09]

I was fucked from birth. Having a good life was possible but my issues required prompt rectifying and a support system at a young age to nip in the bud. Being autistic and from a toxic family I had neither so both my physical and mental health are in shambles. It has never been so over.

 

[fleshgarden]

I have no reason to live. no motivation, no purpose, no joy, all suffering from day one .. when I say this to people they assume what I need is just something to do.. but it's that I'm incapable of doing anything. I'm autistic and I have cPTSD and so I'm odd and automatically excluded from any opportunity. I could never maintain any type of future like this, and even if I did, I have no desire to. nothing brings me joy or a reason to be alive. I've been suicidal for most of my life and before that I was being abused.. I may have emotional problems but I feel like I'm intellectual enough and I'm self-aware enough to know what I really want is death. before that I just wanted someone to understand and care, but now I know I cannot truly trust anyone and I'm not enough to be cared for like I want. the dread of living has been truly insufferable for a few months now. nothing to distract me anymore. I have no joys

 

[fleetingnight]

Chronic pain, financial problems, childhood trauma, depression, cynicism, inability to succeed at anything

 

[keg-ireland]

3 year long depressive episode with Severe agitation. Also diagnosed with an untreatable and incurable chronic disease which has taken everything from my life.

 

[VoidedExistence]

I fucked my life too hard. I literally can't feed myself to stay alive. Better to die now.

 

[divinemistress87]

Brain injury, treatment resistant depression and ptsd