What are the things you would regret about at the time of ctb?

[Sslsh]

I will most likely not regret about leaving anyone grieving for me, because I think people (including parents) love you only out of selfishness. The only thing that I will regret is the fact that social anxiety never allowed me to go out and have a life of my own. I always hid under the comfort zone created by my family, which made me develop ZERO life/social skills.

Without Social anxiety, I would have had an independent life of my own, and would not have had to depend on my overprotective mother and immature/loud mouthed extrovert father. I would have had a job, maybe a lover or even a family. Things that I can only fantasize about at night before I cry my 25 year old useless ass to bed.

I swear to god, once this covid lock-down is done, I will travel out of town, reserve a posh beach side resort for a week and consume my SN. That would be the single most happy moment of my life, and I will make sure I do not have any regretful/negative thoughts at THAT moment. Just the bliss of having all this weight being lifted off my shoulder.

 

[BottomlessPit]

Social anxiety is a bitch. Socializing is such an integral part of the human experience, and it is made nearly impossible when it is too severe. I already regret my wasted adolescence, and I don't care to witness me wasting my adult years away too.
Like you, I'm just hoping that the covid restrictions on hotels will be lifted.

That would be the single most happy moment of my life, and I will make sure I do not have any regretful/negative thoughts at THAT moment. Just the bliss of having all this weight being lifted off my shoulder.

Same.

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

Not having a fulfilling career, wide circle of friends, husband and children I suppose. How life should be or is for most people but not for me. It is a regret that it can't happen more than I did not do it though, because I tried my best, I am just limited by my damn brain. Those were always the things I thought were most important for people ever since I was little especially the children part. I kid myself that being alone is cool and fine, it's not this is all because of a disorder not a choice.

 

[motel rooms]

I will make sure I do not have any regretful/negative thoughts at THAT moment. Just the bliss of having all this weight being lifted off my shoulder.

Unfortunately, we can't control our thoughts.... Be prepared to struggle with your SI. I wish you & all of us determination & a lot of strength...

 

[Beachedwhale]

I will most likely not regret about leaving anyone grieving for me, because I think people (including parents) love you only out of selfishness. The only thing that I will regret is the fact that social anxiety never allowed me to go out and have a life of my own. I always hid under the comfort zone created by my family, which made me develop ZERO life/social skills.

Without Social anxiety, I would have had an independent life of my own, and would not have had to depend on my overprotective mother and immature/loud mouthed extrovert father. I would have had a job, maybe a lover or even a family. Things that I can only fantasize about at night before I cry my 25 year old useless ass to bed.

I swear to god, once this covid lock-down is done, I will travel out of town, reserve a posh beach side resort for a week and consume my SN. That would be the single most happy moment of my life, and I will make sure I do not have any regretful/negative thoughts at THAT moment. Just the bliss of having all this weight being lifted off my shoulder.

You pretty much just described me.

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't know if I will have any regrets. There is nothing really that I wanted from this life and most of the negative things that have happened to me couldn't have been prevented so regret isn't an appropriate emotion. I think I will be filled with relief as I take my final breath. Life is essentially pointless compared to the eternity of nonexistence. Any feeling or emotion ends when we lose consciousness. It is insignificant.

Maybe I might slightly feel sympathy for those I'm leaving behind, even know it will not be my concern as I cease to exist. I guess suicide just creates an pain cycle, to end my pain it passes it on to someone else. It would never hold me back though.

 

[MYStERY_Man]

If it happens this weekend, I'd regret not trying hard enough to recover and causing what could be unnecessary pain to the people around me. I'd also regret being a bad example for the users of this forum.

I could regret not trying something radical such as taking all my savings and moving to a big city to try and play poker for a living until I found something suitable for long-term (mania, much?), but at least I'd leave them with some money for the funeral, so I'm not sure.

Finally, I'd regret not doing it sooner, when I first had the idea 12 years ago. If I'm quitting with the same doubts I had back then, prolonging my life didn't amount to much.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Absolutely nothing. Existence is simply us pissing and shitting and fucking and fighting and killing all for what? Nothing. People I "leave behind", ideas I have seeded, everything I or you or anyone else has ever done will not matter after you die. Nobody's does ultimately so why have regrets? Silly masks.

 

[MewtwoIsAlive]

I dunno, maybe a lot of things, but if I have to pin-point something it would probably not be able to do the stuff i kinda enjoy doing everyday.
For example not able to watch a movie or something that might air in the future, miss future games and updates to my fav games, Masturbate, Talk to random people etc etc

 

[motel rooms]

I'd also regret being a bad example for the users of this forum.

I hope you're not implying that the users who end up ctb are setting a bad example

 

[MYStERY_Man]

I hope you're not implying that the users who end up ctb are setting a bad example

I dislike being alive, but I'm a sucker for data. Take a bunch of suicidal people who've never sought help (me before April), put them through the system, most will recover. I would be giving up before fluoxetine, my first attempt at a drug, even had a chance to work. I would cause a lot of pain especially to mom and grandma which could be prevented. So I absolutely think I'd be setting a bad example by not contributing the best I could to either maximizing pleasure or minimizing suffering in the world. I don't think I'm out of control, so it would be a choice, one that annihilates the possibility of the best outcome. What is this if not a bad example?

 

[Pookie]

My only regret is that I didn't die from my first suicide attempt. I was so close to dying and it would've been an easy death.

 

[motel rooms]

I dislike being alive, but I'm a sucker for data. Take a bunch of suicidal people who've never sought help (me before April), put them through the system, most will recover. I would be giving up before fluoxetine, my first attempt at a drug, even had a chance to work. I would cause a lot of pain especially to mom and grandma which could be prevented. So I absolutely think I'd be setting a bad example by not contributing the best I could to either maximizing pleasure or minimizing suffering in the world. I don't think I'm out of control, so it would be a choice, one that annihilates the possibility of the best outcome. What is this if not a bad example?

Well, if you'd written all of that, maybe I wouldn't have misunderstood you. You just said, "I'd regret not trying hard enough to recover", which is very vague

 

[Rayzieka]

I feel like once it's all laid out in front of me and I'm going through with it I would only regret my fears as its happening and I would regret not doing it sooner. Because If I had then it probably wouldn't have gotten so confusing and people might've been spared accepting insanity into their lives.

 

[Sslsh]

My only regret is that I didn't die from my first suicide attempt. I was so close to dying and it would've been an easy death

Same. I would have been gone for 5 odd years now. Most people would have forgotten i exist (which is a good thing).

 

[Bullit]

I dislike being alive, but I'm a sucker for data. Take a bunch of suicidal people who've never sought help (me before April), put them through the system, most will recover. I would be giving up before fluoxetine, my first attempt at a drug, even had a chance to work. I would cause a lot of pain especially to mom and grandma which could be prevented. So I absolutely think I'd be setting a bad example by not contributing the best I could to either maximizing pleasure or minimizing suffering in the world. I don't think I'm out of control, so it would be a choice, one that annihilates the possibility of the best outcome. What is this if not a bad example?

I regret that I have no idea what the f you're talking about! Its very late,and I need to sleep,sorry!

My only regret is that I didn't die from my first suicide attempt. I was so close to dying and it would've been an easy death.

What happened??

 

[stygal]

I regret how this whole year played out....no fun (which would have been just doing more of my hobbies), no sleep due to stress and too much work (some distraction is okay but it was definitely way too much because of my perfectionist nature).

Just like you @Sslsh I never got to be independent from my family and move away but now I focus on my last holiday month and try to make the best out of it.

 

[Pookie]

What happened??

Was depressed for a long time and going through a lot of shit on top of shit at the time. One night I went out with a few friends and we drank a lot and got high on C/GHB/K (I can't remember what the substance was).

I remember getting home after that and my brain just switching to autopilot, telling me: "You're worthless and you have to die" over and over on repeat. So I obeyed the order and went straight to the medicine cabinet and downed a whole bottle of capsules which contained a mixture of ibuprofen, paracetamol and codeine. They went down surprisingly easily.

I then started itching all over and felt overwhelmed from the effects of the pills, but I fell unconscious pretty quickly and that's all I remember.

I was unfortunately discovered and an ambulance was called. When I later came to in the ICU the doctor told me I almost died. I started crying because I was disappointed that I was still alive.

I didn't vomit or even feel nauseous when I swallowed all those pills, it was so easy and the effects were rapid (perhaps due to the alcohol and the other drug that was already in my system.)

 

[Diesel_Punk]

For me the biggest regret will be how me ctb is really funking with my family. Other than that just the fact that I didn't do it sooner, could have spared my self so much suffering...