I'm older, sicker, sadder, and another decade has passed me by, with only trauma to show for it. I've stagnated in life; I had a very successful childhood and I feel deeply my personal failures and stymied potential.
I'm alienated from others more because I've lost my hearing and my disabilities are now more visible. The world gets sicker and sicker, and we are running out of time to fix it, and I am too useless to fight for it any more. I don't know if it's even possible for me to have friends, and I don't think I could sit out the decline of humanity alone.
It's hard for me to even want to heal when the world isn't. It's very difficult fo me to explain this in a way that most people could relate to, but I think a lot of people do feel on some level sad for their environment and might be able to understand that I could feel acute grief for the harm being done to the oceans, soil, and ecological relationships between animals, even if they couldn't understand how it affects me culturally and spiritually.