What a Damn Nightmare ..

[Huntfish34]

Hello all.. 1st post on SS. I'm fairly new to this site but made numerous replys to others and I've had nothing but kind and caring words from you guys,. Thank you for that! Means a lot. ❤

Soo... Idk where to even begin really ? Several wknds ago I joined a Good friend of mine on a little vacation. ( As per her request because of it doing us Both a great deal of healing / good ). She's been having a Rough time with her ex b/f being abusive Both verbally and physically, finding a job ,. Trying to take care of their 2 yr old son,. .. Being evicted from their RV/ trailer community .. Numerous SI which actually led me to calling 911 one night after she left me a " good bye text ".
Soo.. We finally make it to the Gulf coast of TX. ( 4hr approx drive) We both made the Ultimate decision because we Both Love the weather.. and where we were was Supposed to be nearly a direct hit from a CAT 1 Hurricane . Made it there around 4 am or so with lightning greeting us from the distance. It was So beautiful, pure, peaceful ... Everything;. Especially with her Precious 2 yr old son by our side.
Ended up getting a motel that evening and Talked about a lot of our struggles going on. We laughed , cried, and just Had an awesome time altogether with the trip. Woke up in the morning to a very dark and ominous sky / beach. Turned out that it Was a Tropical storm that grew and strengthened into a Cat 1.
Left fairly quickly after that seeing as how it was our Time to leave,. And evacuation for the upcoming storm which was already Intense as Fck. Met one of her friends on the way back home, more smiles and laughter.. I actually thought about posting a story in the Recovery section soon after. No way.. Lol

Well.... We she ends up being upset from a text from Him... The Father / abuser. I Told, asked, .. almost begged her Sooo many times .. To leave that ungreatful Piece of Shit.. He doesn't Love either of them ( While agreeing and crying saying that I was Right and that she would ).

She goes straight to him .. Saying she will Drag his ass out of bed ! No way.. I Asked , pleaded , Don't GO ! This is going to end up Very badly and I Don't want to go to Prison for his Dumbass! . Time carries.. and we Get there. I had a million thoughts racing through my mind I can't even Begin to explain. They end up screaming Bloody Fckn murder,. I can hear Loud thuds and Bangs from their kitchen area. Everything was So surreal,. Like I was in a movie.. True to life living Fucking nightmare.

Were there for around maybe 2 Fckn hours of yelling and screaming before she comes running out .. And then back Inside she goes ! Wtf am I witnessing ? ! Can Love be That Blind ? Immediately cop a resentment Against her as well for Being so careless just Asking for me to grab Her 9mm she hides under her console ( for Protection .. ).

I ended up grabbing it with about.. 3 main options.. And her baby boy was # 1; that was Sleeping so Soundly and Preciously in the backseat. Would have probably ( Rightfully so Imo to take care of him in the event of abuse ). And even flipping the Whole deal and taking myself out also just In hatred and Spite towards them as a Toxic couple. Was no Way on God's green earth I was going to subject that precious Lil guy to a scene that gruesome and morbid.

Talked with her Very sparingly and short since then,. And she's all Smiles and Heyy what's up, how are you.. WTF ? Is Love That Blind? I've already had enough hatred for Myself, for Years.. and to add this on Top.. Wow.. Just feeling so lost and betrayed by " a so called friend " .

Sorry my post is all over the place ,. But I've been trying to Process everything for maybe a month now.. Thanks for reading you guys,. I Don't expect anything back honestly. . Mostly a Huge Vent I had to get off my chest so that I don't grab my Rem 870 20ga and do the deal with a crazy Rage.

Thanks again,. Peace and Love to you all.
I just Really don't understand people anymore... Or even myself for allowing it to happen,. Again and Again. Sorry I'm a fucking idiot.

 

[ladolcemorte]

Abusive relationships are very complicated. From the outside it is obvious that the person should just leave. But the person in the relationship has been manipulated for months or even years by the abuser, which makes leaving very difficult.

It is very frustrating to watch someone suffer like that. My sister was in an abusive relationship and it took a few years for her to finally get out.

 

[bravotess]

I'm sorry . That's super rough. I'm so glad you were there to take care of her son while she was otherwise occupied.

All I can say is that you can't help someone that doesn't want to be helped. She won't leave until she's ready. You need to focus on yourself.
Seems like she just wants a superficial "hey! How are you" type relationship with you right now. It might be best that you keep it just that surface level for now. If, one day, she makes the decision to leave him, you can decide if it's healthy for you engage more seriously with her.

 

[Ghost2211]

Abusive relationships can be an emotional prison. It can be hard for people to see the abuser for who they are, and even harder to leave even if they do see. It's very awesome of you to give the toddler a safe place.

 

[Huntfish34]

Thank you all very much for the kind words and suggestions. Most appreciated.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I'm sorry you went through this, what a horrible experience when they got in that fight. Congrats for not doing anything to get you in legal trouble.

I watched this video today that I've seen before and I thought of you. I think it might perhaps address why you've gone through this before, and the frustration you're experiencing now. If you're interested in watching, it's informative up until she starts talking about an earthquake. I've found what she says in this video to be very applicable irl, I've had my own tendency to be in a similar cycle.

 

[Meditation guide]

I've been trying to Process everything for maybe a month now

That sounds traumatic for you as someone who cares about her. She is a codependent. They have a version of Stockholm Syndrome where they love their abuser as a survival mechanism. I suggest to avoid getting dragged into the trauma of it all with repercussions on you, that you limit time spent with her.

 

[BPD Barbie]

I'm in a similar situation to hers at the minute but I would never dream of getting someone else involved and I'd feel horrified if someone had to witness it as well. Love is blind, to an extent. Her situation may not be as easy as just to leave, mine for example, leaving makes me homeless. There is always a lot to consider and a lot more we don't know about them and their life. If only it was black and white and simple.

 

[Huntfish34]

Thank you So much for posting that video for me. Hits home So Hard to every fiber of my body. Everything she said,. Even past the earthquake story,. Is Exactly what I needed to hear even though some of it I can be in Absol
Absolute denile about. Trying to pick my head up,. And take 1 day at a Fckn time.