Discussion Whaddup?

[Boots2Scoots]

As the title says -- Whaddup everybody? It's Friday around 6pm where I am. Watching a documentary and trying not to show anyone else that I'm completely falling apart mentally. Sick of my brain not letting me be calm for more than a quarter second. Kinda thinking tomorrow might be that "special day" but I think that every night anymore. Tbh I just wish I could pass out right now and not wake up.

So yeah.... what's everyone else up to right now?

 

[amomentspeace]

Playing Rimworld and procrastinating when I should be working, call that multitaskin

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

WHEEEEEWW YEAH FRIDAY! PARTY! PARTY!

 

[Boots2Scoots]

WHEEEEEWW YEAH FRIDAY! PARTY! PARTY!

That's my kind of party right there. Hood closed, blanket, and a whole lotta depression.

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

That's my kind of party right there. Hood closed, blanket, and a whole lotta depression.

Fuck yeah talk dirty to me. I mean go ahead, it won't matter; I'll just be sleeping in the fetal position. :)

 

[returntostardust]

Hrmm just finished work, might game or do some bedtime doomscrolling

 

[NaturalBornNEET]

Just wandered around town trying to muster up the courage to go into a bar. I failed.

I'm going to die alone. I keep having that reminded to me recently and it's killing me inside, I'm terrified...

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

Just wandered around town trying to muster up the courage to go into a bar. I failed.

I'm going to die alone. I keep having that reminded to me recently and it's killing me inside, I'm terrified...

Just do it. Don't think about it. Just do it. You don't need courage, you need to turn your brain off then just go forward.

 

[Boots2Scoots]

Just wandered around town trying to muster up the courage to go into a bar. I failed.

I'm going to die alone. I keep having that reminded to me recently and it's killing me inside, I'm terrified...

I think I saw one of your posts the other night, did you wind up hanging out with that girl? Bar hang isn't too bad, just breath deep, find an open corner, and get a nice size beer followed by relaxation. You got this :)

 

[longlifetolive]

Kinda thinking tomorrow might be that "special day"

Same, today was a very very hard day for me and im not sure how much longer I can deal with this. Tomorrow might be the day...

 

[Boots2Scoots]

Same, today was a very very hard day for me and im not sure how much longer I can deal with this. Tomorrow might be the day...

I just have to pick my spot tn and hope that nobody bothers me tomorrow. Sorry your day was so bad :(

 

[longlifetolive]

I just have to pick my spot tn and hope that nobody bothers me tomorrow. Sorry your day was so bad :(

Thanks, I hope you find some peace and choose the right decision. I have everything ready, i just need everyone in my house to leave. Might do it tn, im thinking through it right now. Im worried that if i have another really hard day, I might do something impulsive and hurt myself and not ctb, I need to be planned and careful. I wish you luck

 

[Boots2Scoots]

Thanks, I hope you find some peace and choose the right decision. I have everything ready, i just need everyone in my house to leave. Might do it tn, im thinking through it right now. Im worried that if i have another really hard day, I might do something impulsive and hurt myself and not ctb, I need to be planned and careful. I wish you luck

Same to you. Best of luck in whatever decision you make. Feel free to PM if you feel talking to someone would help you at all. Def don't act impulsively on this stuff ever because it's a one way road whether it goes "right" or doesn't.

 

[NaturalBornNEET]

Just do it. Don't think about it. Just do it. You don't need courage, you need to turn your brain off then just go forward.

I think I saw one of your posts the other night, did you wind up hanging out with that girl? Bar hang isn't too bad, just breath deep, find an open corner, and get a nice size beer followed by relaxation. You got this :)

She cancelled. But she refuses to be conclusive and completely part ways with me. But now she's being cold.

 

[FuneralCry]

I also just wish to not wake up, all I personally wish and hope for is permanent relief from this torturous, futile existence, all I see as desirable is eternal sleep, in this existence where there's all this endless suffering and cruelty with no limit as to how unbearable it can get non-existence truly is all that's positive for me. I just hope and wish to never suffer ever again, only non-existence can bring me the peace I search for and is all I'll hope for as long as I suffer in this existence where I'm just waiting to not exist anyway, I'd always prefer to not exist than suffer all for the sake of it just to face way worse torture and suffering in this existence where there is no limit as to how much agony one can feel but more than anything I wish I never suffered, I find it the most terrible tragedy how this existence was even imposed at all.