went to the forest, i cannot survive the wilderness

[monetpompo]

wuuzz popping gaangg​

it was really hard for me to throw my rope over the branches and i looked pretty silly jumping up trying to do it. i only seemed to find tall trees. i didn't get that far into the woods since i was starting to get too hot. i might go searching again later but today felt like a bust. my area doesn't have a lot of trees so i asked my father to take me there earlier in the afternoon. looking for any tips on how anyone was able to wrap your rope around your tree without a stool. i still can't afford booking myself a hotel, but i'm contemplating it more now. i just know that i can't do it at home because it'd be really easy to catch me and my family would stop trusting me.

i probably just went to the forest thinking it'd be easier than it actually was. the hardest part is going to and from the woods, since i'm always going to need a ride there when it's 3 hours by foot. a part of me feels at ease being outside since i haven't wanted to go out at all these days. i don't want to keep being here. i'll figure things out eventually. i shouldn't keep thinking that things will fall into place. it's pro-lifer rhetoric to think that killing yourself is actually super easy.

 

[GeorgeEastman]

The hardest part about doing it in the forest is life really isn't that bad away from all the people who ruin it.

 

[monetpompo]

The hardest part about doing it in the forest is life really isn't that bad away from all the people who ruin it.

i hate the noise of cars and people when i'm out in a store or plaza area. i get really anxious just sitting in my room too. wandering mindlessly in the forest was super calming. a biker did get mad at me for standing in the path, but i didn't fault him for it.

living in the suburbs feels less about nature and community and more about cars and going to the grocery store over and over. there's very little for me to do.

 

[Tree_Hugger]

The forest is a magical place. Obviously I hope you can heal and be in a better place such that you don't need to want to ctb, but ctb in the forest is one of the better ways IMO. From nature we all come and rely upon and to her we all eventually return. Mother nature always wins the long game. I find hiking and camping very therapeutic and it's one of the few things that makes me feel like I don't want to ctb, for a while. I hope the forest can lend you her strength and peace and wisdoms.