Discussion Went to a funeral today

[DontplayGod]

Went to an open casket funeral for someone close to me, I thought this would be a lot harder and I would experience the grief everyone is so fixed over when convincing you not to commit. I'm not sure if this is just a me thing or what because I felt almost zero emotion, there was some there, but very little. I couldn't cry and nothing about this funeral really made me sad. The only impact it made on me was seeing a dead body for the first time which caught my attention. I don't know what happened to me, the first funeral I went to made me absolutely devasted, but then again I was around 12 at the time. I didn't even know the person too well, yet it had more of an impact on me than someone who has formed a decent chunk of my life.

 

[Cathy Ames]

I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[Pluto]

Glad you handled it with such aplomb. In some other cultures, such as that of India, dead bodies are not strictly hidden from view (or at least presented for display with unnatural polish).

Leaving aside the 18th century joke about taxes, death is the most natural thing in life, so our culture's morbid relationship with it could be a root cause of much dysfunction that we see. From people's fixation on survival at any cost, lifestyles rooted in primal fear and, of course, the belief that dying should be procrastinated endlessly regardless of quality of life. In a tragic irony, our obsession with avoiding death leads to most people never really living.

 

[FuneralCry]

I have never been to a funeral personally. I just cannot see death as being something sad, it is inevitable for us all and when we are dead nothing can hurt us. I guess I feel this way as death is what I want more than anything.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

I have only been to one funeral so far, that of my grandfather. I was not very close to him. It really shocked me to see the open casket and see him lying there dead. It made me want to never go to a funeral again in my life. And I don't want one for myself either. I just want to be cremated and have the ashes thrown into the sea.

 

[LunarPyotr]

For me personally, I just never go to such "events" anymore.
After visiting so many funerals, I got just tired and annoyed.
From the culture where I come from, it's somewhat an tradition to throw a party after the funeral, which always gave me more of the vibe that those people are throwing a party because they're glad that this person is gone.
The people at those parties were mostly totally wasted to the point where they slept in their cars.
That was just disgusting to look at.

 

[houseofleaves]

From the culture where I come from, it's somewhat an tradition to throw a party after the funeral, which always gave me more of the vibe that those people are throwing a party because they're glad that this person is gone.
The people at those parties were mostly totally wasted to the point where they slept in their cars.

I'm super super sorry to say that and i don't want to sound offensive, but isn't that tradition kinda… cool? Personally, i'd like people to throw a party after my funeral, so they can forget me and my stupid death

 

[DontplayGod]

I'm super super sorry to say that and i don't want to sound offensive, but isn't that tradition kinda… cool? Personally, i'd like people to throw a party after my funeral, so they can forget me and my stupid death

I think it should be a personal choice, if the person never stated what they would like their funeral to be like the most respectful option would be a serious sad funeral.

 

[Red Scare]

Glad you handled it with such aplomb. In some other cultures, such as that of India, dead bodies are not strictly hidden from view (or at least presented for display with unnatural polish).

Leaving aside the 18th century joke about taxes, death is the most natural thing in life, so our culture's morbid relationship with it could be a root cause of much dysfunction that we see. From people's fixation on survival at any cost, lifestyles rooted in primal fear and, of course, the belief that dying should be procrastinated endlessly regardless of quality of life. In a tragic irony, our obsession with avoiding death leads to most people never really living.

This is very interesting to think about, when you consider there are those people who call themselves "preppers" because they are preparing for some worse case scenario, like nuclear war, or a giant solar flare that wipes out all communications, or a natural disaster, etc.

Often these people spend thousands of dollars of supplies they will likely never use in their lifetime, they spend their weekends running drills with their family, scaring the hell out of their kids and scaring them growing up thinking that any minute the apocalypse will begin. They train to shoot guns, they stockpile ammo and munitions.

Here I am thinking that in such a scenario, the living would envy the dead. All I would need to prepare for such an occasion, would be two bottles of N, because I surely would rather be dead then live through that. But this idea you raise, about survival and living at all costs, is interesting. It is interesting to get into the psychology of such people.

But re: the op, I have been to a few funerals before. I would say the sadness and grief I felt were proportional to how well I knew the person, what they meant to me. I personally want no funeral. Especially knowing what they cost, I don't care if my family wants to get together at my grandmas and have a Sunday meal and bring food and talk about me but I don't want a whole funeral, and I certainly don't want them to tell my so-called "friends". I could care less if they even know I am dead, I'd rather just disappear tbh.