I have really slid into despondency. I might try to go walking when it's nighttime bc I can't stand to be seen like this. I'm out of food yet I don't feel up to having to go grocery shopping. I can't wait till the rest of the stuff comes in the mail. I'm pretty desperate to ctb and especially b4 I break down and unable to function. I've got my rent for next week so I don't really need to worry much about having to work b4 I'm ready to ctb. I kind of wish I had just gotten the other stuff at various stores but it was easier to just order it online. Hoping it will be here in next week or so. If it's not here within 5 days I'm going to go hunt for the materials bc I'm that desperate to exit.
I'm so sad for you, for us. It's hard to enjoy life when the only thing on your mind is ctb. It's hard to sleep, it's hard to take care of yourself. I understand your food situation. If it weren't for my husband doing the grocery shopping and cooking, I wouldn't eat.
This is a wonderful website for us to find like-minded souls, but also sad because you get attached to people knowing they won't be around long. Heck, for that matter, I won't be around long. But it's nice to have a place to come to during our last moments alive to speak with others who are in the same boat. None of us really want to die, but some of us have no choice.
Yes I'm so thankful for this site, it helps to be able to talk about anything and everything.
BurningLights
He killed himself with his own mind
- Jul 2, 2018
- 709
It really sucks when you can't even do a simple thing that you want to do, when you think you can't suffer anymore, something else rears its ugly head. Sorry your feeling like this, I hope you get something out of walking at night.
