Well this is getting weird now

[Sister of the Moon]

I've been feeling somewhat 'normal' almost all week. I think it's a combination of the changing of the seasons and HRT patches kicking in. My depression has lifted like a huge weight, and I'm bouncing around like a Jack Russell. I even went to a dance and meditation class last night and was strutting my funky stuff all over the place. My suicidal ideation is now fleeting, and would probably come under the banner of intrusive thoughts that I can push straight to the back of my mind. My anxiety still remains but is not as crippling. I'm waiting for this good feeling to come crashing down, as it inevitably will. I can't remember ever feeling this good, or for so long.

The thing is, I like this place and the people here. Yet I feel like I shouldn't be here now, or that I'm imposing on people who are genuinely suffering. It would be nice to recover and I'm grateful for the Recovery section. I don't trust this feeling at all to be honest. After so many years of feeling like complete crap, it's so strange.
If anyone can relate, reassure or advise I'd be grateful.

 

[CameronFrye]

I've been feeling similar lately. I'm not sure what it is either. I think the changing of the season and more sunlight/warmth has something to do with it. Maybe it's the new meds I just started. I don't know for sure and I am also worried about when it all comes crashing down. But that time isn't right now, so there's no use in worrying about if and when it will go away. The best we can do is make the most of the present and this feeling, and try to enjoy it as much as possible. I like this quote by Alan Watts on worrying about the future, "the future is a concept—it doesn't exist. There is no such thing as tomorrow. There never will be because time is always now. That's one of the things we discover when we stop talking to ourselves and stop thinking. We find there is only present, only an eternal now". Maybe this feeling will go away, maybe it won't, but that future doesn't exist yet, and the present with this feeling does.

 

[Chinaski]

I've been feeling somewhat 'normal' almost all week. I think it's a combination of the changing of the seasons and HRT patches kicking in. My depression has lifted like a huge weight, and I'm bouncing around like a Jack Russell. I even went to a dance and meditation class last night and was strutting my funky stuff all over the place. My suicidal ideation is now fleeting, and would probably come under the banner of intrusive thoughts that I can push straight to the back of my mind. My anxiety still remains but is not as crippling. I'm waiting for this good feeling to come crashing down, as it inevitably will. I can't remember ever feeling this good, or for so long.

The thing is, I like this place and the people here. Yet I feel like I shouldn't be here now, or that I'm imposing on people who are genuinely suffering. It would be nice to recover and I'm grateful for the Recovery section. I don't trust this feeling at all to be honest. After so many years of feeling like complete crap, it's so strange.
If anyone can relate, reassure or advise I'd be grateful.

Jack Russells are the greatest species on the planet and you should absolutely embrace this.

Fwiw l too "recovered" a few years back, left this place and didn't return. There were two or three good people l felt bad about leaving and l should have kept contact, but it came to a point where l could get by without reading a single post on here and imo if you too get to that point you'll probably feel the same, you'll leave and not come back and that would be a good thing for you.

 

[Sister of the Moon]

Jack Russells are the greatest species on the planet and you should absolutely embrace this.

Fwiw l too "recovered" a few years back, left this place and didn't return. There were two or three good people l felt bad about leaving and l should have kept contact, but it came to a point where l could get by without reading a single post on here and imo if you too get to that point you'll probably feel the same, you'll leave and not come back and that would be a good thing for you.

I'd miss you though, my lovely friend.
Gonna stick around for now and see which way things go. I suspect once I get out in nature again over the coming months I'll check this place less often.
There are some folks here I worry about and don't want to leave. I never had that issue when I was a lurker, I used to just go months without checking this site. Then inevitably end up in that dark place again.
I wish I could make everything better, for everyone.

 

[Chinaski]

I'd miss you though, my lovely friend.
Gonna stick around for now and see which way things go. I suspect once I get out in nature again over the coming months I'll check this place less often.
There are some folks here I worry about and don't want to leave. I never had that issue when I was a lurker, I used to just go months without checking this site. Then inevitably end up in that dark place again.
I wish I could make everything better, for everyone.

Tbh as you get better your visits here will become much less frequent naturally, you can always take the contacts you want to retain with you if you like but there'll come a time when reading another "not enough sex, too much communism" post is absolutely not helping your recovery.

 

[whatevs]

Tbh as you get better your visits here will become much less frequent naturally, you can always take the contacts you want to retain with you if you like but there'll come a time when reading another "not enough sex, too much communism" post is absolutely not helping your recovery.

Seethe harder, Henry Chinaski. Incels and right wingers are not going away, without big capitalist money backing you false rebels up with censorship and social engineering we would shred you to pieces. They can barely contain us as it is.

 

[Chinaski]

Seethe harder, Henry Chinaski. Incels and right wingers are not going away, without big capitalist money backing you false rebels up with censorship and social engineering we would shred you to pieces. They can barely contain us as it is.

I appreciate you may feel emboldened somewhat on this particular website, especially given recent events, but the fact that you feel sufficiently encouraged to seemingly follow me from thread to thread to spout barely coherent derailing shite on this forum does not reflect anything that is going on outside.

 

[Sister of the Moon]

Seethe harder, Henry Chinaski. Incels and right wingers are not going away, without big capitalist money backing you false rebels up with censorship and social engineering we would shred you to pieces. They can barely contain us as it is.

I have to laugh at "we".
"We" implies you identify as either or both of those groups you mentioned. I'll just say this - you'll shred yourself to pieces before you shred anyone else.
And considering recent events, who is censoring who?

Anyhow, today is another good day. Your derailment attempt will not spoil my good mood.

 

[Forever Dead]

Maybe the dancing and meditation are the reason for your good mood etc. I excecise as much as I can because physical excecise boosts endorphins , serotonin feelgood chemicals in your brain. If I dont excercise, my mood will plummet quite dramatically. Also meditation, especially samatha meditation can send you into a state of elevated consciousness for hours, or even days after your initial sitting if you have done it right. I cant meditate anymore because my concentration levels are very poor at the moment.

 

[Sister of the Moon]

Maybe the dancing and meditation are the reason for your good mood etc. I excecise as much as I can because physical excecise boosts endorphins , serotonin feelgood chemicals in your brain. If I dont excercise, my mood will plummet quite dramatically. Also meditation, especially samatha meditation can send you into a state of elevated consciousness for hours, or even days after your initial sitting if you have done it right. I cant meditate anymore because my concentration levels are very poor at the moment.

They definitely did help! It was just one hour of breathwork, dancing (free ecstatic dance) and finished off with ten minutes meditation. I am so looking forward to the next session. You're right about it boosting endorphins and serotonin, there's some truth in what people say about exercising more. Not that I would expect severely depressed people to just get up and start dancing and exercising, but yes there can be some benefit in it.

I hope you are able to get back into meditation at some point. Thanks for your words, best wishes to you.

 

[Forever Dead]

They definitely did help! It was just one hour of breathwork, dancing (free ecstatic dance) and finished off with ten minutes meditation. I am so looking forward to the next session. You're right about it boosting endorphins and serotonin, there's some truth in what people say about exercising more. Not that I would expect severely depressed people to just get up and start dancing and exercising, but yes there can be some benefit in it.

I hope you are able to get back into meditation at some point. Thanks for your words, best wishes to you.

Thank you. You're welcome.

 

[noaccount]

@whatevs Cuck

 

[Chinaski]

I have to laugh at "we".
"We" implies you identify as either or both of those groups you mentioned. I'll just say this - you'll shred yourself to pieces before you shred anyone else.
And considering recent events, who is censoring who?

Anyhow, today is another good day. Your derailment attempt will not spoil my good mood.

Really does read like a triumphant "this is our forum now, fucko", as if people hadn't already been made absolutely aware of that fact already, and only serves to emphasise my point that if you're not a right-wing male who doesn't get much sex it's probably not wise to hang around here and read the wonderful content from this forum's dominant voices if you're recovering.

Anyway @Sister of the Moon one of the worst things you can do when you're feeling good is worry that it will end, l see a lot of "l feel good today but what if tomorrow is bad" type posts in this section and from experience l know this natural worry isn't helpful, because when you hit a minor bump in the road fatalism kicks in ("l knew this would happen, here we go again") when you'd be much better equipped if you just enjoy the moment while you're good and deal with the bad if/when it happens imo.