Venting Well there goes that dream...

[Underneath]

Hey all, long time lurker, first time posting.

A couple of days ago I decided to email Pegasos asking about a VAD, I knew as someone with mental health problems I was probably going to be declined, so I decided to email instead of waste several thousand Euros sending in an application.

Anyway, I've just heard back and they have stated that they would not help me, telling me to "seek counselling in my own country", a very helpful response! /s

Anyway, I thought if my email could help anyone I thought I'd copy pasta it (removing some private details, as well as unnecessary stuff) here, if it helps anyone I guess that's something.

I don't really know if any of it will 'trigger' anything with anyone, but I know you're supposed to warn people in advance, so this is that vague warning, I guess.

Spoiler: Email contents

I am in my 30s, and have been struggling with my mental health for over 13 years.

My diagnosis on my medical record is Schizoaffective Disorder/Depression. Although there still seems to be some doubts about that.

During this time I have been on over 25 different medications, none of which have made any significant long-term impact.

I have tried Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, it had no effect.

I have also been given Repetitive Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (rTMS) treatment, using standard and Thetaburst protocols. While the first 30 treatments I received were effective for around 6-8 months, further treatments proved less effective, until ultimately it had no effect at all.

I've also been given Ketamine treatment, both intravenously and orally. When given intravenously it alleviated my symptoms for 2-3 days, however more recently it stopped having any tangible benefits (although I still got the sedative/dissociative effects during the infusion).

I also elected to have ECT as a treatment around late October/early November last year (2021). After my last (20th) treatment any of the positive effects from the ECT vanished after a couple of days.

I have always tried to cooperate with medical professionals and work with them to aid my recovery, and I have never been detained for mental health reasons. However, I have ultimately got to a place now where I can no longer continue to live in any sustainable way.

My parents have no medical expertise when it comes to mental health, however they have always cared for, and supported me. I have discussed my desire for a VAD with them, and they support my application.

Kind regards

Feel free to ask any questions, I'll try to answer as well as I can while trying to remain somewhat private.

~U

 

[Crazy4u]

thanks for sharing your story. i'm very surprised they denied you.

 

[Al_stargate]

Interesting. Business like any other, they probably don't wanna feel bothered to give you a decent answer. Of course money rules everything, if you sent standard application costing several thousand euros like you said, they would likely give it more time. Maybe they think if you can pay for application you can easily afford their services as well.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you did not get in. It must be unbearable to be suffering so much, it sounds like you have been through a lot. It is cruel how the society expects people to suffer for decades against their wishes. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[wljourney]

Thank you for sharing your story and experience. This is extremely frustrating.
Our experiences in therapies tried (and failed) are very, very similar. Except for ECT which I opted not to try.

I am seriously shocked they would deny you this earth on in the process. I can't think of anything else you could do or try. I myself have been told multiple times by different specialists that there are no other treatment options available.

If your situation doesn't fit the requirements of "grievous illness without reasonable chance of improvement", I don't know what will.

I'm so very sorry for this road being blocked. Truly sad.

Xoxo

 

[Underneath]

Thanks for the replies and support, I really believe this forum is the only place to actually know how bad life is.

I just don't understand why the only way I can end my suffering is by some DIY method, not only that I can't say goodbye to the people I love because of the risk of being "saved". It's absolutely disgusting.

~U