Discussion Well known SS users, whats been keeping you all alive long enough to be known?

[CannabisMuncher]

Im sure most people know what im talking about, people who sometimes aren't necessarily mods always, but really active and well known users ie; FuneralCry, CTBcoward or even RainandSadness themselves. There are many known and respected users, but to any of you users well known in the community, whats been keeping you here long enough to BE known?

 

[Abyssal]

Answering for them: SI and lack of resources.

 

[Seered Doom]

SI, pro lifers all around who make dying too hard, not enough resources on hand, inability to gain access, there could be many things

 

[Adûnâi]

I'm probably not respected (xd) but SS for me is a liminal space that's otherwise difficult to find. While I do not share many cultural mores overall, it's still a community that can talk about suicide - and that's something.

Liminality - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

Just like incel communities are male-exclusive, or WPD like watching people die, those are not merely insular communities, but are also content being viewed as offensive by the wider society.

This explains why I'm here. But as to why I'm _still_ here - it's because of my hope for AI solving most of my problems, and, crucially, because I don't seem to be under any time pressure to kill myself.

 

[boblong]

SI and anime/manga . Life is shit but if i die i cant watch anymore animes

 

[FadingFast2023]

I've been on this site with various accounts for years (not very active). But I committed to letting my cat live out her natural life. She is 12, so maybe 5 more years or less. I am older so time goes pretty fast, just waiting for my time and hoping the SN doesn't go bad.

 

[Jarring]

As a new member of the website, what does SI mean?

 

[boblong]

SI is short for survival instinct .

As a new member of the website, what does SI mean?

 

[LaVieEnRose]

As a new member of the website, what does SI mean?

Here it means survival instinct. Elsewhere it means suicidal ideation. So you can get some amusing misunderstandings.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

My illness (lupus) is currently in remission and being kept under control by my medications. As such, I'm in a much better my mental state than when chronic joint pain interfered with daily life.

Nowadays, I'm here mostly here to read other members' posts—sometimes people contribute very valuable insights—rant about the occasional family conflict and take part in various offtopic miscellanea.

 

[SVEN]

Caring for a dependant partner and elderly, loving dog. Though I'm hardly well known.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Idk whether I can consider myself as "well-known" or not. There so many different reasons that can keep a suicidal person alive for the good or bad.

In my case, when I applied for my SS account I was very suicidal and ready to CTB with my method but circumstances calmed down and no more negative threats happened for now and rn I'm much less suicidal than 6-7 months ago.

It's not necessarily the amount of time your on here it's more about the impact you leave here among the active members at the time.

 

[fuzzy-clown]

I think that once you've been suicidal for a significant part of your life, even though you found a reason to not end it early, those thoughts never completely go away. I will likely still die by my own hand, but it won't be too soon.
This is a community of people similar to me, and it feels familiar. That is why I come here.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Some of us are hanging on to wait for our loved ones to die first. I think the major reluctance though is fear of an attempt failing and, difficulty in finding materials for a method a person feels relatively confident and comfortable in.

 

[Fktw0rld]

I'm not well known by any means but my 3 dogs. All 3 rescued bullies. 1 being blind and 4 days away from being put to sleep by his breeder at only 7 months old because of his vision problems. He's now 2 years old and the happiest, kindest, most loving, gentle dog in the world. And he's been attached to me at the hip since day 1.

I can't imagine the depression he would endure without me. Not to mention my other 2. It eats me up. He never leaves my side. When I took him he was also malnourished and abused by the breeder and his other dogs. He was afraid of every sound, every object, he was afraid to eat as if he was stealing food and scared he would get caught, his body was covered in scabs and ringworm, he hid from everyone and would move really slowly with his tail tucked and ears down all the time like he was preparing to be hit or hurt by someone. He's finally confident, happy, healthy and safe. He's been through enough.

 

[Ernest1964]

I don't think that I am "well known" on SS, but if I am, I hope that I am well known for the most part, for being a positive nonjudgmental influence on people on this board and for helping others find the peace that they seek. Why haven't I CTB'd? I've been depressed for 20+ years. If not for Effexor, I would have CTB'd by now. I am diabetic and I am slowly falling apart. I like my work, it gives me purpose in life. Without my work, I really wouldn't have much to live for. I do not want to get old, and old for some people is 70 or 80 years. For me, it is around 65. I have bought my bottles of N for when the time comes and just having the bottles brings me a great deal of comfort. Just because I've help other people buy N does not mean that I KNOW what they are going to do with it, it doesn't mean that they will use it the day, or even that year. I believe in self determination. Why haven't I CTB'd yet? All in good time.

 

[Tokugawa_Yoshinobu]

Idk how well known I'm on here but I like to think that I'm at least a little famous. The biggest reasons for me not to ctb yet are that I'm too cowardly to go through with it, that part of me is sad to depart and wants to live a mostly peaceful life and that I want my suicide to succeed and not be "safed" or left in an unfortunate state.

But I cannot live a sastified life anymore and see that this ship has sailed a while back.

 

[FutureHanger]

@CTB_Coward can't find their carotid artery. FC can't get N.

 

[http-410]

I don't think I'm well known here - if anything, it's because I often repeat myself about my previous therapy nightmare. However, I've been here for a while and SS has often helped me to get through difficult times (... like my previous "therapy").

Even though therapy made me suicidal in the first place, the weekly prospect of talking to my former therapist kept me just barely afloat for years. The therapy didn't help at all and the therapeutic relationship became worse and worse, and after they dumped me last year, I'm keeping myself sane/""alive"" by abusing sleeping pills.

Paradoxically, depression and dissociation are also a double-edged sword when it comes to suicide. Both are reason enough to kill myself, but too paralyzing to go through with it. I'm working on finding the energy it takes to kill myself, otherwise I'll run out of sleeping pills, but both will end up the same.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I'm not well known here but the reason why I'm still alive is because I lack the skills and will to actually go through a suicide method. I'm too inept to bother trying with life to begin with and I'm also too inept to actually kill myself. Also, I'm stuck with strict family members which makes suicide even harder

 

[FuneralCry]

Not that I'm well known or want to be known, I've just used this site to vent about my wish to die as I feel trapped in this existence, I'll just be forgotten about which is what I wish for. But anyway suicide just simply isn't straightforward, in fact we exist in this hellish anti-suicide society where it's cruelly made so inaccessible. It disgusts me how we were forced to exist here in the first place yet cannot have the option to easily cease existing in peace in a guaranteed way, I'd also fear trying to die going wrong and just leading to way more suffering.

 

[sammiechzxv]

Not well known but I don't want my cats to lose their owner, my cats are really clingy and have separation anxiety and I couldn't imagine hurting them like that

 

[sserafim]

I don't think I'm well known, but the fear of failing an attempt and having permanent damage/being even worse off is keeping me alive.

 

[thinvy]

I haven't been here long, so I'd be surprised if anyone knew my username yet, haha. but to answer the question as if I were a well known user, it would be because of my insurance. I want to hang on just long enough to get the better payout so I don't stress my siblings out over sudden death money again. gives my mom less of a reason to be a cunt to them too.

I also just haven't gotten into a situation where I felt the dire need to die yet, at least not while my method was available to me. I think if I don't get fatally depressed by my d-day, I kind of wanted to have one last hurrah and go do some fun stuff. Maybe go travel somewhere. I kinda really wanna go to a rave before I die.

That's about it though. My cat's my only reason for living right now. Even then, I'm going to arrange for her to be taken care of when I go before her time.

 

[noname223]

SI, fear of surviving with damage, not having had the opportunity to kill myself at my lowest, the support of my support network and this forum.
However there will come a time most of that will be gone. So it is rather a matter of time.

Why I am posting so much and thus be known? Being severely unhappy with life, suicidal for more than a decade with no relief, I am a very lonely person craving for human interactions while they often trigger me in real life.