Venting welfare checks and police etc

[LittleJem]

I'm staying in accommodation for recently homeless. They just called to do a welfare check on me as they hadn't seen me today.

It makes me want to stay out.

I just hate being alive. I saw a good old friend today for lunch. But I just hate being alive.

No amount of welfare checks will solve that. And I can't tell tbe truth or I'll just get checked more.

Another woman where I am staying had the police search her room. Twice. She had committed a crime.

I am under a level of surveillance and I don't like it. It doesn't change how miserable I am or how much I hate life.

 

[drownll]

It sucks, i hope you can find comfort.
If only there was a reliable ctb method that can be avaiable immediately...

 

[LittleJem]

I have my one. Just gonna test maybe two more meds. 'Exist and Endure' my current motto.

That is unless I get worse again. Not sure how long I'd want to bear that for.

Right now my life is pointless comfort earing and general misery. But it has been much worse than this.

thanks for yoyr comment and I do agree. If I ctb I will feel sad and guilty for people who find it more difficult to get a method.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be awful being watched like that, I understand that it's dreadful feeling trapped in an existence you hate. But anyway best wishes.