Discussion Weird sleep schedule thing does anyone else do this?

[coolgal82]

My sleep schedule is honestly fucked, and its partially cus adhd makes getting to sleep hard, but also like partially because i have to minmaxx it so im awake during the night and morning and sleeping through the day. I have to do this because honestly like if i wake up too long before my besties are ready to vc its just being painfully bored and depressed till they wanna vc and very likely some kinda breakdown over them preferring to talk to others compared to me, so i have to time it so i wake up shortly before vc usually starts. this isnt foolproof i still have breakdowns but theres less time so they happen less frequently and just existing before the vc is easier.

it also works cus it means when vc ends i can get like high/drunk/whatever to avoid the inevitable breakdown because i have to exist without my besties for a bit. and again if its not a breakdown i still feel like ass. technically sometimes i dont? sometimes i have moments after vc where i'm like super happy just like probably from the vc/spending time with them or sometimes after idk its really weird like a flip randomly switches in my brain because of seemingly nothing and im suddenly super happy and have loads of energy and life is fine and i love everything and it just switches and im like "damn i love life. even if this feeling might end in a few hours it's gonna come back eventually so maybe living isnt bad maybe it'll be worth it one day i have hope for the future" and i'll be crying from happiness at how awesome my besties are

but all this only really like works with this fucked up sleep schedule and it falls apart when my sleep schedule gets disrupted and i have to try fix it again. idfk what my life has become after meeting these guys (or well it wasnt like this on first meeting it was one event that pushed me like closer to them and its just been like this since? idfk.) and like the highs are higher than i've ever had before but the lows are also way lower. i hate it and i love it and idk and it also just makes me unable to function as an actual person because this sleep schedule means im sleeping during the day when most normal people are awake. it also means i cant have a job, even if i got a night shift i wouldnt be able to talk to my besties while working so like it wouldnt be worth it so i'll just live on unemployment forever if i have to if it means i can talk to them as much as possible :3

does anyone else have a weird af sleep schedule for like similar reasons? or am i just crazy lmao?

 

[3xhilarati0n]

Yeah, my sleep schedule is also fucked. At a certain point my body just randomly decided to stop sleeping at night and start during the day. I tried to fix it many, many times (either by fully skipping sleep one day to have it fixed by the next one or gradually, like going to sleep an hour later over a period of time). But every time I think I've finally switched it back, it just turns to shit again.

 

[coolgal82]

Yeah, my sleep schedule is also fucked. At a certain point my body just randomly decided to stop sleeping at night and start during the day. I tried to fix it many, many times (either by fully skipping sleep one day to have it fixed by the next one or gradually, like going to sleep an hour later over a period of time). But every time I think I've finally switched it back, it just turns to shit again.

i used to have that happen alot but like this time for me as i explained is alot more intentional than that tbh.

 

[coolgal82]

honestly its just hitting me now that yeah this is kinda fucking weird lmao wtf