LonelyPrince
Member
- Dec 12, 2025
- 8
Last post I was going on about how I wanted to go to the ER and ask for help after overdosing. I got out of the house today in order to do so but..didn't pull through.
Took the bus after sleeping till 2 pm and thoughout the trip I kept feeling nauseous and out of it. I was dissociating the entire time I walked through the streets of my city, figuring out a way to go through with my plan.
My legs felt wobbly, I felt dizzy, sounds were too loud and I just felt like I wasn't truly there in the moment. This happens often whenever I go outside of my house.
Went to the minimarket to buy alcohol, dipped and decided I couldn't actually go through with the OD. Sat down by the stairs of a church, typed the emergency number and just stared at my phone and bursted out crying. I couldn't do it. I couldn't bring myself to call and ask for help. I was and am still scared of the consequences of that, what will be of me if I ever decide to do that. I sat up and just bought paracetamol in the pharmacy next to me and went home. I now have a box of paracetamol plus some other pills, like venlafaxina, in my possession. Unfortunately this is all I have since the medicine cabinet has been locked by my parents due to my past poor attempts at overdosing. it won't be enough to die or anything, but it still comforts me that I have a way to harm myself after failing.
That's it. I don't know what else to say. I don't know if I'll actually ever be able to ask for help since I'm too afraid of what my father will do to me.
I don't want to be beat again.
Took the bus after sleeping till 2 pm and thoughout the trip I kept feeling nauseous and out of it. I was dissociating the entire time I walked through the streets of my city, figuring out a way to go through with my plan.
My legs felt wobbly, I felt dizzy, sounds were too loud and I just felt like I wasn't truly there in the moment. This happens often whenever I go outside of my house.
Went to the minimarket to buy alcohol, dipped and decided I couldn't actually go through with the OD. Sat down by the stairs of a church, typed the emergency number and just stared at my phone and bursted out crying. I couldn't do it. I couldn't bring myself to call and ask for help. I was and am still scared of the consequences of that, what will be of me if I ever decide to do that. I sat up and just bought paracetamol in the pharmacy next to me and went home. I now have a box of paracetamol plus some other pills, like venlafaxina, in my possession. Unfortunately this is all I have since the medicine cabinet has been locked by my parents due to my past poor attempts at overdosing. it won't be enough to die or anything, but it still comforts me that I have a way to harm myself after failing.
That's it. I don't know what else to say. I don't know if I'll actually ever be able to ask for help since I'm too afraid of what my father will do to me.
I don't want to be beat again.
