We do not owe our abusive relatives anything

[FireFox]

I am getting fed up of being told by the church and my family to forgive my self centred arsehole user relatives for all the years of hurt they many families including my own because the bible says so. I am British but my parents are immigrants from a African country South side of Africa. The relatives on my mother's side are the worst people ever. They are emotionally abusive as hell, they spread lies about other relatives, they gossip, steal and just constantly use other relatives. Having a large family tree of relatives means absolutely nothing if your own relatives do not even care about your existence as a human being.

Growing up I always felt unwanted and unloved by my blood relatives because all knew my mum was struggling as a single mother when she had me and none of these people cared even the comfortable middle class ones did not care, my mum has always helps everyone in the family. I actually hate my mother so much for always sending money aboard to help the relatives with their problems ie relative can't afford medicine in their country, secondary school fees for their kids or money to help them set up a business. My mum and other relatives living in western nations feel sorry for the relatives struggling back home so send money overseas. I resent my mother for it because I got behind the time I needed really fianacial support from family.

I feel sorry for people living in poverty or financial difficulty but these relatives have NEVER been grateful for the help my mum and other people have given them. The same entilted piece of shit relatives who demand money have no respect for my mother and other members of my family household, worst of all harbour jealously and bitterness that we "made it" to the west while they didn't. Most tragic of all these relatives had multiple chances in life to change their lives but chose not too because of their greed.

My family says bible says we you must help. We owe our abusive and toxic family members absolutely nothing because we didn't chose the families we are born into.So why should we be forced to have relationships with our awful relatives all because we share some DNA which was result of chance? I have reached a point where now God forgive me for saying this I don't care anymore what happens to my blood relatives let them f*cking rot in poverty in life and burn in hell in death.

 

[Kit1]

Well done for deciding that enough is enough. I am sorry that your relatives used you and are abusive - but now you have set yourself free from the mirage the shackles of fake people who pretend to be with you when they are not. Your mum did what she thought was best for other people and would have probably had a closer connection as these people were related to, she might have grown up with them and she was in another country possibility missing that familiarity - she tried and Di what she thought was best for everyone.

I hope that you can now live for.yourself and find the home and contentment that you rightfully deserve. Take care.

 

[user56765567]

Religion and the church community has just ruined my family and in turn has ruined my life as well because of having a broken, toxic, and abusive family. The only way I was able to find any real forgiveness for others was outside god, the holy book, and the church while the book and the community within the church taught me how and encouraged me to be bitter, resentful, and hateful. It sucks what you are going through yourself.

 

[Morte]

I don't consider relatives as family. The relationship between them is almost null and I don't even live with them. A close friend is worth much more than any relative that you barely interact with. And parents are those who owe everything to their children for trapping them in this hellish world. Parents who make their children's lives hell are worse than scum

 

[ijustwishtodie]

We don't even owe our normal relatives anything as we never asked to be here. But, yes, this sentiment amplifies a lot for abusive relatives

 

[Kit1]

Friends are the family we choose thankfully.

 

[FireFox]

Religion and the church community has just ruined my family and in turn has ruined my life as well because of having a broken, toxic, and abusive family. The only way I was able to find any real forgiveness for others was outside god, the holy book, and the church while the book and the community within the church taught me how and encouraged me to be bitter, resentful, and hateful. It sucks what you are going through yourself.

@February I am so fucking resentful words are not even enough to describe my pure resentment towards God for giving me these arseholes and piece of shit relatives.

My grandmother was absolutely horrified when I said a good God would have given us good, kindhearted and caring relatives. She called me a sinner and how I should be "grateful" for whatever God gives as it for "a reason"

These relatives did NOT give a shit when my mum was struggling with me as single mother. I have absolutely nothing to be grateful for.

There is no fucking magical reason. We were unlucky and lost the genetic lottery and ended up with these piece of shit relatives.

We don't even owe our normal relatives anything as we never asked to be here. But, yes, this sentiment amplifies a lot for abusive relatives

@ijustwishtodie It's is so annoying hearing people tell me "you are an adult, you can cut off your relatives." Not everyone can easily cut themselves off from their abusive relatives.

●In SOME cultures leaving your family and relatives can get you killed. Women in the UK, USA and in European countries have been murdered by own their fathers and other family members for wanting to noting to do with their families and culture anymore. These women were seen as "bringing shame" to the family and dishouring the family. Honor based violence in the South Asain community is real. These white liberals on reddit who tell me you "can cut off your relatives" think this shit happens in the middle East and asain countries because they saw it on CNN. These idiots don't understand this abuse is happening here on their own doorstep in the USA.

● Even if you are rich and successful your abusive family can still make you suffer. In the UK we have a male footballer who represented England in the historic final of the euro games. He opened up about being sexually abused as a child. His relatives all went to the media calling him a liar. This footballer ended up in the foster care system so young the evidence was there he was abused but his piece of shit relatives along with his mother went to media denying his abuse and even failed to condem the man who abused him. The man who absued him was a family friend.

In my family's culture you can't wall away easily and cut off relatives because family and image is a massive deal in my parents culture. If I break free then I risk "tainting" my other family members unfortunately my mum and grandmother will never be able to cope with the criticism and disapproval.