Venting We are pieces of shit to the rest of the world

[Empty gas can]

Ever tried to talk about your suicidal ideation or attempts? I did. I was told I did it for attention, that I was a coward, that I was weak, toxic, a loser... Nobody wants to hear about us talking about our feelings of despair and why we don't see anything left to live for.

From my point of view, my reasons are very real. Health issues and extended social isolation and marginalization has only left my with anger, sadness and resentment. I can barely feel any pleasure or connection to anything or anyone anymore. Seriously. All I wanted is being able to call somebody to have a drink or play video games with once in a while. I can't even. I'm too fucked up in the head to be able to appreciate it anymore, because deep down, people are all out of fucks to give for a weak, sick, boring, useless piece of human garbage like me. This feeling is so deeply rooted, I think it shows even when I feel good and it pushes people away.

This is hell. I tried therapy, meds, exercise, trying to change my outlook. Sure, all those things I have control on can help when I manage them, but all the rest of my shit I CAN'T control weights just too much in the balance of things.

Everything is gray and tasteless... and fuck the world. Because, you know, why care about other people when they don't care about you.

Fuck this

 

[avoid_slow_death]

This is exactly why I hate talking anywhere. People are incredibly judgemental and self centered. Yet, they want us to respect THEIR views. Hypocrisy at it finest.....

 

[Empty gas can]

This is exactly why I hate talking anywhere. People are incredibly judgemental and self centered. Yet, they want us to respect THEIR views. Hypocrisy at it finest.....

If there's one thing humans are good at, it's expecting things from others that they can't offer themselves.

 

[FuneralCry]

Some people who haven't been there themselves simply don't understand, they haven't suffered enough. There is too much judgment associated with those who are suicidal. There is a lack of compassion and understanding. I would never tell anyone how I was feeling. This world can be so cruel to us and the suffering we experience is very real.

 

[Empty gas can]

Some people who haven't been there themselves simply don't understand, they haven't suffered enough. There is too much judgment associated with those who are suicidal. There is a lack of compassion and understanding. I would never tell anyone how I was feeling. This world can be so cruel to us and the suffering we experience is very real.

How do you explain despair? For having tried, it's not simple. Even the people closest to me don't understand that at we all have a breaking point. That eventually, it's okay to decide that it's become too much and you don't want to deal with this shit anymore. I'm broken, I can't take much more of this without changing for the worse. Seriously, this is how monsters are born. I'd rather die than become a violent, hateful, insufferable prick and be lonely and unhappy for the rest of my life. But in their heads, living is not a right, it's an obligation.

 

[ClownMe]

I've told my mum about my depression and my suicidal thoughts on several occasions and here response is either "just keep fighting or something" or "i dont want to talk about this".

*sigh*

 

[TheAmazingCriswell]

Ever tried to talk about your suicidal ideation or attempts? I did. I was told I did it for attention, that I was a coward, that I was weak, toxic, a loser...

I've told my mum about my depression and my suicidal thoughts on several occasions and here response is either "just keep fighting or something" or "i dont want to talk about this".

I am speechless. These are probably the same kind of people that clamour "Why didn't he ask for help?!" once the deed is done.

 

[motel rooms]

I've told my mum about my depression and my suicidal thoughts on several occasions and here response is either "just keep fighting or something" or "i dont want to talk about this".

Gee, I wonder why you're depressed

 

[Beachedwhale]

I've told my mum about my depression and my suicidal thoughts on several occasions and here response is either "just keep fighting or something" or "i dont want to talk about this".

*sigh*

My mum made me feel so much shame for hooking up with guys and being gay when I was a teen, she made me believe that that was the reason I couldn't sleep and did badly in school, and then when I would say im depressed she would say to get over it and I'm too young to be depressed. When I said I'm so tired she would mock me saying "iM so tIrEd". When I said I'm suicidal she made me feel guilty for making affecting her with such a statement. And yet all that time I never challenged my belief that she knew best, that she always had my best interests at heart. And now she denies all of that.

Some mother...

My biggest mistake in life was quite possibly trusting in my mother and family in general.

 

[Empty gas can]

I am speechless. These are probably the same kind of people that clamour "Why didn't he ask for help?!" once the deed is done.

Wow, nailed it right there. People don't listen. I wonder how many people like to think they are good, caring listeners are actually just as biased and self interested than most.