Discussion Ways to decrease and circumvent Suvival Instinct

[Dawn0071111]

Survival Instinct. Thanks to evolution, this pesky mechanism interferes with resolve to CTB and may sabotage the event even when mind is made up. Its a mind game IMO.

I have found that I have to keep the planning going.... otherwise I get stuck in a no mans land of niether here nor there...

What is working for me is to deliberately xpose myself to my PTSD triggers, thus re traumatizing myself into a state where my SI get supressed. It works pretty well...

What might work for you to curb the SI?

 

[lotus11]

following... I just want to die but I CANNOT get over the survival instinct. ive tried hanging but I just cant.....maybe if I had N could be easier who knows. But i feel so trapped in this world, all i want is to leave and I cant manage it

 

[GoingSoonish]

I guess I will be thinking about how much suffering I am experiencing and how I have to get over SI to avoid living with it for several more decades.

 

[Yorkshire91]

I found alcohol helped me get past my SI, that and focusing on all the reasons I want to cbt in the 1st place

 

[BPD_LE]

I found alcohol helped me get past my SI, that and focusing on all the reasons I want to cbt in the 1st place

I agree, my plan is alcohol and benzos. Fights my fear and increases my impulsiveness.

 

[Yorkshire91]

I agree, my plan is alcohol and benzos. Fights my fear and increases my impulsiveness.

I sat in my car drinking, thinking and listening to certain music then swallowed the pills. Fucked up by saying goodbye

 

[I screwed up]

True .... Si really sucks ... Specially when ur method is jumping or hanging. Can't get over the feeling .. Probably alcohol and some Valium might help... SI also keeps me from making my mind up in terms of the method to ctb, every time I make up my mind on a method it just sets in and confuses me even further and I procrastinate
I dream of getting a gun and shooting myself or hire someone to do it with me blindfolded or sleeping

 

[Soulless_Angel]

I got over SI easily, a) rum did help, but b) in the hour running up to the moment, my mind just kept replaying how shit everything was, reminded me of everything that went wrong, the abuse the pain, SI tried kicking with good times, but I can count on my fingers those, over all the pain won, sadly cops ninja styling pulling me off a bridge was the only thing that stopped me going off fully

 

[Astral316]

I was under extreme desperation once and couldn't get into the noose fast enough... when you're desperate your SI steps aside.

 

[Amz_Falls]

Sounds stupid but I through my phone off the bridge before I jumped...

 

[Soulless_Angel]

Sounds stupid but I through my phone off the bridge before I jumped...

if that was an expensive phone I can imagine thinking...s hiiiiiittttt I need that back... short cut here we go!

 

[Dawn0071111]

Sounds stupid but I through my phone off the bridge before I jumped...

Not stupid at all!! For most modern people our LIFE IS OUR SMARTPHONE. To yoss the cellphone to me would be a sure indication of the end.... The only tragedy here is failure or not being able to follow through after loss of the phone....

 

[Throwaway9787]

Benzos and booze

 

[Amz_Falls]

Not stupid at all!! For most modern people our LIFE IS OUR SMARTPHONE. To yoss the cellphone to me would be a sure indication of the end.... The only tragedy here is failure or not being able to follow through after loss of the phone....

Ironically my phone didn't even get a scratch unlike my smashed up body!

 

[Elias]

Triggering the PTSD is a tricky one. I tried that to "psych myself up" and decide if I was ready but it has a little problem... See, I was in a fight or flight situation when it happened and the SI kicked into overdrive at that moment. Everytime I'm reminded of the event, I cling to life, I call friends, I want to be comforted and surviving.

Now, I think in order to circumvent the SI, the state of mind before the act should be at the opposite of what we're expecting. If you're drinking a poison, tricking the mind into seeing this act as innocuous as drinking a juice. In a way, after you've thought thoroughly on your method and reflected on your life beforehand, I think you need to be in the state of mind where you don't take the act itself seriously. "I'm gonna drink this and sleep, forever" "I'm gonna turn on my CO generator and sleep".

Maybe we should focus on the acts we already know, like drinking, sleeping, and act naturally. We're going to sleep after all, just this one doesn't have a waking up phase. Now of course if you're an anxiety machine like me, well... Easier said than done. Also if the method is rather violent (hanging, gun, jumping), I imagine it takes either an enormous amount of courage or you trap yourself so you don't have another choice.

Yeah, the SI as well as hope are 2 of my mortal (hehe maybe "un-mortal") enemies.

 

[Death_is_Escape]

Different strokes for different folks: I traveled more than most AND am a History buff: each of these should transform any person into an Efilist, antinatalist and Atheist! Pfft!!!

 

[seekingoblivion]

Ironically my phone didn't even get a scratch unlike my smashed up body!

May I ask what it felt like falling? Also Did you fall unconscious when you landed? From how high did you fall? What type of surface did you land on? And most importantly: what phone were you using??

 

[Amz_Falls]

if that was an expensive phone I can imagine thinking...s hiiiiiittttt I need that back... short cut here we go!

May I ask what it felt like falling? Also Did you fall unconscious when you landed? From how high did you fall? What type of surface did you land on? And most importantly: what phone were you using??

I jumped from 25m onto the roads below. I was conscious the whole time until I was intubated. Surreal is probably the most accurate word to describe it. It's really hard to describe. Those first few moments on the ground also felt incredibly surreal. No noise, no pain just remember my cheek on the tarmac looking across the road. Then reality kicked in like a mother fucker...

I jumped from 25m onto the roads below. I was conscious the whole time until I was intubated. Surreal is probably the most accurate word to describe it. It's really hard to describe. Those first few moments on the ground also felt incredibly surreal. No noise, no pain just remember my cheek on the tarmac looking across the road. Then reality kicked in like a mother fucker...

Oh an it was an iPhone! Not a scratch. I have however dropped it off my bed since being in hospital and shattered the screen. Karma!

 

[Morphosis]

I jumped from 25m onto the roads below. I was conscious the whole time until I was intubated. Surreal is probably the most accurate word to describe it. It's really hard to describe. Those first few moments on the ground also felt incredibly surreal. No noise, no pain just remember my cheek on the tarmac looking across the road. Then reality kicked in like a mother fucker...


Oh an it was an iPhone! Not a scratch. I have however dropped it off my bed since being in hospital and shattered the screen. Karma!

OMG you're so brave to have actually jumped. Did you have spinal injuries or anything? Lots of fractures I'm sure?
Lol re phone, I've just had my iPhone repaired and dropped the fucking thing again 2 days later, screen smashed to smithereens both times

 

[Morphosis]

I jumped from 25m onto the roads below. I was conscious the whole time until I was intubated. Surreal is probably the most accurate word to describe it. It's really hard to describe. Those first few moments on the ground also felt incredibly surreal. No noise, no pain just remember my cheek on the tarmac looking across the road. Then reality kicked in like a mother fucker...


Oh an it was an iPhone! Not a scratch. I have however dropped it off my bed since being in hospital and shattered

Yeah two spinal fractures, pelvis, femur, legs, ankles, sacral, spleen, pancreas, stomach, pneumothorax..you get the idea!

OUCH God you poor soul. After being brave enough to take that leap, I'm just in awe you did that but what a fucking nightmare to live through all those injuries

 

[Amz_Falls]

Yeah, just got to accept it is what it is now, can't change it :-(

 

[AsexualBarbieBoy]

Struggling with SI right now. It truly is the worst torture. My life is breaking down around me, I feel torturous inside, the means to end it are in my possession and yet I can't do it. It actually feels like a third party is preventing me from sending the impulses to my hands. Why am I being forced to endure this agony?

 

[Yorkshire91]

Struggling with SI right now. It truly is the worst torture. My life is breaking down around me, I feel torturous inside, the means to end it are in my possession and yet I can't do it. It actually feels like a third party is preventing me from sending the impulses to my hands. Why am I being forced to endure this agony?

I found alcohol helped me massively suppose it all depends on which method you are going for.

 

[seekingoblivion]

I jumped from 25m onto the roads below. I was conscious the whole time until I was intubated. Surreal is probably the most accurate word to describe it. It's really hard to describe. Those first few moments on the ground also felt incredibly surreal. No noise, no pain just remember my cheek on the tarmac looking across the road. Then reality kicked in like a mother fucker...


Oh an it was an iPhone! Not a scratch. I have however dropped it off my bed since being in hospital and shattered the screen. Karma!

Damn I can't imagine the emotional discomfort you were in while you were going for it. And the physical discomfort(pain) you endured after. How are you doing now?


It's incredible how a seemingly massive fall can leave a phone unscathed yet a 12 inch drop can render it useless. I have experienced that many times. And funny enough my phone survives falls better without a screen protector than it did with.

 

[Dawn0071111]

Struggling with SI right now. It truly is the worst torture. My life is breaking down around me, I feel torturous inside, the means to end it are in my possession and yet I can't do it. It actually feels like a third party is preventing me from sending the impulses to my hands. Why am I being forced to endure this agony?

I hear you, the species wants us here. .. it can be a really strong force... even in the face of extreme suffering. Perhaps even more so then which makes it worse for us.

 

[White_Room293]

Survival Instinct. Thanks to evolution, this pesky mechanism interferes with resolve to CTB and may sabotage the event even when mind is made up. Its a mind game IMO.

I have found that I have to keep the planning going.... otherwise I get stuck in a no mans land of niether here nor there...

What is working for me is to deliberately xpose myself to my PTSD triggers, thus re traumatizing myself into a state where my SI get supressed. It works pretty well...

What might work for you to curb the SI?

You can use the nitrogen, SN with benzos, or the heroin method

 

[Cook]

I've picked a spot to jump, it's 252 feet. Wondering if a little tree in the map would buffer the fall....

 

[ThatIsTheQuestion]

Depends on the method. I'd have to be extremely drunk to jump or pull the trigger. Something like N or F would take care of itself - I already have an addictive personality so I'd look forward to the getting high part too much to care about the dying part. But I can only afford SN, and you can't drink with that, so I'll have to use medical weed and hopefully some darknet benzos. Otherwise I think there's just a line you have to cross and you can't cross it until you get to it. SI isn't something you can reliably plan your way around. It's why no more than 1 in 8 suicide attempts ends in death. Shit's harder than it looks.

 

[justanotherday]

Survival Instinct. Thanks to evolution, this pesky mechanism interferes with resolve to CTB and may sabotage the event even when mind is made up. Its a mind game IMO.

I have found that I have to keep the planning going.... otherwise I get stuck in a no mans land of niether here nor there...

What is working for me is to deliberately xpose myself to my PTSD triggers, thus re traumatizing myself into a state where my SI get supressed. It works pretty well...

What might work for you to curb the SI?

Getting rid of phone, of putting it up where you cannot get to it. The phone was what caused me to be " saved", and I did not want to be saved.

 

[RightToExit]

You can use the nitrogen, SN with benzos, or the heroin method

Phew. There's already so much to take with the SN; I really don't know where I would even get the benzos. Plus if you take them too early, you might screw up the method (?)