Im so terrified of pain. The idea of any amount of pain from any known method alongside the possibility of failing is the most dreadful thing I can imagine. When I think about most methods, I get so squeamish and feel disgusting and scared. Like I feel hyper aware of my body and my internal organs. I feel so squeamish and freaked out, especially around my neck. I just feel so freaked out, and the added possibility of failing or being in immense pain terrifies me. I so often want to die so desperately, but when I start to create any kind of plan I freak myself out to the point that I cant think about it.
Particularly when I think about an SN protocol I feel so squeamish. It feels like SI thats stopping me from ctb/preparing to ctb. Feels like im way too scared to truly attempt. Sucks.
Particularly when I think about an SN protocol I feel so squeamish. It feels like SI thats stopping me from ctb/preparing to ctb. Feels like im way too scared to truly attempt. Sucks.
