Help Watching CBT videos for desensitization

[Snailey]

Does anybody else do this? I've been trying to stomach videos on WPD to get more comfortable with CBTing but every method seems awful and painful. I want to exit so bad since things will never improve and I missed every shot at it, but it feels like everything is overwhelmingly terrifying.

Every hanging video i see people are flailing at the last minute, SN people are wreching and shaking, jumping just seems awful, self-inflicted gunshots seem better but getting one where I live sounds impossible. Gun range is completely out the question because I have personal qualms about involving other people in a CBT. Weirdly enough I can never seem to find CO exit bag videos and I'd like to atleast see the process before attempting.

Has it worked for anyone? Are there better ways to feel more comfortable?

 

[kennex]

Where do you see those videos? What is WPD? I've been trying to find any source for videos and letters but it's very hard in clear net...

 

[Into_The_Void33]

Does anybody else do this? I've been trying to stomach videos on WPD to get more comfortable with CBTing but every method seems awful and painful. I want to exit so bad since things will never improve and I missed every shot at it, but it seems like everything is overwhelmingly terrifying.

Every hanging video i see people are flailing at the last minute, SN people are wreching and shaking, jumping just seems awful, self-inflicted gunshots seem better but getting one where I live sounds impossible. Gun range is completely out the question because I have personal qualms about involving other people in a CBT. Weirdly enough I can never seem to find CO exit bag videos and I'd like to atleast see the process before attempting.

Has it worked for anyone? Are there better ways to feel more comfortable?

I do. I tend to rewatch to try to find some comfort in hope that these individuals seen conscious. Once I see their bodies convulsing while hung it terrifies me. I heard there's a "sweet spot" where you can place the noose and some different ways to try to achieve higher chances of blacking out quicker.

 

[ilovenewyork]

Those videos are a warning. There is no painless way to ctb and it's frequently awful. So maybe just don't do it.

 

[itsgone2]

Where do you see those videos? What is WPD? I've been trying to find any source for videos and letters but it's very hard in clear net..

Watchpeopledie.tv.

Every hanging video i see people are flailing at the last minute,

Yes but they typically start peaceful. They may not be conscious at the end. But it's confusing because you'd think it would be opposite. Agree? At least it seems this way in ones I've seen.

 

[geepeedee]

Those videos are a warning. There is no painless way to ctb and it's frequently awful. So maybe just don't do it.

this is highly misleading. gunshot to head, inert gas, CO are all painless. SN sometimes too. why are you even on a suicide forum with this kind of attitude?

 

[ilovenewyork]

What would make you think being shot in the head is painless? Looks pretty darn painful to me. Just because they stop moving doesn't mean they stop feeling pain.

The SN videos I've seen are very questionable. We don't know what they're going through because SN paralyses through hypoxia before killing. The reviews from some survivors on the forum often tell a story of desperate panic and regret. On the goodbye threads we take their silence after having drank it as evidence of a quick passing, but we don't really know how it plays out.

The body is a complex system designed to survive. You can't easily shut it down but you can make death look "peaceful".

 

[Snailey]

Where do you see those videos? What is WPD? I've been trying to find any source for videos and letters but it's very hard in clear net...

WatchPeopleDie

Apparently it used to be a subreddit but was banned so they moved it to a website. They tag every video, so ive been going through the CTB videos every day (a lot of reposts apparently). I'd recommend avoiding the comments section, there's some really sadistic people who write awful stuff.

 

[geepeedee]

What would make you think being shot in the head is painless? Looks pretty darn painful to me. Just because they stop moving doesn't mean they stop feeling pain.

The SN videos I've seen are very questionable. We don't know what they're going through because SN paralyses through hypoxia before killing. The reviews from some survivors on the forum often tell a story of desperate panic and regret. On the goodbye threads we take their silence after having drank it as evidence of a quick passing, but we don't really know how it plays out.

The body is a complex system designed to survive. You can't easily shut it down but you can make death look "peaceful".

Getting shot in the brainstem = instant loss of consciousness, afaik. There's no pain without consciousness.

Peacefulness and pain are two different parameters. And your original statement was about pain, not peacefulness. And there are painless methods; some of which may not be peaceful.

 

[interna]

The body is a complex system designed to survive. You can't easily shut it down but you can make death look "peaceful".

i agree with this.
one of the things you have to make your peace with before dying is that:
1. more often than not, it'll be painful, uncomfortable or anxiety-inducing,
2. you might or might not regret it,
3. you might or might not be conscious as you die,
4. you'll never actually know until you're dying
it's a matter of going through with it (or not) while keeping in mind it's probably gonna suck at least a bit.

 

[Snailey]

What would make you think being shot in the head is painless? Looks pretty darn painful to me. Just because they stop moving doesn't mean they stop feeling pain.

The SN videos I've seen are very questionable. We don't know what they're going through because SN paralyses through hypoxia before killing. The reviews from some survivors on the forum often tell a story of desperate panic and regret. On the goodbye threads we take their silence after having drank it as evidence of a quick passing, but we don't really know how it plays out.

The body is a complex system designed to survive. You can't easily shut it down but you can make death look "peaceful".

Out of every method, it's definitely the quickest if not the least painful. My only fear is surviving it. I saw a video of a dude shooting himself, still living, and he had to walk all the way back to his shed just to get another bullet. Probably one of the most disturbing ones I saw only cause of the sheer willpower he had to walk right after shooting himself. I also saw a shotgun survivor and it the worse thing I've ever seen.

And this is pretty much my exact feelings on SN too, I wouldn't touch that stuff with a ten foot pole. I remember there was a goodbye thread that had someone saying their heartbeat was freaking them out and to try a different method.

When I was trying to find DSL I also encountered a lot of fake sites and people charging just to find the real link too. Fucked up people are taking advantage of vulnerable people like that and completely turned me off from the method. I'd rather give my money to Canadian Tire or a Gun shop before I die, not some asshole scammer.

i agree with this.
one of the things you have to make your peace with before dying is that:
1. more often than not, it'll be painful, uncomfortable or anxiety-inducing,
2. you might or might not regret it,
3. you might or might not be conscious as you die,
4. you'll never actually know until you're dying
it's a matter of going through with it (or not) while keeping in mind it's probably gonna suck at least a bit.

This was a hard truth to accept after browsing the forum for a while. Sucks there's no easy way out, but that millions of years of evolution for you I guess.

 

[BradGuy123]

And this is pretty much my exact feelings on SN too, I wouldn't touch that stuff with a ten foot pole. I remember there was a goodbye thread that had someone saying their heartbeat was freaking them out and to try a different method.

I saw a thread where a guy said his insides were burning and he was sweating

 

[pechaberry]

this is highly misleading. gunshot to head, inert gas, CO are all painless. SN sometimes too. why are you even on a suicide forum with this kind of attitude?

Not to mention opioids are incredibly painless. Almost euphoric. People just don't use them since they are unreliable. Easy to mess up and have life long consequences, also easy for people to "save" you.

I saw a thread where a guy said his insides were burning and he was sweating

There was literally a guy a day or two ago who survived and said it was horrific. I've been scared of SN since.

 

[taker_of_insulin]

Does anybody else do this? I've been trying to stomach videos on WPD to get more comfortable with CBTing but every method seems awful and painful. I want to exit so bad since things will never improve and I missed every shot at it, but it feels like everything is overwhelmingly terrifying.

Every hanging video i see people are flailing at the last minute, SN people are wreching and shaking, jumping just seems awful, self-inflicted gunshots seem better but getting one where I live sounds impossible. Gun range is completely out the question because I have personal qualms about involving other people in a CBT. Weirdly enough I can never seem to find CO exit bag videos and I'd like to atleast see the process before attempting.

Has it worked for anyone? Are there better ways to feel more comfortable?

Yes, I just started watching videos on that site this week. Specifically hanging videos. But I'm thinking of using a gun now though. Although I wouldn't use a shotgun. I saw a video on there of a guy that used a shot gun and his face was literally blown a part. I'd hate for anyone to find me like that. I'm hoping a pistol will work well enough if used behind the ear.

What would make you think being shot in the head is painless? Looks pretty darn painful to me. Just because they stop moving doesn't mean they stop feeling pain.

The SN videos I've seen are very questionable. We don't know what they're going through because SN paralyses through hypoxia before killing. The reviews from some survivors on the forum often tell a story of desperate panic and regret. On the goodbye threads we take their silence after having drank it as evidence of a quick passing, but we don't really know how it plays out.

The body is a complex system designed to survive. You can't easily shut it down but you can make death look "peaceful".

Yeah, the SN videos I've seen looked very uncomfortable. They all vomited uncontrollably. And it took like half an hour for them to stop twitching. So I imagine they had some sort of panic set in at some point before they passed. That's something I'm trying to avoid. I have a panic disorder.

 

[wannabeangel]

i do the same thing, both to desensitize myself and also to see how methods look basically, so many looked painful but some kinda reassured me with some methods. so many vids posted are ones that seem impulsive or rushed, and those end up looking the most painful. only a few hanging and SN vids actually brought me some sense of relief, not all of them are too bad at least compared to others

Yeah, the SN videos I've seen looked very uncomfortable. They all vomited uncontrollably. And it took like half an hour for them to stop twitching. So I imagine they had some sort of panic set in at some point before they passed. That's something I'm trying to avoid. I have a panic disorder.

the SN videos also gave me the same fear, until i found one from a member on here that did proper protocol (a lot of the SN vids they dont seem to be following anything, especially ones that looked more impulsive) and that one video eased my worries a bit about SN as he didnt look panicked, he just threw up a little bit and laid back to fall asleep. half an hour to stop twitching sounds accurate, iirc that follows the timeline of how fast you'll CTB from SN, you'll be unconscious by 10-15min or less if you had extra benzos and whatnot, your body is gonna react to the lack of oxygen. the high dose of benzos with the protocol is supposed to help with any panic and help you fall asleep quicker, skipping those then leads to other SN videos looking like a regular poisoning from what i see

 

[taker_of_insulin]

i do the same thing, both to desensitize myself and also to see how methods look basically, so many looked painful but some kinda reassured me with some methods. so many vids posted are ones that seem impulsive or rushed, and those end up looking the most painful. only a few hanging and SN vids actually brought me some sense of relief, not all of them are too bad at least compared to others


the SN videos also gave me the same fear, until i found one from a member on here that did proper protocol (a lot of the SN vids they dont seem to be following anything, especially ones that looked more impulsive) and that one video eased my worries a bit about SN as he didnt look panicked, he just threw up a little bit and laid back to fall asleep. half an hour to stop twitching sounds accurate, iirc that follows the timeline of how fast you'll CTB from SN, you'll be unconscious by 10-15min or less if you had extra benzos and whatnot, your body is gonna react to the lack of oxygen. the high dose of benzos with the protocol is supposed to help with any panic and help you fall asleep quicker, skipping those then leads to other SN videos looking like a regular poisoning from what i see

I feel like I'd need an extra high dose of benzos. And I have a long history with them. I'm just afraid I'll start panicking after I take it. And then I'll vomit, which is never pleasant. But my main concern is whether they are experiencing pain or trauma as they are suffocating. I've seen the videos. It's hard to tell when they are truly unconscious.

I think the easiest chemical way to go out is fentanyl. As soon as you inject, you're lights out. Obviously that can be difficult to get. But I think it'd be the most painless way.

What do you think?

i do the same thing, both to desensitize myself and also to see how methods look basically, so many looked painful but some kinda reassured me with some methods. so many vids posted are ones that seem impulsive or rushed, and those end up looking the most painful. only a few hanging and SN vids actually brought me some sense of relief, not all of them are too bad at least compared to others


the SN videos also gave me the same fear, until i found one from a member on here that did proper protocol (a lot of the SN vids they dont seem to be following anything, especially ones that looked more impulsive) and that one video eased my worries a bit about SN as he didnt look panicked, he just threw up a little bit and laid back to fall asleep. half an hour to stop twitching sounds accurate, iirc that follows the timeline of how fast you'll CTB from SN, you'll be unconscious by 10-15min or less if you had extra benzos and whatnot, your body is gonna react to the lack of oxygen. the high dose of benzos with the protocol is supposed to help with any panic and help you fall asleep quicker, skipping those then leads to other SN videos looking like a regular poisoning from what i see

Can you send me or share the video somehow?

 

[wannabeangel]

I feel like I'd need an extra high dose of benzos. And I have a long history with them. I'm just afraid I'll start panicking after I take it. And then I'll vomit, which is never pleasant. But my main concern is whether they are experiencing pain or trauma as they are suffocating. I've seen the videos. It's hard to tell when they are truly unconscious.

i feel like i would need the same, as well as a lot of nausea meds. what i remember about how SN feels reading around on here is tachycardia (racing heart) and a headache as hypoxia starts to set in, the most of the discomfort seems to come from GI upset instead of hypoxia itself, tho its symptoms can make you feel anxious. in a lot of videos the seem to be in and out of consciousness quite a bit, but once they're out any body twitches or convulsions are from the brain shutting down from a lack of oxygen, not a sign they're aware or in pain as at that point you dont have enough oxygen being absorbed into your bloodstream to process things and you're actively dying. death rarely looks pleasant to the observer even if someone is past the point of any consciousness

I think the easiest chemical way to go out is fentanyl. As soon as you inject, you're lights out. Obviously that can be difficult to get. But I think it'd be the most painless way.

What do you think?

i would think so too, ik ODs can be hard but with opioids like that they're usually more reliable, and you'll die happily nodding out instead of trying to ignore nausea. well, with no tolerance opioids can make you nauseous as well, but with fent and strong ones like that you'll usually nod out before you feel too sick when ODing. i want to have some sort of opioid with my SN protocol once i research more and figure out what drugs will work the best together. i see some people saying opioids arent good with SN so i have been looking into using pregabalin instead

Can you send me or share the video somehow?

im not sure if the video in the original thread works, but i will link that + the link to it on WPD
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/if-you-are-reading-this-i-catch-the-bus.180603/
https://watchpeopledie.tv/h/suicide/post/366114/man-records-his-own-rather-peaceful
the original dropbox links still work for me, so im gonna rewatch it and see what wasnt included in WPD. his protocol he followed was basically foolproof

 

[taker_of_insulin]

i feel like i would need the same, as well as a lot of nausea meds. what i remember about how SN feels reading around on here is tachycardia (racing heart) and a headache as hypoxia starts to set in, the most of the discomfort seems to come from GI upset instead of hypoxia itself, tho its symptoms can make you feel anxious. in a lot of videos the seem to be in and out of consciousness quite a bit, but once they're out any body twitches or convulsions are from the brain shutting down from a lack of oxygen, not a sign they're aware or in pain as at that point you dont have enough oxygen being absorbed into your bloodstream to process things and you're actively dying. death rarely looks pleasant to the observer even if someone is past the point of any consciousness

i would think so too, ik ODs can be hard but with opioids like that they're usually more reliable, and you'll die happily nodding out instead of trying to ignore nausea. well, with no tolerance opioids can make you nauseous as well, but with fent and strong ones like that you'll usually nod out before you feel too sick when ODing. i want to have some sort of opioid with my SN protocol once i research more and figure out what drugs will work the best together. i see some people saying opioids arent good with SN so i have been looking into using pregabalin instead

im not sure if the video in the original thread works, but i will link that + the link to it on WPD
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/if-you-are-reading-this-i-catch-the-bus.180603/
https://watchpeopledie.tv/h/suicide/post/366114/man-records-his-own-rather-peaceful
the original dropbox links still work for me, so im gonna rewatch it and see what wasnt included in WPD. his protocol he followed was basically foolproof

Thank you kind person

 

[Zura]

i would rather watch ctb videos than cbt videos lol tho yea jokes aside
if you think it desenitises you fair enough but imo watching videos and doing it irl are 2 very different things nothing really prepares for the real deal i used to watch gore videos and i would consider myself pretty desenitised too but i dont think its gonna help if push comes to shove
i have seen people say that when they encountered irl death watching gore really didnt prepare them but yea maybe watching some videos will give you an idea of what to expect

 

[Feldsparc]

I feel like I'd need an extra high dose of benzos. And I have a long history with them. I'm just afraid I'll start panicking after I take it. And then I'll vomit, which is never pleasant. But my main concern is whether they are experiencing pain or trauma as they are suffocating. I've seen the videos. It's hard to tell when they are truly unconscious.

I think the easiest chemical way to go out is fentanyl. As soon as you inject, you're lights out. Obviously that can be difficult to get. But I think it'd be the most painless way.

What do you think?

Can you send me or share the video somehow?

How does one take fentanyl...can i buy pills

 

[ngdt2567]

What would make you think being shot in the head is painless? Looks pretty darn painful to me. Just because they stop moving doesn't mean they stop feeling pain.

The SN videos I've seen are very questionable. We don't know what they're going through because SN paralyses through hypoxia before killing. The reviews from some survivors on the forum often tell a story of desperate panic and regret. On the goodbye threads we take their silence after having drank it as evidence of a quick passing, but we don't really know how it plays out.

The body is a complex system designed to survive. You can't easily shut it down but you can make death look "peaceful".

totally agree. The body is going to fight to stay alive.

 

[FrustratedMTFtrans]

Does anybody else do this? I've been trying to stomach videos on WPD to get more comfortable with CBTing but every method seems awful and painful. I want to exit so bad since things will never improve and I missed every shot at it, but it feels like everything is overwhelmingly terrifying.

Every hanging video i see people are flailing at the last minute, SN people are wreching and shaking, jumping just seems awful, self-inflicted gunshots seem better but getting one where I live sounds impossible. Gun range is completely out the question because I have personal qualms about involving other people in a CBT. Weirdly enough I can never seem to find CO exit bag videos and I'd like to atleast see the process before attempting.

Has it worked for anyone? Are there better ways to feel more comfortable?

I've also seen live-streamed videos on wpd, girecenter.com, bestgore.fun of people CBTing by hanging and SN ingestion.

The SN suicide livestream of StrawberryPanic on SaSu and other sites looks peaceful however.

The live-streamed videos that really look peaceful are of teen girls and young women deliberately choosing to sit or lie on the edge of a balcony and calmly leaning back to fall to their death, in one case of two Japanese schoolgirls wearing black skirts, they took their jackets off, giggled, held hands and leant back to fall to their deaths together. So jumping from a height seems easy and peaceful, maybe too fast as a last experience.

In terms of hanging, the young teen Katelyn Davis live-streamed her hanging herself on a tree, apparently not suffering, simply saying "I'm sorry" several times. She wanted people to see it happening, but night fell as she began to hang, so you can only hear her last words and some signs of her limbs still moving for a while, then her mother calling her name, but she had already just gone.

 

[ilovenewyork]

The SN suicide livestream of StrawberryPanic on SaSu and other sites looks peaceful however.

It wasn't. She diluted the SN too much and it took a day for her to die after the video ended while her family frantically searched for Methylene blue which wasn't stocked in Brazil I believe it was.

 

[FrustratedMTFtrans]

It wasn't. She diluted the SN too much and it took a day for her to die after the video ended while her family frantically searched for Methylene blue which wasn't stocked in Brazil I believe it was.

Sorry to hear that. Does it mean she suffered in that extra time until she died?

 

[Aphid]

"In terms of hanging, the young teen Katelyn Davis live-streamed her hanging herself on a tree, apparently not suffering, simply saying "I'm sorry" several times. She wanted people to see it happening, but night fell as she began to hang, so you can only hear her last words and some signs of her limbs still moving for a while, then her mother calling her name, but she had already just gone."

ive often thought about live streaming it. is there a specific sight that allows this in a better way? (Apologies im unsure how to quote properly)

 

[ilovenewyork]

Does it mean she suffered in that extra time until she died?

I think so. The boy in the video hanged himself a week later as well

 

[byec560]

Out of every method, it's definitely the quickest if not the least painful. My only fear is surviving it. I saw a video of a dude shooting himself, still living, and he had to walk all the way back to his shed just to get another bullet. Probably one of the most disturbing ones I saw only cause of the sheer willpower he had to walk right after shooting himself. I also saw a shotgun survivor and it the worse thing I've ever seen.

And this is pretty much my exact feelings on SN too, I wouldn't touch that stuff with a ten foot pole. I remember there was a goodbye thread that had someone saying their heartbeat was freaking them out and to try a different method.

When I was trying to find DSL I also encountered a lot of fake sites and people charging just to find the real link too. Fucked up people are taking advantage of vulnerable people like that and completely turned me off from the method. I'd rather give my money to Canadian Tire or a Gun shop before I die, not some asshole scammer.



This was a hard truth to accept after browsing the forum for a while. Sucks there's no easy way out, but that millions of years of evolution for you I guess.

Damn. What do you think has to happen in a guy's life to make him walk to that second bullet after shooting himself?

 

[Snailey]

Damn. What do you think has to happen in a guy's life to make him walk to that second bullet after shooting himself?

I don't really want to search it up again for context, but from what I remember is was a very old man sitting in his backyard. His wife could have died recently or something. At that age it's difficult to move on.

 

[FrustratedMTFtrans]

It wasn't. She diluted the SN too much and it took a day for her to die after the video ended while her family frantically searched for Methylene blue which wasn't stocked in Brazil I believe it was.

The fact that she was still conscious after 20 minutes or so indicates indeed that she may have diluted the recommended 25g amount too much, or dissolved much less than 25g, which can also be fatal, but just taking longer. I understand that 25g dissolved in not more than 250mk of water should get CTB done in 10-15 minutes. It's also a personal choice of wanting it either as quick as possible or to let it happen more slowly. Even if it lasts until the next day, the dizziness, headache, difficult breathing, seizure, cardiac arrest, coma and death are all effects rhat are easier to bear than the destruction of liver and kidnies that some painkillers can cause to bring about death, sometimes lasting for days or eeeks before the end. I would want to exit between 30 minutes and the same day, but believe I woukd manage another day of some suffering, knowing the objective will be definitely reached. It is unfortunately theory and not practical for me, as I cannot access SN, like many of us these days.