I simply didn't want to be anything. To permanently cease existing is all I've ever wished for. But actually I've never wished to exist at all, only never existing is perfection to me, if it was up to me I'd choose to erase my existence so it's like I never existed at all.
I've never really had any interest in human existence personally, such a thing has always been tiresome to me, I'm certainly not meant to exist in this cruel, dreadful world where there is endless suffering. Even when I was very young I found so much comfort in death, I always envied those who died.