Help Was this SA? Am I partly to blame?

[wistfulness]

TRIGGER WARNING

Three years ago, my neighbor (16M at the time) invited my friend and I (both 16F at the time) to this graveyard to drink beer and hang out. Once we got there, we starting drinking immediately. My friend got very drunk and I was crossed yet somewhat aware of our surroundings. Our neighbor kept making suggestive comments about us, like how he fetishized getting with both of us at the same time. He started suggesting we both make out with him and slowly started to pressure us more and more. It got to the point where I told him I'd kiss him if my friend did (we had been in similar spin the bottle situations and I thought of our neighbor as a relatively safe person at the time). He ended up taking turns making out with us and it escalated to oral sex. I only compiled because I didn't feel comfortable saying no. This was also my first time doing anything more than make out so I thought I should want it (even tho I was a closet lesbian at the time)

I was the less intoxicated one so I've always blamed myself for not stopping what happened. I've tried to apologize to my friend but she blames me too. AITA for how I acted in this situation? I know I'm in the wrong for helping him pressure her, but am I partially to blame for this happening in general? Her and I are still friends but we rarely ever talk about it. I think about it all the time.

 

[Goku Black]

Bump

 

[CookedRamen]

In my opinion this was SA and you were not to blame. How could you have stopped it? You were 16 in a situation with someone who had power over you, both to there age and them being considered a 'safe' person. I was in a situation a year ago where I didn't say no. I was intoxicated and I even intentionally flirted with him. I made a few attempts to push him away when it happened. Was that SA? I could have made a bigger effort to stop it, I could have done more. When I actually think about it, well you said it yourself, "I wasn't comfortable saying no."