Wanting to watch

[Mayfil]

When I ctb tonight or tomorrow afternoon my main disappointment is not being able to see the aftermath. Sick part of me just wants to see who REALLY cares. Who REALLY greives... but as I'll be dead I aint seeing shit. I just want to witness what kind of ripple no matter how small my death will have on the world

 

[InkBlot]

Are you wanting viewers, or people to try to stop you?

Make sure if you stream something, you run a VPN and use throwaway everythings.

 

[InsidiousDormouse]

I'd love to know this too, currently my home situation is dire, constantly fighting with husband, he threatens to leave all the time but never does. I would not stop him if he tried, I dunno if he is going to be sad or relieved when I go. I don't know where he stands on this. I intend to ctb by inert gas, so he will be the one who finds me if he is still living here by the time I get everything I need.

I had a group of friends and a social life before Benzo withdrawal, but when I was going through that, not ONE of them ever asked me if I was ok and why I had fallen off the radar and no longer went out.

I would LOVE to read my Facebook page in the few days after I go, I want to know if the same people who just abandoned me then, will suddenly crawl out of the woodwork and leave pitiful messages saying how 'sorry' they are, when they've not even bothered to try and contact me in two years.

 

[InsidiousDormouse]

Are you wanting viewers, or people to try to stop you?

Make sure if you stream something, you run a VPN and use throwaway everythings.

I don't think he wants either, I think he thinks the same as me, wondering who will come out and say how terrible it is etc etc. In my case, I want to know if the same people who abandoned me in a time of need will come out and say how tragic it is blah blah blah. I think this is what OP means.

 

[Desperate_Soul]

Strangely enough, I do too. Some might call me an attention seeker, but I don't care. I'm curious.

I'm not wanting to kill myself because I want people to feel for me, but I'm doing it for myself.

Maybe it's to prove myself correct or wrong. Thinking that nobody cares about me. I want to know.

 

[Mayfil]

Are you wanting viewers, or people to try to stop you?

Make sure if you stream something, you run a VPN and use throwaway everythings.

Nah nothing like that. I just want to know who in my live will really care when i leave

 

[InsidiousDormouse]

I tried messaging one of my friends last night, all they sent me back was a poxy thumbs up emoji. I really would love to be able to see if they come out and say how sad they are etc etc once I am gone. Where are they now? Nowhere to be seen.

 

[PatKat]

When I ctb tonight or tomorrow afternoon my main disappointment is not being able to see the aftermath. Sick part of me just wants to see who REALLY cares. Who REALLY greives... but as I'll be dead I aint seeing shit. I just want to witness what kind of ripple no matter how small my death will have on the world

I mean honestly why would you care you would not exist anymore?

 

[couldntthinkofaname]

I mean honestly why would you care you would not exist anymore?

for the same reason egyptian rulers built the pyramides - we are narcissistic even beyond death

 

[Miss clefable]

for the same reason egyptian rulers built the pyramides - we are narcissistic even beyond death

Lol

 

[BaconCheeseburger]

I would LOVE to read my Facebook page in the few days after I go, I want to know if the same people who just abandoned me then, will suddenly crawl out of the woodwork and leave pitiful messages saying how 'sorry' they are, when they've not even bothered to try and contact me in two years.

This. This is how I feel too. Everyone fucks off and then acts like they were a shining beacon the whole time.