unperson
nontitle
- May 8, 2021
- 120
I am tired of not working or having an income, and the other job options that I have experience with aren't in any way ideal, so I want to pursue writing as a career so I'm not fucking broke anymore, and maybe will have the possibility of living on my own.
But I'm best at just writing whatever come to mind, whatever stream of thoughts I can capture; and unfortunately the fucking absurd advice about being authentic only works if you're a carbon copy of mainstream thinking from some popular group/ideology/etc. Also the common advice about sticking to your values is great if you're willing to forgoe livlihood due to conflicting values with what one needs to do to play into monitization and consumerism, etc. But I've been morally hypocritical when considering how, by tightly holding onto some notion of being authentic and honest, I've become somewhat of an angry, condescending person at times and perhaps had a more negative impact that if I just except the necessary evil of putting on a facade to get by in life and do something other than slowly waste away in fear of future homelessness and squalor. So I'm kinda at the point of 'fuck it', and ready to play the monopoly game of writing, but the only problem is I'm not sure how to get started and feeling very conflicted, and also it feels like I'm staring into some fire I'm about to burn myself walking through to get out of this fucking depressing poverty and toxic household where I'm living. Fuck. Anyway. Just needed to get that out.
On a positive note--yes a rarity--at least here in ss i can just be honest about shit like how fucking miserable and depressing and hopeless things can be, yay positivity! lol
But I'm best at just writing whatever come to mind, whatever stream of thoughts I can capture; and unfortunately the fucking absurd advice about being authentic only works if you're a carbon copy of mainstream thinking from some popular group/ideology/etc. Also the common advice about sticking to your values is great if you're willing to forgoe livlihood due to conflicting values with what one needs to do to play into monitization and consumerism, etc. But I've been morally hypocritical when considering how, by tightly holding onto some notion of being authentic and honest, I've become somewhat of an angry, condescending person at times and perhaps had a more negative impact that if I just except the necessary evil of putting on a facade to get by in life and do something other than slowly waste away in fear of future homelessness and squalor. So I'm kinda at the point of 'fuck it', and ready to play the monopoly game of writing, but the only problem is I'm not sure how to get started and feeling very conflicted, and also it feels like I'm staring into some fire I'm about to burn myself walking through to get out of this fucking depressing poverty and toxic household where I'm living. Fuck. Anyway. Just needed to get that out.
On a positive note--yes a rarity--at least here in ss i can just be honest about shit like how fucking miserable and depressing and hopeless things can be, yay positivity! lol