C
c0rbasson
New Member
- Sep 14, 2022
- 4
my partner committed suicide about 2 weeks ago. i can't keep waking up without him every day. i don't feel like i'm living anymore, i don't feel safe anywhere, i don't feel like i have a home anymore. i've had suicidal thoughts since i was 13 but i know that he'd done a lot more research into the actual methods. i don't want to live anymore but i'm also too scared to die. i'm a coward. especially after seeing everything that happened to him afterward, the way he called me on the phone after he took it, going to his funeral, seeing his body, seeing what happened to him and all his possessions. it was horrific. i want to die and be "with him" in whatever way i can, but now that he's gone, i'm the only one left to take care of our pets, and to prevent my parents from going through all our things. i wish he would have taken me with him. i'm so disgusted by myself. i don't want to live without him anymore but it feels like he left me no choice. it's not fair.