Wanting to die peacefully

[tev]

Hello.... I'm 21 years old and have sustained multiple concussions. The symptoms I suffer are unbearable and after the most recent concussion my memory has almost disappeared, I can no longer concentrate on anything and am tired all the time. I honestly feel like a vegetable and what makes matters worse is I put myself into vulnerable situations to enable successive concussions. I genuinely have loved points of my life but now feel i have no future and will be left at home to live with my family with no job prospects. My relationships with my friends are so strained and my sister absolutely hates me. I can't even listen to music or watch TV anymore my brain is that scrambled. I wish to travel to Switerzland to have a peaceful death the majority of the time but I also hold onto hope that I might one day recover. My life has just been a cycle of me fucking up and ruining all the potential I have so I just think I would be better off dead. How do I explain to my family and friends that it's my choice to do that? I don't want to live life in a vegetive state with no job. Sorry for the long rant I've just never felt so hopeless. I don't even have the guts to hang myself so I wish to die peacefully....

 

[Dreamless Sleep]

Just curious... do you have medical tests or diagnoses to the effect that your condition will never improve or deteriorate? If so, this would be a good talking point for the discussion with your family.

If you have the possibility of getting better, is there anything they can do to help you pursue those specialists, etc.?

 

[tidalwxves]

Hello.... I'm 21 years old and have sustained multiple concussions. The symptoms I suffer are unbearable and after the most recent concussion my memory has almost disappeared, I can no longer concentrate on anything and am tired all the time. I honestly feel like a vegetable and what makes matters worse is I put myself into vulnerable situations to enable successive concussions. I genuinely have loved points of my life but now feel i have no future and will be left at home to live with my family with no job prospects. My relationships with my friends are so strained and my sister absolutely hates me. I can't even listen to music or watch TV anymore my brain is that scrambled. I wish to travel to Switerzland to have a peaceful death the majority of the time but I also hold onto hope that I might one day recover. My life has just been a cycle of me fucking up and ruining all the potential I have so I just think I would be better off dead. How do I explain to my family and friends that it's my choice to do that? I don't want to live life in a vegetive state with no job. Sorry for the long rant I've just never felt so hopeless. I don't even have the guts to hang myself so I wish to die peacefully....

I have a friend who had a very bad concussion after being hit by a car. He tried every medicine available and all sorts of treatments and was still getting worse. It started to really impact his ability to maintain relationship, handle school, just function. We were all really worried about his but he found a physical therapist that was able to help him. He still has some bad days, but now he has his life back and has been able to come back to his passions. Maybe that's something that could help you get some peace

 

[mellow]

Hi tev, I don't have suggestions or answers, just want to express solidarity as I'm in a similar position. I have brain damage from a pharmaceutical drug. I feel like a vegetable compared to before. Can't even enjoy TV or read a book or connect with people the way I used to. I think you have to be "selfish" in this situation and do what's best for you. I know inside my life is ruined. I've been suicidal since the moment I realized what was happening to my brain. Ctb feels inevitable. I love my friends and family so much but they're not the ones who have to live in my body with my damaged brain (which physically hurts I might add). They're not going to give permission or understand necessarily. I'm sorry about your sister. My sister is my best friend and she understands and wants me to do what's best/right for me. She tells me "I think you can do it" i.e. persevere and live, but like you I don't want to live as a vegetable. She also tells me to not care so much what other people think. I'm just terrified of death and hope I'll feel readier soon.
Having said that, I hope you pursue physical therapy as a previous poster suggested... exhaust all possibilities

 

[yetme]

Hello.... I'm 21 years old and have sustained multiple concussions. The symptoms I suffer are unbearable and after the most recent concussion my memory has almost disappeared, I can no longer concentrate on anything and am tired all the time. I honestly feel like a vegetable and what makes matters worse is I put myself into vulnerable situations to enable successive concussions. I genuinely have loved points of my life but now feel i have no future and will be left at home to live with my family with no job prospects. My relationships with my friends are so strained and my sister absolutely hates me. I can't even listen to music or watch TV anymore my brain is that scrambled. I wish to travel to Switerzland to have a peaceful death the majority of the time but I also hold onto hope that I might one day recover. My life has just been a cycle of me fucking up and ruining all the potential I have so I just think I would be better off dead. How do I explain to my family and friends that it's my choice to do that? I don't want to live life in a vegetive state with no job. Sorry for the long rant I've just never felt so hopeless. I don't even have the guts to hang myself so I wish to die peacefully....

I was in a pretty bad shape at some point in my life. Nootropics brought me back to live. Particulary Nootropil and Glycine. Try those you have nothing to loose anyways.