stargazingalone
Art is meant to comfort the disturbed
- Jan 11, 2024
- 22
This is probably going to get pretty detailed, if thats to much please dont read lmao
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I dont really want to die at the moment, I just want to suffer as much as mentally and physically possible. And I dont want any of the suffering to be by illness or something, I want to be hurt by others, preferably people close to me, the closer the better (and best if its my partner since it involves sexual fantasies). I just want to be someones punching bag, them hitting me until my entire body is full of bruises and maybe even with a few broken bones. I want someone to slit my wrists to the point I get dizzy because of blood loss. I want someone who tells me how useless I am as a person, and that Im only good for either fucking or letting out your own frustrations.
As its probably already obvious, I want people to hurt me in sexual contexts aswell. Not as in SA, more like cutting up my body until blood flows down everywhere getting fucked, or like getting hickeys to the point it looks like someone beat me up. I just want to be miserable but also in some sort of high at the same time, and I wish I could take drugs to achieve this feeling more easily, but thats out of the picture since I still have to function in everyday life. I can hide bruises or cuts with clothes, so thats not a problem.
I cant talk with anyone irl about this, for quite obvious reasons, I cant risk getting hospitalized right now, and since nobody is going to do the things I want to me I also wont get hospitalized through that. I wish I could talk to my partner about that without them thinking Im sick, I just want my fantasies to be fulfilled, just like they want theirs to be fulfilled. I get that they worry, and its probably for a good reason, but I still want to be miserable..
★
I dont really want to die at the moment, I just want to suffer as much as mentally and physically possible. And I dont want any of the suffering to be by illness or something, I want to be hurt by others, preferably people close to me, the closer the better (and best if its my partner since it involves sexual fantasies). I just want to be someones punching bag, them hitting me until my entire body is full of bruises and maybe even with a few broken bones. I want someone to slit my wrists to the point I get dizzy because of blood loss. I want someone who tells me how useless I am as a person, and that Im only good for either fucking or letting out your own frustrations.
As its probably already obvious, I want people to hurt me in sexual contexts aswell. Not as in SA, more like cutting up my body until blood flows down everywhere getting fucked, or like getting hickeys to the point it looks like someone beat me up. I just want to be miserable but also in some sort of high at the same time, and I wish I could take drugs to achieve this feeling more easily, but thats out of the picture since I still have to function in everyday life. I can hide bruises or cuts with clothes, so thats not a problem.
I cant talk with anyone irl about this, for quite obvious reasons, I cant risk getting hospitalized right now, and since nobody is going to do the things I want to me I also wont get hospitalized through that. I wish I could talk to my partner about that without them thinking Im sick, I just want my fantasies to be fulfilled, just like they want theirs to be fulfilled. I get that they worry, and its probably for a good reason, but I still want to be miserable..