Venting Wanting a friend like me

[passivethought121]

By "like me", I mean mentally fucked in some ways similar to me. Someone in real life I could connect with on every level. I know I'm just lonely and focusing on the best parts; constantly relating to my feelings and possible double suicide. Knowing that we just weren't meant to live that long. In reality, it'd probably be not that great. We'd just enable each other. But I could be honest with them. I think of death almost 24/7/365 and whenever I'm prompted to say something that's unrelated to it, it's a genuine effort. We could talk about methods, or philosophy related to death, not sure. It is quite isolating when you're not dead yet and the people in your life are leaving, have left, or visibly want to leave because the reality is that nobody likes being around mentally ill people.