Venting Want to die but I can't put partners/friends through that pain

[KrowaKovsky]

I don't know what to do about it.

For some background both of my partners have really awful abandonment issues. One of them also found their friend after they CTB'd and have bad trauma regarding that in general. I make CTB jokes sometimes when something mildly inconveniences me in a game and I get met with a "please don't, I really don't want to bury another loved one."

It just makes me feel immensely guilty for even wanting to leave this mortal realm. I don't want to leave them behind and hurt them that bad but I genuinely can't fucking do this for much longer. I might just get too crossfaded to think and just do it so my last moments aren't filled with guilt.

Hell, for all I know this could all just blow over, but I don't see it doing that any time soon.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like a difficult situation to be trapped in that must be hard to deal with, I believe that none of us are obligated to continue suffering here but it's always a personal decision deciding what to do, best wishes.