Shahir
the biggest salvation would be never being born
- Apr 15, 2022
- 8
ex muslim here. found out about whats hidden under the rug that everyone turns a blind eye to saying "it means something else" and a whole lot other excuses but see the obvious. their conditioning is too deep to make them see or understand, or even think in a clear mind!
coming out with this to my pious to heart fiance didn't do any good. so many memories and experiences together, soany ups and downs over the 4years.... altho she had a little element of crazy in her, i really dreamt, planned and depnded my life around her...
anyway, tried to point out to the dark and fishy spots of the religion. it backfired, no surprise. still, the truth must've been told..
she's happily married with some pious bloke now. wedded on my birth month, probably just to salt my wound.
came back to me 1 month later, when i had just started my career after education. told me she did it out of being mad at me. we had our sneaky private time alone the day she contacted at her/mom's house ;) assured me she'll get it sorted out and be back with me. me being sadly foolish enough, fell for that.
but but but, gradually her spirit declined. they wedded with family+friends present. and that was an excuse that she couldnt devorce his hubby. as a result i shattered mentally, quit my job. got mentally fked up.
jokes on me tbh. stupid me.
but ironically, talked to her husband and he thinks she fell in love with her and gor married. blows my mind :v
in short, i have no other option. its complicated, but i am unable to make a living any more nor can i find love, which could probably tip the balance tho. but after trying deliberately to find love again, only in vain, i have lost all hope and made up my mind already that i want nothing to do with this make-belief world full of shit anymore
as of my family, im just a weed on a dying tree trunk. lost my mother, the only root i had. i dont want to be a burden to anyone anymore. i wish i could wipe their memory of me.
coming to the question, how can i die peacefully and disappear? appearing to my family that i have just ran off(for which my idea is to write a letter saying "i want to live on my own, just know wherever i am, i am peaceful" and whatnot).
i just have not figured out the 1st part yet. HOW CAN I DIE PEACEFULLY AND DISAPPEAR without any trace?
coming out with this to my pious to heart fiance didn't do any good. so many memories and experiences together, soany ups and downs over the 4years.... altho she had a little element of crazy in her, i really dreamt, planned and depnded my life around her...
anyway, tried to point out to the dark and fishy spots of the religion. it backfired, no surprise. still, the truth must've been told..
she's happily married with some pious bloke now. wedded on my birth month, probably just to salt my wound.
came back to me 1 month later, when i had just started my career after education. told me she did it out of being mad at me. we had our sneaky private time alone the day she contacted at her/mom's house ;) assured me she'll get it sorted out and be back with me. me being sadly foolish enough, fell for that.
but but but, gradually her spirit declined. they wedded with family+friends present. and that was an excuse that she couldnt devorce his hubby. as a result i shattered mentally, quit my job. got mentally fked up.
jokes on me tbh. stupid me.
but ironically, talked to her husband and he thinks she fell in love with her and gor married. blows my mind :v
in short, i have no other option. its complicated, but i am unable to make a living any more nor can i find love, which could probably tip the balance tho. but after trying deliberately to find love again, only in vain, i have lost all hope and made up my mind already that i want nothing to do with this make-belief world full of shit anymore
as of my family, im just a weed on a dying tree trunk. lost my mother, the only root i had. i dont want to be a burden to anyone anymore. i wish i could wipe their memory of me.
coming to the question, how can i die peacefully and disappear? appearing to my family that i have just ran off(for which my idea is to write a letter saying "i want to live on my own, just know wherever i am, i am peaceful" and whatnot).
i just have not figured out the 1st part yet. HOW CAN I DIE PEACEFULLY AND DISAPPEAR without any trace?
