want to ctb but don't want to hurt the people around me

[autumn68]

I wish it was easy to just do it anyways but it isn't. I think if i kill myself there's a very real chance my girlfriend does too. My sister will probably think she could have stopped me and blame herself forever. My parents will be devastated, but they're half the reason my life turned out the way it did so i don't necessarily care enough to hang around for their sake. I still feel guilty thinking about their reaction though. I have my method and I have means to get my supplies, I'm just struggling to pull the trigger. I attempted last month but a friend realized I was acting weird and called me which made me feel guilty enough to not go through with it. Maybe I'll get drunk once I have everything and see if that helps me go through with it. I just don't want to bring anyone else with me.

 

[canthaveanicelife]

same problem. the guilt is the only thing stopping me. my gf has also been trying to send these messages about living for somebody you love, so she just might hate me if i actually do. but in the end, it's our choice. they can never know what it was like for us, but i really do feel your struggle.