Want to be known as the one that committed suicide?

[ddn.ctb]

One thing I realized is that if you kill yourself you will forever be known as the guy/girl who killed themselves

I remember by name someone who took her life in high school. She was not that well known to me but I know her name which sticks with me Or the guy at work who hanged himself always know the old pictures he's in. and everytime we see it someone will say that's the guy who killed himself

In our family I will be the first to CTB in generations but we all know about that uncle who sliced his throat open with a saw back in the 20s

You will always be known as the guy/who did that.

Is it worth it.

Yes.

 

[Old Friend]

I don't especially but it is what it is.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

It won't matter when you're dead. People will be thinking all sorts of things about you. I've worked hard to free myself (mostly) of attachment to what goes on in this realm after I die. I don't think you can CTB unless you get to that point.

 

[Golden]

I don't especially but it is what it is.

Exactly my thoughts

 

[Spiritual survivor]

Nobody will be the wiser. My family will be like, oh she suicided? That's nice lol!

 

[sad_rock]

in my opinion, its a lot better than for being known as the mentally ill/incompetent one who lived. people see mentally ill people as an inconvenience.

 

[R_N]

Most people are completely forgotten in 100-150 years tops.

 

[stxrdustprincex]

honestly, yeah, i feel like death by suicide is the only way to validate my internal struggles. it wouldn't have as much of an impact on the people around me if i was hit by a car or developed a disease. suicide is the way i want to go out because i think it's the only way people will understand and believe how much pain i was in

 

[gardenfairy]

i think i'm in the minority here but i kind of like the idea of being known as this.. dying beautiful and young and tortured idk it has an appeal but i'm definitely a screwed up romantic lol. i want for everyone to wonder what happened but for only me to know. maybe that's cruel.

 

[Spiritual survivor]

in my opinion, its a lot better than for being known as the mentally ill/incompetent one who lived. people see mentally ill people as an inconvenience.

I never looked at it this way. Makes me feel less guilty about exiting. I really am a burden on society at this point or soon to be. I can't get a place to live, I'll be wandering around, flying cardboard signs begging. Nobody likes to see that. Or maybe they do

 

[sad_rock]

suicide is the way i want to go out because i think it's the only way people will understand and believe how much pain i was in

agreed. to continue living with a mental illness, people will see me as an anomaly rather than a person in pain. it's dehumanizing to be gawked at or feared.

 

[Scattered-Soul]

I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I don't wanna be remembered as just that. And I don't want people to think that depression is the cause. On the other, I find the idea of people knowing that I've died from suicide kind of appealing (this isn't really the word I'm looking for, just couldn't think of anything better).

 

[Macrista]

I think this is the only option.

 

[ringo99]

Lol why do dead people ever have to worry about what the living think?

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case suicide would be my preferred way to die, I'd prefer to cease existing on my own terms. And anyway whatever happens in this existence after I'm gone could simply never be my concern, eventually no matter what I believe that most people won't even exist in the memories of those who continue to stay here. It's comforting to think of how all will be forgotten about in death with existence no longer my problem, instead I'll be at peace.

 

[traumer]

i have a feeling that they all want to ctb but they can't do it since it's really hard to be the one who actually does that. i can imagine my mom saying "at least (my name) survived from this life by offing herself, i'm still stuck here doing all these chores"

so... maybe yes maybe not. it won't really matter after i ctb

 

[NoHorizon]

Yes. People would know I was trying my best and in pain rather than just a loser who incidentally got hit by a car or something. I feel a bit fucked up about it but in a weird way I get a bit comforted by sympathy so knowing I'd have that in death in nice in a way. Also, as a bonus I'd hope that my suicide might remind people to be kind to, rather than annoyed at, depressed people.

But in reality I'll be far too dead to care.

 

[get.some.sleep]

Regardless of how you die, there will be some moment in time when someone will think of you for the last time then you'll be forever forgotten and your existence will be essentially wiped out. I guess what I'm saying is that it doesn't matter if you're "the person who died of suicide" because at some point you'll be forgotten and it'll be like you never existed anyways.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Why would I care about what I'm viewed as once I'm dead? Though, I have to say, it sure is depressing that I'd actually matter more in the world once I'm dead relative to how much I matter right now (which is not at all). Once I'm dead, I'm dead and I'm free

 

[QueenOfSpades]

I guess I'll be somehow proud I did it. Better than to suffer a life you're miserable in. "The woman who killed herself, the crazy one..."

 

[Sprite_Geist]

You will always be known as the guy/who did that.

Is it worth it.

Yes.

Will it be worth it? For me - personally - I think yes. I am a so-called "nobody"; any reputation that I might gain from committing suicide will not reach too far, and it will likely evaporate after a short amount of time. There will be the usual unwanted gossip, and there will be fake tears from acquaintances - and by acquaintances I mean virtually everybody who knows me; after all of this is done, though, I will eventually be forgotten by everyone outside of immediate family. In the end people, society and the world will move on just as it happens with every random stranger who dies on this planet every second.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Most people are completely forgotten in 100-150 years tops.

True, it doesn't take long at all. Also once your dead, it won't matter at all how people see you, at some point it'll be as though you were never here.

 

[Gonnerr]

I understand your point , i use to feel that way but i changed my mind.

I don't want to stay here until old age just not be that guy who will be remembered as the guy who did it.

I prefer ctb because who cares what people think when you die , that's the beauty of it , no more judgement, only for those who stay.

They can take their judgement up their ...

 

[Photographer Fizzle]

It won't matter when you're dead. People will be thinking all sorts of things about you. I've worked hard to free myself (mostly) of attachment to what goes on in this realm after I die. I don't think you can CTB unless you get to that point.

How do you get there?
I have so many utterly pointless worries and concerns.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

How do you get there?
I have so many utterly pointless worries and concerns.

Over a decade of consistent daily ideation

Also a certain kind of "radical embrace".

 

[Photographer Fizzle]

Will it be worth it? For me - personally - I think yes. I am a so-called "nobody"; any reputation that I might gain from committing suicide will not reach too far, and it will likely evaporate after a short amount of time. There will be the usual unwanted gossip, and there will be fake tears from acquaintances - and by acquaintances I mean virtually everybody who knows me; after all of this is done, though, I will eventually be forgotten by everyone outside of immediate family. In the end people, society and the world will move on just as it happens with every random stranger who dies on this planet every second.

I understand that.
I always thought I would have been somebody.
I always thought my story with its marks of bullying and abuse would have ended well.
I thought I would have been remembered.
I wanted, and still want, to be remembered, to have mattered.
That's one of my hangups.

Over a decade of consistent daily ideation

Also a certain kind of "radical embrace".

I would have liked to have been memorable.
It's nearly 2 p.m. on a Saturday afternoon, and I'm in a dark room, sitting on my own and wanting so desperately to be done.
I've thought about suicide a lot, too. I need to learn to embrace it all.

 

[livinginhellnation]

No, I want to make a gentleman's exit.