GoSan1
Misfit
- Nov 7, 2024
- 277
I held my distance from SaSu, yet somehow still found my way back here.
I wake up, realizing I'm still here and how messed up I am and how I do not fit in here. Many feel like this here. Sleep is a break that one gets pulled out of when waking up.
I don't even know what the point of these messages is. Hopes that someone or something sees this and saves me? Letting out my feelings or just documenting my mental decline into a void?
There are so many people who have it worse, yet here I am complaining. And it's all my fault to begin with. But after all, it does feel nice to just type down what the soul feels.
I thought about life if it were to continue normally, just to realize how pathetic and boring it would be. People work 70% of their time, cause they can't do anything else or find pride in their work.
Office Jobs are so cancerous, it is disgusting how these people would let anyone fall for their own benefit. They only care about money, numbers, and more money. And that should be my life?
Then there's the fact that I am an absolute failure of a human and soul, my personality is trash, and I have absolutely no one besides my mother and small brother. I find comfort in poems while being the biggest piece of trash in online games. I cant cook, do the dishes, heck I don't even know how to use a fucking washing machine. Yet somehow something thought it would be a good idea to put me into this shitshow, maybe as a jester or entertainer with my suffering and growing insanity.
Go through the week and wait for the weekend, just to then realize that the weekend is no salvation, but just an easier way to pass time. For it to repeat over and over again. Never stopping.
Nothing besides anime is truly fun to me, and if there is something, it's out of reach or I'm too scared due to stomach pains and problems. Everything I wished for turned into the opposite.
I think this might be some sort of lower hell I got thrown into.
But whatever it is, I hate it.
I wake up, realizing I'm still here and how messed up I am and how I do not fit in here. Many feel like this here. Sleep is a break that one gets pulled out of when waking up.
I don't even know what the point of these messages is. Hopes that someone or something sees this and saves me? Letting out my feelings or just documenting my mental decline into a void?
There are so many people who have it worse, yet here I am complaining. And it's all my fault to begin with. But after all, it does feel nice to just type down what the soul feels.
I thought about life if it were to continue normally, just to realize how pathetic and boring it would be. People work 70% of their time, cause they can't do anything else or find pride in their work.
Office Jobs are so cancerous, it is disgusting how these people would let anyone fall for their own benefit. They only care about money, numbers, and more money. And that should be my life?
Then there's the fact that I am an absolute failure of a human and soul, my personality is trash, and I have absolutely no one besides my mother and small brother. I find comfort in poems while being the biggest piece of trash in online games. I cant cook, do the dishes, heck I don't even know how to use a fucking washing machine. Yet somehow something thought it would be a good idea to put me into this shitshow, maybe as a jester or entertainer with my suffering and growing insanity.
Go through the week and wait for the weekend, just to then realize that the weekend is no salvation, but just an easier way to pass time. For it to repeat over and over again. Never stopping.
Nothing besides anime is truly fun to me, and if there is something, it's out of reach or I'm too scared due to stomach pains and problems. Everything I wished for turned into the opposite.
I think this might be some sort of lower hell I got thrown into.
But whatever it is, I hate it.
