Waking up is the hardest thing

[trulyfeelhopeless]

Every day waking up is pure hell. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. It's like I go to work, make it thru the day and come home to sleep just to do it all over again. I want to jump out of my skin.

 

[Someone123]

Every day waking up is pure hell. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. It's like I go to work, make it thru the day and come home to sleep just to do it all over again. I want to jump out of my skin.

Yes, I know what you mean, especially since I so often half wake up and I am still in a dream where I think I am back in time bunch of years and I still have a chance to fix my life- then I wake up al the way up and I realize that it's way too late- this happens a lot. Unlike you, though, I would wish this on my worst enemies (including especially my parents, who are gone) plus certain other people who were deliberately mean to me over a long period of time. If I just had a halfway decent chance at life it would have turned out so much better- I was close at times to figuring out what I needed to do, but it's too late now.

 

[StarryStarry]

Every day waking up is pure hell. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. It's like I go to work, make it thru the day and come home to sleep just to do it all over again. I want to jump out of my skin.

I understand exactly how you feel. I am unemployed so I wake up and it's so depressing, I wish I could die in my sleep, but I want to be cremated in another state, so that is really the only thing keeping me going. Soon - very soon.

 

[Its like that]

Im actually losing my employment because of my ill health. Job for 17 years, and now 4 years of putrid insomnia have ruined my mental health and my body. The nightmare broke me psychologically and im still going through it. I tried everything from meditation to meds. After years of suffering i now have major depression that comes along with insomnia. That along with wanting to gut myself every sleepless night. I wanted to be one of those people who overtook over the counter sedatives and drift away. I still want that cheap and effective route, but so far, my body aint havin it. I just lay there like im pillin hoping to go. I must need way more anti histamine for it to work. Cant believe people actually went that way. Shorter version of N.
When everyone around you from family to work colleagues and exes see you deteriorate day by day that shit is awful. Makes me wanna die instead of watching this horrific tale play out long term. Everyone else goes on happily while i just seem pathetic in comparison. If i had N, id go.

 

[trulyfeelhopeless]

Yes, I know what you mean, especially since I so often half wake up and I am still in a dream where I think I am back in time bunch of years and I still have a chance to fix my life- then I wake up al the way up and I realize that it's way too late- this happens a lot. Unlike you, though, I would wish this on my worst enemies (including especially my parents, who are gone) plus certain other people who were deliberately mean to me over a long period of time. If I just had a halfway decent chance at life it would have turned out so much better- I was close at times to figuring out what I needed to do, but it's too late now.

I know that feeling that groggy sense of okay I'm alright and then boom nope it's another day of this so called life we have. I'm sorry they were bad to you, no one deserves that and especially not from their parents. I wish we could just press reset and start over

I understand exactly how you feel. I am unemployed so I wake up and it's so depressing, I wish I could die in my sleep, but I want to be cremated in another state, so that is really the only thing keeping me going. Soon - very soon.

I only took the job I have out of desperation bc I lost my other job bc my mom was sick and I took time off to care for her. I'm sorry you're unemployed right now, money makes everything worse and as crazy as it sounds I only keep my job bc I need the money to figure out how to ctb soon, what state are you choosing? Sending hugs

Im actually losing my employment because of my ill health. Job for 17 years, and now 4 years of putrid insomnia have ruined my mental health and my body. The nightmare broke me psychologically and im still going through it. I tried everything from meditation to meds. After years of suffering i now have major depression that comes along with insomnia. That along with wanting to gut myself every sleepless night. I wanted to be one of those people who overtook over the counter sedatives and drift away. I still want that cheap and effective route, but so far, my body aint havin it. I just lay there like im pillin hoping to go. I must need way more anti histamine for it to work. Cant believe people actually went that way. Shorter version of N.
When everyone around you from family to work colleagues and exes see you deteriorate day by day that shit is awful. Makes me wanna die instead of watching this horrific tale play out long term. Everyone else goes on happily while i just seem pathetic in comparison. If i had N, id go.

I'm sorry you're losing your job, ppl just don't understand mental health and how impt it is for well being overall and especially to not feel like how you and I and all these other souls do on this site. Side note- they need to give you severance pay, 17 years oh hell no, you deserve it and you shouldn't have o worry about money when you feel like this. I was gonna try the otc sedative route too but they say it just doesn't work they make the meds less volatile ugh, I would rather do n bc it's guaranteed but can't secure it from anywhere without anxiety that's it's fake or a scam. And I completely agree that's the worst having evyrone around you watch you slowly waste away mentally physically emotionally, I'm right there with you :hugs:

 

[FuneralCry]

I hate waking up, it is a dreadful feeling waking up to another day of suffering. I long for an eternal, dreamless sleep. It sounds so peaceful to never have to experience anything ever again.

 

[Myl]

Waking up is the reason I dread going to sleep now.
I hate it because its a constant reminder that I'm stuck here in this daily cycle of being alive and there's no way out for me right now.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Yes, I know what you mean, especially since I so often half wake up and I am still in a dream where I think I am back in time bunch of years and I still have a chance to fix my life- then I wake up al the way up and I realize that it's way too late- this happens a lot. Unlike you, though, I would wish this on my worst enemies (including especially my parents, who are gone) plus certain other people who were deliberately mean to me over a long period of time. If I just had a halfway decent chance at life it would have turned out so much better- I was close at times to figuring out what I needed to do, but it's too late now.

Yeah, in my dreams I am back in my normal life of before and everything is relatively OK… And then I wake up…

 

[Someone123]

Yeah, in my dreams I am back in my normal life of before and everything is relatively OK… And then I wake up…

This happens so often, it is tough, becasue sleep is my only escape really this can happen several times a day.

 

[trulyfeelhopeless]

I hate waking up, it is a dreadful feeling waking up to another day of suffering. I long for an eternal, dreamless sleep. It sounds so peaceful to never have to experience anything ever again.

You took the words right out of my mouth, to escape feeling every single thing w anxiety, every single thought