Thank you. Yes, that seems like a better position than standing and kneeling. How would I calculate how far the rope needs to be off the ground if I am 5'11 (180.34cm)?
I have a feeling I wouldn't pass out within seconds from full suspension. I have tried, but it just rips into my stern muscles because they are so tight. My sweet spot is under my Adam's apple, and putting is there during full suspension seems difficult?
The sweet spot is actually at the top of your neck, just under the jaw - it's called the carotid sinus nerve and although I'm not a doctor, everything I've read, which includes some medical journals, points to the carotid sinus nerve as to what is primarily responsible for immediate loss of consciousness.
With full suspension, it's not going to matter - as once you are fully suspended, the rope is going to ride to the top of the neck anyways. So it seems to me, it would be better to start out with the rope at the top of your neck.
I completely understand being hesitant though. While it seems that most people lose consciousness right away, there are some who do not. And the thought of hanging there choking and panicking discourages me from using this method. Full suspension is my backup plan though - I guess I'll just need to get to that point where I grit my teeth and say fuck it! and go for it.
My own wife died from full suspension. I woke up in the morning to find her hanging by an extension cord, which wasn't tied in a noose or anything - she simply wrapped the cord around her neck several times and then put duct tape over it. When I found her, her body looked completely normal - no bulged out eyes or discoloration - she just looked like she was sleeping. While I didn't witness it, she hung herself right next to an end table that had a lamp on it, and that lamp was just an inch or 2 away from her arm. Had she struggled, or panicked, there is no question the lamp would've been knocked over.
I just hate this in-between grey area of existing, desperately not wanting to, and not having a viable and peaceful way to CTB.
I really don't care to watch the videos, as I'm worried I will see something that will highly discourage me. Are the hanging videos of people suffering or something?