Waking up everyday with anxiety

[golgappa]

I wake up with my body shaking, like everyday for last 3 months now , I cry before I sleep, just scared all day , been kinda abusing anxiety pills but no matter how many I take after an hr the stress comes back...I am scared no matter how much I pray God won't listen it just keeps getting worse.

For years all I asked was for to be happy, just happiness and that's the thing I don't have it never lasts for more than few weeks for me and by happiness I mean not have anxiety and be able to live like a normal human being.

Even though ik everyone I care about won't care if I am gone except my parents those are the only people I should think about but I really just can't take it anymore even for there sake ..maybe I can idk sometimes I wonder if I am dead will those people who hurt me care? Feel sorry? Idk if I want them too..maybe kind of but in the end only people who will remember me is my parents not those people who hurt me so should I even care? They will think for like 2 days? Or an hr max idk tbh

Idk I just wish to be OK if there is still a chance

 

[Praestat_Mori]

It sounds so distressing what you have to go through. have you considered professional help? Therapy? Idk what you can do about anxiety. Do you have any prescription meds to treat it?

 

[golgappa]

It sounds so distressing what you have to go through. have you considered professional help? Therapy? Idk what you can do about anxiety. Do you have any prescription meds to treat it?

I have had 3 doctor and all the treatment was continuous for 2 years than I stopped cause I saw no improvement and my body just getting worse cause of those pills ...and yea I have prescribed medicine don't usually take it but been taking alot one after another cause I need to focus but my mind is continuously thinking I will fail , not worth trying, those thoughts again and again

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I have had 3 doctor and all the treatment was continuous for 2 years than I stopped cause I saw no improvement and my body just getting worse cause of those pills ...and yea I have prescribed medicine don't usually take it but been taking alot one after another cause I need to focus but my mind is continuously thinking I will fail , not worth trying, those thoughts again and again

Did you ever really fail in life or it's just a thought that you could fail in life?

Idk how to treat this kind of fear/anxiety. Imo it must have a deeper reason why you think this way.

 

[golgappa]

Did you ever really fail in life or it's just a thought that you could fail in life?

Idk how to treat this kind of fear/anxiety. Imo it must have a deeper reason why you think this way.

In my eye's I have failed and ik I am near it..no one else believes me cause they are not in my shoes..ik when I am doing good ...idk how to treat it either it hurts more to see everyday pass by with no progress and as it goes by my thoughts are working even more against me which is not helping I tried reaching out 2 times my therapist cancelled the appointment 2 times I am not even willing to try third time rather not waste money it is what it is there is no fix anyway it's just cope

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really dreadful to me, it sounds like you've suffered a lot, I see it as so cruel how there's all this suffering in existing, but anyway I wish you the best, I hope that you find the relief you search for.