Waiting my death...need support here...

[Defenestration]

while waiting for my death... I would like some support here...

I spent my entire day sending messages to people I had met throughout my life to thank them, to pay them compliments (people I liked). of course I didn't say that I was going to CTB but I love being kind, it's my nature...

my letter for my departure parents is done. everything is ready in short I think the ctb will be next week I don't know when... it doesn't depend on me...

It's extremely narcissistic and selfish and maybe it won't work given all the topics there are but I would like this topic to be fed with a common thread until my death.

Ok Can you help me, speak with me until m'y death...juste Say me few words...

Big thanks

 

[hikikomorizombie]

i'm not sure what you'd like to discuss, so i'll just leave my fav quote pertaining to death. 'from my rotting body, flowers shall grow & i am in them, & that is eternity.'-Edvard Munch.

maybe i'll add more as time goes on :)

 

[Defenestration]

Just like a diary

 

[puffyclouds]

I'm catching the bus tomorrow. I tried to make myself as comfortable as possible in my last few days. If you're serious about what your decision is, you'll feel comfortable spending whatever money you may have (if you have any) to enjoying any small comforts you may need. It can be your favourite meal, your favourite shows, movies. I pretended I was terminally ill (in a way, I am), and just treated myself like a person dying of natural causes. I hope this helps you.

 

[Life_and_Death]

im not exactly sure what "help" youre looking for as doing so much is against the rules (we cant encourage you to continue). but i hope it's peaceful for you and brings you relief from any suffering you may be experiencing.

and always remember you can change your mind at any point. you can have a second chance at death. you cant come back from death and try life again however

 

[Defenestration]

im not exactly sure what "help" youre looking for as doing so much is against the rules (we cant encourage you to continue). but i hope it's peaceful for you and brings you relief from any suffering you may be experiencing.

and always remember you can change your mind at any point. you can have a second chance at death. you cant come back from death and try life again however

On june 2023 already Come back because SI (im a jumper)

Je prends le bus demain. J'ai essayé de me mettre le plus à l'aise possible ces derniers jours. Si vous êtes sérieux quant à votre décision, vous vous sentirez à l'aise de dépenser tout l'argent dont vous disposez (si vous en avez) pour profiter du petit confort dont vous pourriez avoir besoin. Il peut s'agir de votre repas préféré, de vos émissions ou films préférés. J'ai fait semblant d'être en phase terminale (d'une certaine manière, je le suis) et je me suis simplement traité comme une personne mourant de causes naturelles. J'espère que ceci vous aide.

think of you tomorrow

 

[▪︎⚠ ＫＯＨＩ ⚠▪︎]

Very nice of you of texting people around you, I would as well but it also may be seen as very hypocritical of me.

Make sure to treat yourself no matter if you do or don't CTB, it may make you feel a little better and handle things easily with a clearer mind.
Don't stress.

I hope you get to enjoy this days before you leave so you don't go with a bitter taste and find yourself the peace you were looking for.

 

[firepunch]

I don't know what to discuss about either.
I've been dealing with suicidal thoughts for quite some time now and the only thing I could do to cope was to get a step back from myself. I focused on art, phylosophical works or things like that, so now I feel like I don't get to think by myself.

What I can share are some poems I really like from Charles Baudelaire, a French poet. You may know him, or you may not. He is known for "turning mud into gold", which mean to turn ugly things to poetic topics. For instance, he romanticized a corpse decomposing which was quite controversial and new for his time. The Church made sure to censor his works so they were published years after his death.

My favorite poem of his is the longest he ever wrote : "Benediction".
He embodies a poet blessed by God, which is a common idea in Poetry, but then cursed by humans.
My favorite quote is :

«Towards Heaven, where his eye sights a splendid throne,
The serene Poet raises his pious arms,
And the vast inspired-flashes of his lucid mind
Thieve him of the sight of the furious mass :

"Be blessed, my God, who provide suffering
As a divine remedy for our impurities
And as the best and the purest essence
That prepares the strong for holy delights!»

I once cried in the middle of the class when I read this extract.
I don't know why those lines strike me, I don't even believe in God.
I think I found it beautiful to feel as if my suffering had a meaning, and was in reality a blessing more than a curse. Baudelaire turned suffering into something special, into something we shouldn't be ashamed of. We should embrace our condition and get stronger.

If you're interested into more Baudelaire's work I would recommend his most famous poem :

"Get drunk !
You have to be always drunk. That's all there is to it—it's the only way. So as not to feel the horrible burden of time that breaks your back and bends you to the earth, you have to be continually drunk.

But on what? Wine, poetry or virtue, as you wish. But be drunk.

And if sometimes, on the steps of a palace or the green grass of a ditch, in the mournful solitude of your room, you wake again, drunkenness already diminishing or gone, ask the wind, the wave, the star, the bird, the clock, everything that is flying, everything that is groaning, everything that is rolling, everything that is singing, everything that is speaking. . .ask what time it is and wind, wave, star, bird, clock will answer you: "It is time to be drunk! So as not to be the martyred slaves of time, be drunk, be continually drunk! On wine, on poetry or on virtue as you wish."

I'm not alcoholic, but I also really like this one. I think Baudelaire's poems have the same result as wine too ! I always feel delighted.

I hope I shared something interesting enough. Have a good one and I wish you the best for your last days on earth.
Maybe you'll be granted the "holy delights" too, who knows ? ;)

 

[Defenestration]

The SI IS very hard for a jumper
alcohol protects a little the muscles and human organs I read...I would like to drink but it can make the jump fail...

even if it's from 60 meters that I can fall hard from the grass it's hard to aim... I think benzos or opiates relax the body also :-S


. I recently saw a video of a drunk Russian falling from the 19th floor onto a car and who survived and even got up again

Very nice of you of texting people around you, I would as well but it also may be seen as very hypocritical of me.

Make sure to treat yourself no matter if you do or don't CTB, it may make you feel a little better and handle things easily with a clearer mind.
Don't stress.

I hope you get to enjoy this days before you leave so you don't go with a bitter taste and find yourself the peace you were looking for.

Not hypocrite just im a nice Guy

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I'm not good with words at all but I hope that you find peace soon. Dying is scary for sure but, whatever you do, I wish you the best of luck

 

[Gonnerr]

Good luck , i hope you find peace and strenght.

 

[Defenestration]

Thanks for your words

 

[Defenestration]

Up. It will be thursday 29...
I have afraid....

 

[Defenestration]

I would like someone to be there with me on Thursday by personal message...to comfort me

 

[Dliena]

I can't really say much but I am wishing you eternal peace OP. You definitely deserve it.

 

[SVEN]

I hope you achieve all your wishes and things go well with you. I guess as the days pass, more quickly than perhaps you imagined, the mixed feelings of apprehension and longing for peace will conflict.
I wish you peace and tranquillity, whatever happens.

 

[Defenestration]

My sister has bad food poisoning. I'm staying with her with my parents for this moment...I can't kill myself on Thursday if she's still sick...

I hâte this world