First off I noticed your profile says "Please excuse any tone misunderstandings", and assuming your referring to the fact that English isn't your first language, I must say your English is fantastic for it not being your first language. You type with better grammar and punctuation than I do lol. I clearly understood what you've been saying so far so you're doing great!
Second off, I am so sorry. Reading posts/comments like these are particularly heartbreaking to me because they serve as quiet reminders to myself that a lot of people have it WAY harder than I do such as yourself. I live in the USA, and here although there is still a huge emphasis on going to college or getting a job; there isn't nearly as much social pressure/shame tied to failures in those sectors in the US the way it is in other countries. In the USA it's socially acceptable/okay to take a few years between high school and actually going to college (in America we refer to these years as "gap years"), drop out of college, switch careers, not go to college at all and do trades, etc. It seems in other countries those types of things are looked down upon to the point where you'll be disowned by your entire family over it and it breaks my heart because honestly I find myself getting worked up/anxious within my current academic system at an American college but then I just think about people like yourself who have it so much harder and it really puts things into perspective.
I certainly agree that international schools are a great option. Such a shame that it costs so much sadly. I remember in high school (I was born and raised in the USA) I had a few attendees within my classes that were from other countries like South Korea or China. One thing that stuck out to me was during a conversation with one of them (me and him spoke via a translator) I asked something amongst the lines of "Do you prefer American school or School back home?". Now, I'm paraphrasing everything at this point as this conversation was well over seven years old. But he typed out a response something very brief like "American, because I am actually happy here" (for context he lived in south korea and had previously dealt with the rigorous system that is the south korean education system). I followed up with something like "Don't you miss your family though?" and he responded with "Yes but I don't get to do what you guys do here back home and ill miss that when I leave". It really put things into perspective for me in terms of just how much more strict other countries are when it comes to home life, schooling, and getting a job. In America, it's generally socially acceptable as a mother or father to be okay with your child not going to college, going to trade school instead, going to college but dropping out, etc. However, in other countries, if you do any of those things you might be seen as an outcast and treated by such by everyone around you including family and NOBODY deserves that type of shame. It's okay to relax and take a break sometimes. It's okay to go to college and realize maybe it's not for you. Hell, maybe you realize it's not college itself but just that specific program wasn't for you. It's okay to take your own path is the point I'm trying to make. You should never feel forced to fall in line. We're all unique and are all bound to go on different paths. Our brains weren't built for 24/7 output with no rest but for some reason we're still treated as such. It's sad.
I deeply sympathize with you. You really don't deserve it. If it means anything hearing it from a stranger: You ARE absolutely worth it and worth WAY more than whatever grade you get on any future exam or assignment. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, and I'm proud of you. I hope you, and many others that are in positions very similar to yours, can find a way to leave China, or whatever system/country they feel stuck within, and find a better system that more appropriately suits you/them. Best of luck to you my friend. I wish you nothing but a hopeful and positive future.
www.gorecenter.com
