Method Very desperate please help

[sellfish]

Ok, hear me out, I think this is my 5th post about this. I just really need some advice, this forum is all I have left, I need your help
I am currently studying abroad and I live in a student accomodation.
My date to ctb is the day after tomorrow.
I will tell you my method again and the problems and anxiety I have regarding this.
I am definitely, 100% ready and prepared to do this. I have about 3 days maximum until my dad will notice I am not answering my phone/texts and he will ask the reception to check on me. If I survive I cannot put into words how bad my life will be.
My plan is to take an antiemetic, wait an hour. Start drinking whiskey+coke slowly until I almost finish the bottle, avoiding throwing up. Start filling the tub with water. get in my bathing suit
then I would take 30 pills of diazepam (300mg total), lock the bathroom door -!; get in the bathtub. very quickly after I would gulp a full bottle of 250ml of ghb mixed with a bit of cola zero. I would then sit facing down with my legs locked until I become unconcious and my head falls underwater. My idea is that I would die of cardiac arrest from the big dose of CNS depressants or drowning while unconcious. I dont see how I could be able to get up for air in this state. However I am scared of the possiblity that I would throw up in the water or just somehow survive? After two days of laying there would I still be alive? Nobody would be looking for me as I speak to my parents once every three days or so. I need to know all the possible ways I could survive this so I can avoid that.
I am begging you, I am just a few days away, I haven't slept in a week and the only thing keeping me is not having enough information about the possibilies. Please consider the drugs that I mentioned and their amounts.
I also have a backup that if a bit more inconvenient. That would be taking what I mentioned in a very abandoned park where no one could probably ever find me unless I woke up on my own, but this excludes the drowning part and if I died my parents would never find my body, and if I didnt I still wouldnt be able to explain where I went missing.
Pleeeaseee help a desperate human out. There is nothing I have left besides this forum.
anyone?
anyone?

 

[Otter]

Ok, hear me out, I think this is my 5th post about this. I just really need some advice, this forum is all I have left, I need your help
I am currently studying abroad and I live in a student accomodation.
My date to ctb is the day after tomorrow.
I will tell you my method again and the problems and anxiety I have regarding this.
I am definitely, 100% ready and prepared to do this. I have about 3 days maximum until my dad will notice I am not answering my phone/texts and he will ask the reception to check on me. If I survive I cannot put into words how bad my life will be. I absolutely need this to work and if it doesn't they must not find out that I attempted.
My plan is to take an antiemetic, wait an hour. Start drinking whiskey+coke slowly until I almost finish the bottle, avoiding throwing up. Start filling the tub with water. get in my bathing suit
then I would take 30 pills of diazepam (300mg total), lock the bathroom door -!; get in the bathtub. very quickly after I would gulp a full bottle of 250ml of ghb mixed with a bit of cola zero. I would then sit facing down with my legs locked until I become unconcious and my head falls underwater. My idea is that I would die of cardiac arrest from the big dose of CNS depressants or drowning while unconcious. I dont see how I could be able to get up for air in this state. However I am scared of the possiblity that I would throw up in the water or just somehow survive? After two days of laying there would I still be alive? Nobody would be looking for me as I speak to my parents once every three days or so. I need to know all the possible ways I could survive this so I can avoid that.
I am begging you, I am just a few days away, I haven't slept in a week and the only thing keeping me is not having enough information about the possibilies. Please consider the drugs that I mentioned and their amounts.
I also have a backup that if a bit more inconvenient. That would be taking what I mentioned in a very abandoned park where no one could probably ever find me unless I woke up on my own, but this excludes the drowning part and if I died my parents would never find my body, and if I didnt I still wouldnt be able to explain where I went missing.
Pleeeaseee help a desperate human out. There is nothing I have left besides this forum.
There is a lot more I can say, my mind is racing and I can't function anymore, the only thing I have been doing for the past weeks is read the same websites and threads about ghb, or drowning, or diazepam and alcohol, cardiac arest, death statistics, but nothing that fits my plan, nothing about large doses, and nothing about this combination. I am going mad reading the same content just to reassure myself but it doesnt work. I need someone to take into consideration everything I said, pretty please

There is nothing one can say to ease your mind that this is foolproof. People probably are not responding for the same reason there is no literature for you to find. No one knows the answer.
I am so sorry you're in this situation and feel so helpless. Most of us completely understand, but we don't have any answers. I wish there was a way to give you some comfort through my words, and I would so do that. Please think everything through completely and best wishes

 

[SuicideBoys93]

Your stomach is a champ if you don't throw it up prior to you passing out. When I had my surgeries I was given diazepam, and it creeped up on me fairly quick prior to being sedated. I couldn't even imagine 30 diazepam. Then a whole bottle of whisky, and GHB? 250ml is alot. You would have to get moving quick, and fill the tub prior. You may not be coherent enough to wait for it to fill. I literally can't picture your body not throwing that up.

 

[Pan]

Unfortunately, the likelihood of success with your plan is, sadly, slim. The best way to exit is with full suspension mode hanging. This can be done quite easily with something as thin as a computer cord. Avoid partial hanging; it works but rarely. You will black out in seconds, and be dead in minutes. It is vital however that you not be interrupted for at least two hours. Death is a virtual certainty.

 

[Dead beat dad]

Hello brother, I'm so sad to read about your plans. If you're feeling alone and want to talk I am here for you. I honestly have no chemical or pharmaceutical knowledge that will help with your proposed mix other than to say having tried various combinations of booze and pills and being filled with despair as others have said you may struggle to keep this down.
Honestly my brother I hope that you can find a way to be at peace but please be kind on yourself and don't act in haste.
Love and respect
DBD

 

[sellfish]

anyone have other opinions on the chances of survival? how exactly could i survive this? i just dont get it

 

[MsMaudlin]

Honestly, no one knows.

You seems to be grasping at straws a bit (please don't be offended)

Your methods might work, or they might not. Putting all that into your stomach seems a recipe for vomiting and failure.

Can you access SN? Whereabouts in the world are you?

❤

 

[max6802]

maybe try the hanging method. You'll pass out in like 15 seconds ish and die peacefully

 

[sellfish]

Honestly, no one knows.

You seems to be grasping at straws a bit (please don't be offended)

Your methods might work, or they might not. Putting all that into your stomach seems a recipe for vomiting and failure.

Can you access SN? Whereabouts in the world are you?

❤

Would vomiting result in failure?

I tried getting SN of ebay but I got scammed twice. I also need to do this no later than tuesday so there is no more time.
I was thinking maybe vomiting would result in choking and asphyxsiation. And even if I did vomit a little, I think such a huge dose of CNS depresants would have to make my breathing and heart stop, no?

maybe try the hanging method. You'll pass out in like 15 seconds ish and die peacefully

I don't have any place to hang, I also tried once and I can't manage to get the positioning right

 

[WEASEL1234]

Would vomiting result in failure?

I tried getting SN of ebay but I got scammed twice. I also need to do this no later than tuesday so there is no more time.
I was thinking maybe vomiting would result in choking and asphyxsiation. And even if I did vomit a little, I think such a huge dose of CNS depresants would have to make my breathing and heart stop, no?


I don't have any place to hang, I also tried once and I can't manage to get the positioning right

It sounds to me that this would likely fail. Your body's SI is strong. Firstly you WILL vomit and secondly your survival instinct will kick in when it water. Very slim chance of you succeeding.

 

[Soul]

@sellfish sweetheart, it's like the good @Otter and others say: This is so experimental there's no way for anyone to know whether it'll be successful.

I don't know how much whiskey you picture drinking, or how accustomed you are to drinking that much, but finishing a bottle without puking and passing out would be way beyond my own capacity, especially with cola involved.

Adding a dense concoction of cola+drugs doesn't seem plausible to me; I wouldn't be able to get it down without my body reacting vehemently.

I don't understand where in the process I'd be capable of drawing a warm bath and getting in it.

I'm not familiar with GHB and have no way to guess how it might affect me.

I'm sorry you're contemplating this. Your desperation makes me ache for you. I don't know how to help you other than to point out the problems I would have with what you propose and to offer you comforting ((hugs)).

It's your decision. I hope you'll wait and work out some other approach, but if you're determined to try this ... I hope it doesn't do you bad harm, and that you somehow find the relief you deserve x

 

[sellfish]

Honestly, no one knows.

You seems to be grasping at straws a bit (please don't be offended)

Your methods might work, or they might not. Putting all that into your stomach seems a recipe for vomiting and failure.

Can you access SN? Whereabouts in the world are you?

❤

I managed to order some SN, hope it actually comes through, Im still not sure how full proof the SN method is

 

[MsMaudlin]

I managed to order some SN, hope it actually comes through, Im still not sure how full proof the SN method is

I'm going to be using SN, I have absolute faith in it working.

Try and get some meto as well for your stomach.

Are you going to be doing the 48 hour regimen or the stat dose?

❤

 

[WEASEL1234]

I managed to order some SN, hope it actually comes through, Im still not sure how full proof the SN method is

More foolproof than the original method you were considering.

 

[sellfish]

I'm going to be using SN, I have absolute faith in it working.

Try and get some meto as well for your stomach.

Are you going to be doing the 48 hour regimen or the stat dose?

❤

I was thinking stat dose, is one better than the other?

 

[Pan]

A word about shrinks too; I was in so-called psychoanalytically oriented psychotherapy. Those were the days. Before Prozac, Xanax, etc. etc. etc. after the so-called transference process, it was shrink who had a problem letting go! What a waste! I have gotten more out of s.s. than I got in years of psychotherapy!

 

[Pan]

You mentioned, Otter, that you are pretty desperate; you can hang with me at m home in Massachusetts. While I acknowledge that you May or may not be ready for ctb. I would like, ideally to hang with a companion. You may not; that is your right, either way. I plan on spring. I should tell you that I am of bisexual persuasion but won't be interested. Please get back to me ASAP.

 

[MsMaudlin]

I was thinking stat dose, is one better than the other?

I don't think one is better than the other x

 

[Otter]

You mentioned, Otter, that you are pretty desperate; you can hang with me at m home in Massachusetts. While I acknowledge that you May or may not be ready for ctb. I would like, ideally to hang with a companion. You may not; that is your right, either way. I plan on spring. I should tell you that I am of bisexual persuasion but won't be interested. Please get back to me ASAP.

I think you might be confusing me with someone else, maybe "Sellfish"?

 

[Pan]

I think I must be. Sorry 'bout that. It was a good communicating with you nevertheless. Even though I joined approx. 1219, I still make a newbie's mistakes. Best you in your in your struggling.

 

[Otter]

I think I must be. Sorry 'bout that. It was a good communicating with you nevertheless. Even though I joined approx. 1219, I still make a newbie's mistakes. Best you in your in your struggling.

hey, no problem. the format of these forums it's hard to follow sometimes. This is the first Forum I have ever signed up for and it gets very confusing. I am a newbie as well. See you around!

 

[Pan]

Hello brother, I'm so sad to read about your plans. If you're feeling alone and want to talk I am here for you. I honestly have no chemical or pharmaceutical knowledge that will help with your proposed mix other than to say having tried various combinations of booze and pills and being filled with despair as others have said you may struggle to keep this down.
Honestly my brother I hope that you can find a way to be at peace but please be kind on yourself and don't act in haste.
Love and respect
DBD

You summed it up perfectly. I get confused regarding this site, as in who I am replying to. It gets bewildering I must say. Thanx for calling me "brother"; that simple word may not work magic, but I know there are folks out there who understand. Thanx again, brother. I have offered my home as a sanctuary for those who need to ctb as I am. Know, friend, that this applies to you as well. For the time of have left, know that my door is always OPEN. I don't offer a solution, only a way station. Knowing that I am doing this for others sends up good karma, the better to ctb knowing that I have given respite to others.

 

[Pan]

Remember: it is tough being a so-called deadbeat dad; either you pay up or you are definitively screwed. I am not a dead beat dad (thank karma). But I do know that dads get the short end of the stick. I was a stepdad and there wasn't a moment where I can honestly say I loved my stepdaughter—-she was a spoiled narcissistic brat who caused a breakdown in my dear wife. Spoiled and resentful to the hilt is putting it mildly. I am fed up to the teeth with the victimization of men, as if being a man somehow makes you innately guilty. It definitively sucks. Know that my door, friend, is always open to you.