Venting: Not everyone can just "leave"

[Water-Lily]

I'm venting because I just dont want to vent anywhere else

I rally, really wish I could move out of my "home"

It barely is even a home. More like an abuse warzone

My asshole brother is fuming and raging at everyone, my dad is fed up and constantly wishes bad things on him and wants to kick him out at 18, and I'm here wishing it was all over

Even though I have my job coming up and a future prospect of moving out with some help from dad, it doesnt change that I dont have anywhere to go now

I dont think I'd want to go to a shelter or DV agency. Feels like it'd be a headache to deal with the process/papers, etc. Nor do I have any frineds/family I feel safe with to move in with

Then theres the people who, whenever I vent, say "well just get out" or "why didnt you leave sooner" or "its your fault" or "you gotta find a way to get out"

Its made me distance myself from people who say those well meaning, but harmful comments

 

[The anhedonic one]

It's dreadful being trapped in that kind of situation. I was trapped with evil parents and it drove me nuts. I just kept all interactions with them to an absolute minimum. Yet, like you say, moving out is incredibly difficult and definitely not as easy as people say. Especially when you don't really have a support network.

But at least you will soon have a job to go to and help moving out from your Dad. At least you will soon have the option to go. It's definitely something to look forward too, even though it may seem so far away right now.

 

[Water-Lily]

It's dreadful being trapped in that kind of situation. I was trapped with evil parents and it drove me nuts. I just kept all interactions with them to an absolute minimum. Yet, like you say, moving out is incredibly difficult and definitely not as easy as people say. Especially when you don't really have a support network.

But at least you will soon have a job to go to and help moving out from your Dad. At least you will soon have the option to go. It's definitely something to look forward too, even though it may seem so far away right now.

I'm glad you get it. The amount of "kind" words I get from friends who simply don't get it, has me now distancing myself from them

They might care, but they simply dont get it and never will. so I am not going to bother anymore

In my case I'm 25 and has been struggling to get and maintain a job (and I have tried) so I am very excited about this one

Even though my dad is the one who contributed to my trauma issues (and is just problematic in general) I do feel good that he is committed to getting me my own place. He's even talked about wanting therapy (but he has to choose it for himself). He also respects my privacy which also helps. I just try to avoid my brother (who just says verbally abusive shit) and I distance myself from relatives because they are problematic too

I take it you've already left? What has the process been like for you

 

[The anhedonic one]

I'm glad you get it. The amount of "kind" words I get from friends who simply don't get it, has me now distancing myself from them

They might care, but they simply dont get it and never will. so I am not going to bother anymore

In my case I'm 25 and has been struggling to get and maintain a job (and I have tried) so I am very excited about this one

Even though my dad is the one who contributed to my trauma issues (and is just problematic in general) I do feel good that he is committed to getting me my own place. He's even talked about wanting therapy (but he has to choose it for himself). He also respects my privacy which also helps. I just try to avoid my brother (who just says verbally abusive shit) and I distance myself from relatives because they are problematic too

I take it you've already left? What has the process been like for you

I left a long time ago, and just ran away on my 16th birthday. It was such a monumental relief to finally be free.
I'm glad your Dad is supportive of you, even though He wasn't very nice to you at times.

 

[Water-Lily]

I left a long time ago, and just ran away on my 16th birthday. It was such a monumental relief to finally be free.
I'm glad your Dad is supportive of you, even though He wasn't very nice to you at times.

Yeah. he tells me often that he knows I deserve better and he wants me out so I can be happy

Though I am sure once I'm out, well, they say you hate your parents more once you move out because you realize how shitty things were. So maybe this is just me temporarily depending on him till I eventually kick him to the curb

I'm glad you managed to escape. I hope the freedom from your abusers helps in any way

Do you still think about suicide? I do, and I want to always have the option to die with me as I've suffered more than enough trauma

 

[The anhedonic one]

Yes

Yeah. he tells me often that he knows I deserve better and he wants me out so I can be happy

Though I am sure once I'm out, well, they say you hate your parents more once you move out because you realize how shitty things were. So maybe this is just me temporarily depending on him till I eventually kick him to the curb

I'm glad you managed to escape. I hope the freedom from your abusers helps in any way

Do you still think about suicide? I do, and I want to always have the option to die with me as I've suffered more than enough trauma

Yes, suicide is on my mind all the time now. It's the only thing that brings me comfort .

 

[Water-Lily]

Yes

Yes, suicide is on my mind all the time now. It's the only thing that brings me comfort .

Same. Since my melt down I've been absent from social media. I check in but, I dont talk to anyone

I'm realizing that people can care, but not everyone can understand. People who dont know what abuse is like, cant properly understand and help abuse victims. I don't feel comfortable or safe to confide in people I used to like a lot. Not their fault, I just can't do it anymore :/

 

[Lulzacruel]

sounds like a very difficult situation to get medical help for. if you really don't have any other choice, then i guess that CTB is your only option.

if you can get out my only advice is to go no-contact

 

[Water-Lily]

sounds like a very difficult situation to get medical help for. if you really don't have any other choice, then i guess that CTB is your only option.

if you can get out my only advice is to go no-contact

I mean I dont want ctb to be my only option

I do see myself eventually going no contact. Not rn tho obviously

 

[The anhedonic one]

Same. Since my melt down I've been absent from social media. I check in but, I dont talk to anyone

I'm realizing that people can care, but not everyone can understand. People who dont know what abuse is like, cant properly understand and help abuse victims. I don't feel comfortable or safe to confide in people I used to like a lot. Not their fault, I just can't do it anymore :/

Yes, it's a terrible thing to finally realise that we are on our own as regards being understood. Even the most highly trained therapists will never know our pain unless they have walked in our shoes.