ForeverCaHa
Heartbroken Welshman
- Feb 16, 2025
- 442
I'm now entering what - if my plan succeeds - should be my final week. I feel a weird sense of calmness with everything. I can only hope I can stay this calm when the time comes.
Yesterday or the day before, maybe longer than that (time is still a blur, ever since that horrible day) I went through the bags from my old flat one last time. I knew what I was looking for: an anniversary card my partner had written for me, and a polaroid of the two of us. Neither were there. The only realistic reason is that his parents have either taken or destroyed them. I don't know why they would want to keep such things (the card was addressed to me, and I don't know why they'd want a photo of me), so in my heart of hearts I fear they simply threw them in the bin.
One thing I did find was a little plastic otter. As you can tell from my profile picture, otters are one of my favourite animals. My partner and I would always share photos of them with each other, we had planned to go to an otter sanctuary this year... I don't know why we were so obsessed with them, but we were! He got this little toy otter from a capsule machine in Osaka. He had the location pinned on his phone map because he really wanted to get one. When we got back to the UK he put it in a flower pot with an orchid he bought me for my birthday last year. I haven't let go of the toy since I found it. I carry it with me everywhere.
Last night I was downstairs making a cup of coffee when I saw my mum's cat staring into the dark corridor. I don't know why, but I was certain he would be stood there when I looked. Of course, he wasn't. I still expect to see him when I turn a corner or look out the window or hear a knock at the door.
I can't put into words just how much I miss him.
Yesterday or the day before, maybe longer than that (time is still a blur, ever since that horrible day) I went through the bags from my old flat one last time. I knew what I was looking for: an anniversary card my partner had written for me, and a polaroid of the two of us. Neither were there. The only realistic reason is that his parents have either taken or destroyed them. I don't know why they would want to keep such things (the card was addressed to me, and I don't know why they'd want a photo of me), so in my heart of hearts I fear they simply threw them in the bin.
One thing I did find was a little plastic otter. As you can tell from my profile picture, otters are one of my favourite animals. My partner and I would always share photos of them with each other, we had planned to go to an otter sanctuary this year... I don't know why we were so obsessed with them, but we were! He got this little toy otter from a capsule machine in Osaka. He had the location pinned on his phone map because he really wanted to get one. When we got back to the UK he put it in a flower pot with an orchid he bought me for my birthday last year. I haven't let go of the toy since I found it. I carry it with me everywhere.
Last night I was downstairs making a cup of coffee when I saw my mum's cat staring into the dark corridor. I don't know why, but I was certain he would be stood there when I looked. Of course, he wasn't. I still expect to see him when I turn a corner or look out the window or hear a knock at the door.
I can't put into words just how much I miss him.
