Vent (ctb attempt and the reason to it)

[Chunchi]

Well it all starts when my parents found my rolling papers for weed and they had suspicions that i was the one smoking. I made up some reason that my friend couldnt bring it home with him etc. And they belived me. I was in no trouble. Fast forward to a week later and i went out with my friends and we sat at resturant to eat. While we were eating i saw another friend at the same restuarant that likes to smoke so i went over to him to chat a bit because we hadnt seen each other for a really long time. It was like 5 minutes just so we could catch up a bit and all that. While i was with him my brother happens to pass and sees me with that friend who has the reputation of a stoner. My brother gets me in his car and drives me home so he can tell my parents what he saw and how he now knows that i smoke because i was hanging out with a stoner. And after my brother bring me home he goes back out and i think nothing of it. Around 20 minutes go by while i cry and beg my parents to trust me that i dont smoke n all the usual crap and then my brother comes home. He comes into the room where me and our parents are and he tells us that my friends have told on me. I couldnt belive it. Some guys with which i was a friend with told on me after being friends for almost 10 fucking years? They told my brother that i smoked in front of them, that i didnt eat so i could save up money for weed and much more. After that my parents heard that they said that they are going to get drug tests and test me to see if im telling the truth. After that i broke down and told them that i did smoke. I saw my whole family cry infront of me because of that. And I was fucking heartless. I felt no empathy for them. Not a single emotion of regret has passed through my head while seeing everybody cry. And that night while i tried to sleep i just felt like a pain to everybody around me. And the next morning tried commiting ctb by paracetamol and aspirin and stopped in the middle of taking the tablets because i didnt want to hurt my girlfriend. Instead i burned myself a bit to ease the pain and that is that. Rn i hate life and have constant chest pains after any fight or even a small problem in my life. Hope life gets better

 

[cgrtt.brns]

im so sorry you had to go through that. i understand ur family did it bc they care about u but thats such an invasion of privacy. how are you doing now?

 

[Chunchi]

im so sorry you had to go through that. i understand ur family did it bc they care about u but thats such an invasion of privacy. how are you doing now?

Thank you for asking. Right now I am not in a really good position because its like living in a jail. My phone can be checked whenever they want to, i cant go out with most of my real friends because they belive i smoked with them and even if i do go out with them i cant stay up late. They follow me sometimes in their cars, almost every time i go out i have to send them a picture of where I am, and they can drug test me whenever they want to if they feel like it. Basically most of my summer plans are ruined because i cant go to sleepovers or even stay with my friends more than about 3 hours per day. Hoping they will ease off because i have actually stopped smoking for some time and have passed the last drug test with a negative. I dont even know if this is a big punshiment or not but it sure feels like hell going from no to restrictions to this many. Hoping shit gets better. Love yall<3