Venting vent about life's imperfections

[_Minsk]

life is imperfect, i could imagine many would argue saying things like; "start accepting this, move on", but what if someone has a fundamental problem with it? i've tried to accept life for what it is, just a place to life on, where illness exist, pain, suffering and so on. sure it has good sides, like joy and happiness, but in what kind of relation? like 80% of pain and 20% of joy? it's painful since i really tried to accept this life, i tried to convince myself that im happy. it worked but never reached to the core of my being, like if i don't think about it, its ok. but as soon someone asks on how i am or some other things, its gone. i know that if you're happy that you see things from a different angle, life seems good, all that suffering ceases to exist to some degree, at least on your side. but as soon you're on the other end and in pain, its like the exact opposite, at least for me. i only see pain then, and that's where im in, i cant accept it, its not what i want my life to be like.
edit: sorry if this makes no sense, i just hate it all..

 

[overcomingfear]

Sorry to digress but your avatar is really funny to me. You have to ignore as much bad things as possible i guess

 

[Good4Nothing]

Right there with ya.