Water-Lily
Enlightened
- Dec 26, 2020
- 1,182
I need to post this. I want to be listened to, heard, and have my feelings validated and accepted.
So, last year, my younger brother did something horrible. Something that till this very day makes my heart bleed
It all started with him going to a friends party. My mother had bought me and him a bunch of video games. Games that today would go for hundreds of dollars and are not easily available. Those video games are enabled me to survive all the toxicity and trauma at home.
Anyways, he wanted to borrow a game. I wasn't hesitant, but I let him. Then that went from "borrow" to "have". It lead to us fighting over it. He claimed my mom bought the game for him when that wasn't the case. Either way, he was being a little shit trying to manipulate me into giving it to him. My father, playing shit referee, didn't help much. I let it go and my brother left with my game
He came back at night and gave it back to me. My data was completely erased. I confronted him about it and he denied messing with it. After about 2 days he confessed that a friend of his wiped out the data. Though knowing my brother that's a lie.
He later told me he wanted some games that were his. I knew what those games were and told him I'd look for it myself to give back for him. I honestly looked and I could only find one of the games. The other one I had lost years ago. However he was not satisfied. He threatened me with "if you don't let me look I will take them all myself". I should have listened
The next day was typical. Nothing really bad. I went for a check up and then spent time with relatives. Everything was fine till my grandma told me my brother was on the phone. Asking where his game was. I explained that I had lost it years ago and it's no longer. However my brother said "you left me no choice, I am dropping them out the fire escape"
My heart dropped. These games were not just fun time wasters. These games kept me alive. From the abuse, the trauma, the pain. For sometimes even just 30 minutes, I could escape from it all and be happy. I was bullied in school and had no friends. These games became my friends. Every time I wanted to commit suicide, these games kept me going and gave me a reason to keep on going. And that bastard took them
I went home with my aunt quickly and found my brother. He showed me what we did to my room. He ransacked it. He took my games and they were gone. I screamed, cried, and talked about suicide. The whole time he looked at me. He smiled. He felt happy seeing me in pain. He wanted to hurt me. I was so distraught I called the cops wanting to press charges. But my family was against it. I checked the fire escape he claimed he through them out of but there was nothing. Whatever he did with them, they're gone
My brother had no remorse, my dad told me in my crying state "I wish I never had kids". And that was it. That set me off. I starting screaming and curse and throwing things. I left and went to a friends place for the night
Till this day I never got an apology. My brother occasionally says "you seem happy. I guess you don't care about your games". When I confronted my dad on what he said he said "it was a long time ago. Let go of it. I was angry. Let's move on"
Know how I fucking feel? Ever since I was a child I suffered horrific abuse from my parents. And I was always expected to be the therapist. My mom complained to me about her failing marriage, how she was molested, how my dad doesn't pleasure her anymore, how he avoids her, how nobody loves her. I was fucking 8. EIGHT. No child should be a therapist for their parent! And if I god forbid had a problem "STOP CRYING BITCH. STOP FEELING SAD! YOU CRYING MAKES ME MISERABLE GET AWAY FROM ME!"
My dad? "Stop being sensitive. You cry too much. Leave me alone"
I was abused by both those fuckers. Yet when they had problems who had to console them? Me. But when I cried? I had to go fuck myself
I have been told "forgive your brother" "move on" no. FUCKING NO. I WILL NOT FORGIVE THAT FUCKER
I plan to start working soon. Continue my eduction and get the fuck out of here
All I wanted is validation. All I wanted was to know that I mattered.
Thank you for listening
So, last year, my younger brother did something horrible. Something that till this very day makes my heart bleed
It all started with him going to a friends party. My mother had bought me and him a bunch of video games. Games that today would go for hundreds of dollars and are not easily available. Those video games are enabled me to survive all the toxicity and trauma at home.
Anyways, he wanted to borrow a game. I wasn't hesitant, but I let him. Then that went from "borrow" to "have". It lead to us fighting over it. He claimed my mom bought the game for him when that wasn't the case. Either way, he was being a little shit trying to manipulate me into giving it to him. My father, playing shit referee, didn't help much. I let it go and my brother left with my game
He came back at night and gave it back to me. My data was completely erased. I confronted him about it and he denied messing with it. After about 2 days he confessed that a friend of his wiped out the data. Though knowing my brother that's a lie.
He later told me he wanted some games that were his. I knew what those games were and told him I'd look for it myself to give back for him. I honestly looked and I could only find one of the games. The other one I had lost years ago. However he was not satisfied. He threatened me with "if you don't let me look I will take them all myself". I should have listened
The next day was typical. Nothing really bad. I went for a check up and then spent time with relatives. Everything was fine till my grandma told me my brother was on the phone. Asking where his game was. I explained that I had lost it years ago and it's no longer. However my brother said "you left me no choice, I am dropping them out the fire escape"
My heart dropped. These games were not just fun time wasters. These games kept me alive. From the abuse, the trauma, the pain. For sometimes even just 30 minutes, I could escape from it all and be happy. I was bullied in school and had no friends. These games became my friends. Every time I wanted to commit suicide, these games kept me going and gave me a reason to keep on going. And that bastard took them
I went home with my aunt quickly and found my brother. He showed me what we did to my room. He ransacked it. He took my games and they were gone. I screamed, cried, and talked about suicide. The whole time he looked at me. He smiled. He felt happy seeing me in pain. He wanted to hurt me. I was so distraught I called the cops wanting to press charges. But my family was against it. I checked the fire escape he claimed he through them out of but there was nothing. Whatever he did with them, they're gone
My brother had no remorse, my dad told me in my crying state "I wish I never had kids". And that was it. That set me off. I starting screaming and curse and throwing things. I left and went to a friends place for the night
Till this day I never got an apology. My brother occasionally says "you seem happy. I guess you don't care about your games". When I confronted my dad on what he said he said "it was a long time ago. Let go of it. I was angry. Let's move on"
Know how I fucking feel? Ever since I was a child I suffered horrific abuse from my parents. And I was always expected to be the therapist. My mom complained to me about her failing marriage, how she was molested, how my dad doesn't pleasure her anymore, how he avoids her, how nobody loves her. I was fucking 8. EIGHT. No child should be a therapist for their parent! And if I god forbid had a problem "STOP CRYING BITCH. STOP FEELING SAD! YOU CRYING MAKES ME MISERABLE GET AWAY FROM ME!"
My dad? "Stop being sensitive. You cry too much. Leave me alone"
I was abused by both those fuckers. Yet when they had problems who had to console them? Me. But when I cried? I had to go fuck myself
I have been told "forgive your brother" "move on" no. FUCKING NO. I WILL NOT FORGIVE THAT FUCKER
I plan to start working soon. Continue my eduction and get the fuck out of here
All I wanted is validation. All I wanted was to know that I mattered.
Thank you for listening
