Utter hopelessness and sadness

[MrDarkness]

recently I've lost 2 friends to ctb and most likely another one soon, I'm in so much pain and sadness, like I can't sleep or eat without thinking about them, I was thinking of getting a job to buy fent, I'm 18 so hopefully someone can sell it to me no problem anyway, at this rate I might full hang, like it feels the joy was ripped out of my heart.

Fuck I'm such a mess rn, even my dreams are filled with them, getting high, drinking, self harm, the thoughts won't ever leave. I'm on my last legs

 

[SkippingRope]

Hi! It was so heartbreaking reading this:( If you'd like someone to talk with, add me on discord: skippingrope#0. No pressure!

 

[777cave]

So sorry. Wishing you the best.

 

[nadia225]

Wow I am sorry you are going through so much loss at the moment and you are loosing people that were in your support circle that you seemed to have loved this loss is very hard to convey with so much sadness and sorrow. I hope you find healing soon and I trust that you will. please reach out and find others to help you support you whether that is a support group or room or person just someone or something in such a time of distress and utter aloneness it may be fruitful. You are dealing with a plethora of emotions at this moment that aren't easy to juggling which is most likely mixed in with any previous emotions you may have already had so finding some healthy release just a little to ease the pain something that is suitable for you is truly needed. Sending Strength and Understanding

 

[MrDarkness]

Wow I am sorry you are going through so much loss at the moment and you are loosing people that were in your support circle that you seemed to have loved this loss is very hard to convey with so much sadness and sorrow. I hope you find healing soon and I trust that you will. please reach out and find others to help you support you whether that is a support group or room or person just someone or something in such a time of distress and utter aloneness it may be fruitful. You are dealing with a plethora of emotions at this moment that aren't easy to juggling which is most likely mixed in with any previous emotions you may have already had so finding some healthy release just a little to ease the pain something that is suitable for you is truly needed. Sending Strength and Understanding

Thank you for your kind words

 

[AllFoxedOut]

Im so sorry. it is so painful when those close to us CTB. I recently went through this myself... I just hope your friends found peace. we deserve ours too.

 

[Techef]

Sorry for your losses. I won't pretend to know what you're going through or how you feel, but I've lost quite a few people I was close with to CTB/suicide. It's usually the kind and gentle souls that go this way, while the selfish, abusive, evil people in my life continue to abuse and exploit those around them without remorse. It sucks. The first person I was close with CTB'd when I was 5 (or 6?), then there was a rapid succession of CTBs among my relatives during the ensuing several yeras. Lost 4 friends to CTB, a boss from work, and more recently my abusive and mentally ill mother. And now that I'm approaching the end of my life through terminal illness, my pro-life sibling seems to be contemplating CTB'ing as well, especially after I last asked them to meet one last time before I pass (although they probably voluntarily admitted themselves to a psych ward as they'd done in the past when they were suicidal). I'm pretty sure once I CTB, they will too.

 

[MrDarkness]

Sorry for your losses. I won't pretend to know what you're going through or how you feel, but I've lost quite a few people I was close with to CTB/suicide. It's usually the kind and gentle souls that go this way, while the selfish, abusive, evil people in my life continue to abuse and exploit those around them without remorse. It sucks. The first person I was close with CTB'd when I was 5 (or 6?), then there was a rapid succession of CTBs among my relatives during the ensuing several yeras. Lost 4 friends to CTB, a boss from work, and more recently my abusive and mentally ill mother. And now that I'm approaching the end of my life through terminal illness, my pro-life sibling seems to be contemplating CTB'ing as well, especially after I last asked them to meet one last time before I pass (although they probably voluntarily admitted themselves to a psych ward as they'd done in the past when they were suicidal). I'm pretty sure once I CTB, they will too.

damn that's rough, I'm sorry life has been to cruel to you