I have to anounce with heavy heart that @Midgardsorm has ctb last week and he asked me to inform the community on his behalf. He didn't know if his attempt would succeed and decided to leave without a goodbye thread. I've talked to him briefly prior to his exit and he seemed very clear-headed and calm. It wasn't an impulsive decision.
His contributed a lot and I deeply appreciate all he has done for this community. I'm saddened about his sudden departure and it's difficult to write this but I hope he had a peaceful departure.
Rest in peace, Midgardsorm.
Thank you for letting us know. I understand this must have been difficult for you to write, especially since his departure was so sudden.
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I am lost for words and anything I write feels trite and inadequate. But,
@Midgardsorm, I love you very much. I should have told you how much I care about you while you were with us.
You are one of the most genuinely kind individuals I have ever known. You used to call me "Goddess" and show me so much support and love. You made me feel so cared about, more than anyone here. I wish we could have had one more voice chat like we talked about. I wish we could have met in person like you said to me once.
I am sorry you spent your last days alone. We spoke briefly - on the night you died, I suspect - and you were asking about my welfare. The fact you spent some of your last moments asking about me, after what you were about to do, is gut-wrenching and breaks my heart. Right until the end, you were so selfless.
The final words you wrote to me were "I'll be fine." I was sure we would speak again soon. I didn't realise that these were the last words you would ever say to me. I gave you space, but I wish I had instead tried to encourage you to talk to me more. I'm sorry I didn't realise what you meant, that I wasn't there for you the way you deserved, the way I always wanted to be.
I will miss you so very much, I cannot explain how much. I already miss you. I had been asking others if they heard from you. Everywhere feels emptier without you. I feel emptier without you.
I truly hope you are at rest. You suffered so much in life, and you didn't deserve any of the pain you carried. You were such a beautiful soul, and I was so lucky to have met you and called you my friend. I wish it never came to this, that you didn't have to go, but I hope you are at peace. And I hope you know how much you mattered to me and many others, how much you were loved. I will always remember you. As you used to say, may your light shine bright and never fade, forever.