Discussion us&palestine

[.koocain]

what are our problems compared to the people dying in palestine everyday, getting starved,and they would do anything to be like us rn.

i think about this daily and i think it also makes me feel abit better about my problems, makes me feel like who am i to complain?? , ofc we also have problems too but the kids would do anything to be in our shoes rn.

 

[R. A.]

I used to get down about complaining about my lot for reasons like this until I realised: I don't want people worse off than me to have it as "good" as me - I want them to have it better than me. I wouldn't wish the bullshit I struggle to live with on anyone just cause it's less of an objective hell. If we're dreaming unreal scenarios anyway, might as well dream us all out of hell entirely as opposed to just in less-deep circles of it.

 

[.koocain]

I used to get down about complaining about my lot for reasons like this until I realised: I don't want people worse off than me to have it as "good" as me - I want them to have it better than me. I wouldn't wish the bullshit I struggle to live with on anyone just cause it's less of an objective hell. If we're dreaming unreal scenarios anyway, might as well dream us all out of hell entirely as opposed to just in less-deep circles of it.

yes ur fully right, i meant they would do anything to have a home like me but yea i wouldnt want them to go through the mental battle im going through rn

 

[Agon321]

It's a general fact that people living in "developed" countries have better lives, and I think that's beyond dispute.
However, that doesn't mean your problems are less important. I assume you're suffering, so you have the right to complain and want something better for yourself.
The suffering of others doesn't mean you should self-flagellate. It's not your direct fault that the world sucks.

 

[Dejected 55]

I am never a fan of gatekeeping of trauma. Anyone who will try and argue that your pain is somehow invalid because you don't have it as bad as them is beyond wrong.

Here in the USA there is a lot of oppression of the LGBTQ+ community, for example. When a gay man complains about being randomly beaten or fired from a job or something because of his lifestyle... there are far too many here who will say, "Well be glad you live in the US, if you lived in the middle east they would execute you for being gay!" So, like, these people legitimately try and say with no hint of irony that the dude should just shut up and happily accept his beating because here in the US we are "better" because we don't just execute gays. It's fucking insane!

And then someone with one kind of traumatic experience will tell someone with a different kind of traumatic experience that theirs isn't as bad... so they don't get to complain. Like, there are real-world scenarios where someone comes into a room and suddenly it has to be all about them because their trauma is the worst and if you dare mention your trauma, you are weighed and measured and if your trauma is found lacking they will turn on you and become the very bullies and tormentors they say are after them.

It's just very sad to me that you can't be in a room of other trauma sufferers without there still being hierarchy and levels of pain such that in that safe space you will still be judged if your pain is perceived less than.

My leg is broken, and it hurts really bad... well, at least your leg will heal, I lost my leg entirely due to amputation... so, what, that guy over there lost both of his legs... and then there's the person who has both legs and they technically work but she is in SO much constant pain and there are no medicines strong enough to dull it for her... then there is the person who is the victim of an assault, who almost died and replays that all the time over and over... Who has the worst pain? Who is allowed to express their trauma in that room? Why can't ALL of them be heard?

Too much gatekeeping in the world. Don't let it happen to you, and don't be the one who imposes it on someone else.

 

[.koocain]

I am never a fan of gatekeeping of trauma. Anyone who will try and argue that your pain is somehow invalid because you don't have it as bad as them is beyond wrong.

Here in the USA there is a lot of oppression of the LGBTQ+ community, for example. When a gay man complains about being randomly beaten or fired from a job or something because of his lifestyle... there are far too many here who will say, "Well be glad you live in the US, if you lived in the middle east they would execute you for being gay!" So, like, these people legitimately try and say with no hint of irony that the dude should just shut up and happily accept his beating because here in the US we are "better" because we don't just execute gays. It's fucking insane!

And then someone with one kind of traumatic experience will tell someone with a different kind of traumatic experience that theirs isn't as bad... so they don't get to complain. Like, there are real-world scenarios where someone comes into a room and suddenly it has to be all about them because their trauma is the worst and if you dare mention your trauma, you are weighed and measured and if your trauma is found lacking they will turn on you and become the very bullies and tormentors they say are after them.

It's just very sad to me that you can't be in a room of other trauma sufferers without there still being hierarchy and levels of pain such that in that safe space you will still be judged if your pain is perceived less than.

My leg is broken, and it hurts really bad... well, at least your leg will heal, I lost my leg entirely due to amputation... so, what, that guy over there lost both of his legs... and then there's the person who has both legs and they technically work but she is in SO much constant pain and there are no medicines strong enough to dull it for her... then there is the person who is the victim of an assault, who almost died and replays that all the time over and over... Who has the worst pain? Who is allowed to express their trauma in that room? Why can't ALL of them be heard?

Too much gatekeeping in the world. Don't let it happen to you, and don't be the one who imposes it on someone else.

ur right but i personally feel like my problems aren'ta big deal compared to other traumas

 

[Dejected 55]

ur right but i personally feel like my problems aren'ta big deal compared to other traumas

I feel like that myself sometimes. I don't think anyone, including myself, should beat ourselves up about our problems being less than... but that's different than allowing others to do it. If you feel guilt, I get it... I sometimes see someone else with trauma and think mine doesn't compare and feel guilty complaining around them. I shouldn't have to, but it is human to do that to yourself. No one should do it TO you, though.

Don't ever let anyone tell you to "suck it up" or whatever because others have it worse than you. People who do that are inflicting more trauma on you.

And then... do try and give yourself a break too. Don't beat yourself up over your trauma. The world and other people are going to do more than enough of that... at least try and be your own internal advocate and not add to your pain.