DT2007
reincarnation
- Oct 9, 2023
- 197
The urge is back again and stronger than before. I don't know if i will take my sn in the next couple of days but i feel a strong desire of ending this existence. It's not that ny suicidal thoughts were gone in the meantime but it was hidibg under a thin sheet of normality. I already tried to end my existence a couple of weeks ago. But failed because i took it to easy. The next time i won't fail. I got everything i need. Only my courage......... I can see the bus......but im too scared to board it. To scared of another fail.....to scared of possible pain. I don't know why that is. Last time i didn't feel pain. Just a slight discomfort that was okay. I dread the salty taste. That was hortible. Especially the burping. Why can't i just drop dead.